tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21212024.post5835480395379818248..comments2024-03-10T10:40:32.319-07:00Comments on Pyromaniacs: Christian marriagePhil Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00649092052031518426noreply@blogger.comBlogger59125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21212024.post-13363042423471803202012-08-27T19:42:10.218-07:002012-08-27T19:42:10.218-07:00This comment has been removed by the author.Lindahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09418337100329537312noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21212024.post-28156352022424636852012-08-26T17:11:54.308-07:002012-08-26T17:11:54.308-07:00This comment has been removed by the author.Mike Mittelstadthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06998985963355608843noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21212024.post-66246536216717479862012-08-26T17:11:23.378-07:002012-08-26T17:11:23.378-07:00Great topic though I'm afraid late, in my case...Great topic though I'm afraid late, in my case, to have prevented a--um--trial the Lord has put my way. My wife and I began what I thought was a solid Christian marriage, based on Biblical principles, more than 18 years ago. But now we are separated and she is living under the same roof (her mom's, where my wife and I lived our entire marriage) with a man she met in an Internet chat room and traveled 1,400 miles to be with her. Clearly something went wrong and I take my share of the blame. I am an unChristian clod all too often, under pressure, and have said my share of some very nasty things in expressing my dissatisfaction at living all that time with the mother-in-law and quite a few pets.Of this I know I need to repent. This is the second time this separation has happened but the first time an Internet boyfriend has shown up in person. (Last time she came back to me within a couple of weeks.)I know from Scripture that bitterness and resentment are not the answer. (And even AA, from which I gained an initial idea of surrender to God a full year before I became a Christian, teaches that resentment can lead to backsliding.) I and my Christian friends are praying for my wife, this man, and her mom. Right now I have seen no legal documents and the matter is unchanged. My pastor is helping me retrieve stuff from the house, by appointment, when the couple isn't around. Thoughts?Mike Mittelstadthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06998985963355608843noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21212024.post-1493234647126609722012-08-26T13:02:41.870-07:002012-08-26T13:02:41.870-07:00Adding to Carl C.'s comments with 1Peter 1 - 3...Adding to Carl C.'s comments with 1Peter 1 - 3:7 as the context 1 Pet 3:8 - 9 "Now finally, all of you should be likeminded and sympathetic, should love believers, and be compassionate and humble, not paying back evil for evil or insult for insult but, on the contrary, giving a blessing, since you were called for this, so that you can inherit a blessing.AJMhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00814945516193860421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21212024.post-66750786043249644102012-08-26T09:06:47.250-07:002012-08-26T09:06:47.250-07:00"Love your neighbor as yourself" is made..."Love your neighbor as yourself" is made eerily real when your spouse is your closest neighbor, and knows every dirty detail of your self-love.Carl C.https://www.blogger.com/profile/02186935981253723026noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21212024.post-47345607419705946732012-08-25T19:17:49.932-07:002012-08-25T19:17:49.932-07:00The Christian life is "already/not yet,"...The Christian life is "already/not yet," but the Christian marriage is "already." I've met my wife here and now, but have to wait to meet God.Steve Scotthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10297044571819912511noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21212024.post-63537867460049241692012-08-25T08:45:52.088-07:002012-08-25T08:45:52.088-07:00"That's one reason why the divorce rate h..."That's one reason why the divorce rate has gotten so high."<br /><br />Made me think why Amy Grant got divorced: (And maybe this will also speak to this whole doctrinal truth we are discussing).<br />She said, in Charisma Magazine, I think it was, That when she met Vince Gill she realized that relationships are more important than marriage, and she also believes God tells us that as well.<br />"Relationships are more important than mariiage."<br />So she leaves her husband for Vince.<br /><br />Of course she is a huge personality in thelime light, and a millionaire most likely, and all that does affect our hearts. Solomon is our best example, and he had 700 wives, along with 300 concubines.<br /><br />Hope all this fits within our discussion.<br /><br />Have a blessed and joy filled Lord's Day! Go and worship our Father and Savior and listen to His Word, and grow in His grace and truth.<br /><br />donsandshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03665794015011057098noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21212024.post-32971807245095916772012-08-25T07:05:09.476-07:002012-08-25T07:05:09.476-07:00When we learn by yoking with Jesus the faithfulnes...When we learn by yoking with Jesus the faithfulness and mercy of the Lord and his unconditional love putting it into practice, the Christian's marriage is a model to the supreme standard and is the backbone to our society.<br />Lindahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09418337100329537312noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21212024.post-91208040973491694952012-08-24T21:49:59.917-07:002012-08-24T21:49:59.917-07:00Marriage offers the Christian intimacy that we are...Marriage offers the Christian intimacy that we are supposed to have in our churches - if we are willing to submit. I go back to Ephesians 5. Paul is talking about church early in the chapter, makes a general statement about submission, talks about marriage, and then brings it back to a relationship between Christ and the church.<br /><br />Look at verse 11. Prior to that Paul lists all kinds of bad things and says we shouldn't name them in verse 3, but in verse 11 he says we should expose them. This is some kind of apparent tension to have in the church fellowship. "Submitting" in verse 21 seems to be a fear-and-trembling kind of thing after all that.<br /><br />Do we do this in church? We seem to get verse 3 pretty good except when someone decides to gossip. We're certainly not going to reveal our own flaws to our church family. Put on our Sunday best and pretend that life is great when we're surely guilty of something Paul just mentioned.<br /><br />So because we have sin nipping at our heels, women are supposed to submit to their husbands as to the Lord and men are supposed to love their wives as Christ loved the church - sacrificially and sanctifyingly. You can't do that without verse 11 happening. A church body can carry on a ruse for a long time with everyone indulging in private sins. But that's not going to happen in a marriage. A spouse will usually find out what evil thing you're up to. It's best to be open about it up front.<br /><br />That's one reason why the divorce rate has gotten so high. We don't know how to handle the disillusionment that Mr or Mrs Right isn't the great person we thought we married. We're not prepared for that kind of intimacy because we've believed the deception we've brought to church and can't see that we're not exactly an ideal spouse either.<br /><br />So a marriage that is a marriage (rather than a socially sanctioned temporary cohabitation) embraces this kind of hard intimacy. I'm so grateful to God for my wife. We have this kind of marriage and our love is stronger for it.Jim Pembertonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01446388434272680014noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21212024.post-72921498621566350552012-08-24T19:26:08.821-07:002012-08-24T19:26:08.821-07:00I just read James 3. Wonder what James means here:...I just read James 3. Wonder what James means here: "From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. <br />My brothers, these things ought not to be so. Does a spring pour forth from the same opening both fresh and salt water? Can a fig tree, my brothers, bear olives, or a grapevine produce figs? Neither can a salt pond yield fresh water."-James , our Lord's brother<br /><br />Is the fruit of our tongue the indication of our hearts?<br />Can the born again husband bless his wife, and then curse his wife?<br /><br />I suppose there must be grows away from the cursing, and especially repentance, if we are truly a Christian. Yet, we surely can have times when our tongues " bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God."-Jamesdonsandshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03665794015011057098noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21212024.post-35757153243389713642012-08-24T14:14:03.799-07:002012-08-24T14:14:03.799-07:00First thing that comes to mind is how incapable I ...First thing that comes to mind is how incapable I was when single to demonstrate (feebly) how Christ laid down His life for the Church. I mean, I suck at it with a wife; I can only imagine how poorly I did it before I had the specifically-named target in my life.<br /><br />Of course, I'm willing to agree that it's just that I'm especially terrible at that, and not that single people in general are terrible. Chris Hhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09852172543604796279noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21212024.post-80339636008316497992012-08-24T12:27:10.378-07:002012-08-24T12:27:10.378-07:00Yes with so much more.
If I cannot/ will not "...Yes with so much more.<br />If I cannot/ will not "live out the Gospel AND the rest of the whole counsel of God" AT HOME then __________. (fill in the blank)AJMhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00814945516193860421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21212024.post-30929394093691851552012-08-24T12:10:01.174-07:002012-08-24T12:10:01.174-07:00No, I think AJM makes a really important point.
S...No, I think AJM makes a really important point.<br /><br />Some unbeliever curses us or abuses us in some way, and we know what to do: return blessing for cursing. Do good. Pray. Be charitable?<br /><br />But if our spouse does it?<br /><br />NO WAY I'M STANDING FOR THAT!!! REVENGE IS MINE!!! COMMENCE OPERATION DEEP FREEZE / ENDLESSS BULLYRAG / DEATH BY WATERWORKS (or whatever).<br /><br />You see the point.DJPhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16471042180904855578noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21212024.post-1538124151299594902012-08-24T11:45:09.219-07:002012-08-24T11:45:09.219-07:00AJM,
I can see the truth in what you were saying....AJM,<br /><br />I can see the truth in what you were saying. <br /><br />For what it's worth, I typed "Um." and it came out "amoduct 45Um."<br /><br />Um?Tom Chantryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02485908616177111150noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21212024.post-24151219216913428782012-08-24T11:34:58.276-07:002012-08-24T11:34:58.276-07:00Hopefully not mine. Please consider my comment in ...Hopefully not mine. Please consider my comment in the light of a "first day" since I did not read any comments until I responded to Dans invitation.AJMhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00814945516193860421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21212024.post-35667147634398715122012-08-24T11:26:00.985-07:002012-08-24T11:26:00.985-07:00amoduct 45Um.
Are the day 2 comments getting a li...amoduct 45Um.<br /><br />Are the day 2 comments getting a little tongue in cheek?Tom Chantryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02485908616177111150noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21212024.post-25536320854334906942012-08-24T11:10:24.889-07:002012-08-24T11:10:24.889-07:00I'm called to love my wife AND my enemies even...I'm called to love my wife AND my enemies even when it is the same person.AJMhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00814945516193860421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21212024.post-10668544907614094292012-08-24T09:31:35.454-07:002012-08-24T09:31:35.454-07:00Much of the Christian life and Christian life is o...Much of the Christian life and Christian life is ordinary and "boring".<br />Don't expect exciting events every day.<br /><br />(I stealing this all from a recent <a href="http://www.whitehorseinn.org/blog/2012/07/15/whi-1110-boredom-entertainment/" rel="nofollow">White Horse Inn podcast)</a>rockstarkphttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12347771663239133052noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21212024.post-11428036528979234562012-08-24T05:42:41.705-07:002012-08-24T05:42:41.705-07:00Celebrated our fifteenth wedding anniversary this ...Celebrated our fifteenth wedding anniversary this month, and yet of that time I have only been a Christian husband the last three.<br /><br />Broken, painful, sanctifying, gracious, being accountable, making disciples (three now aged 12, 9 and six months).. my marriage is eveything the church is, and yet much more powerful. I can put on my Sunday face and fake it, but as it was mentioned before: it's a lot harder to do with someone you live with 24/7/365. Bipolar in Transitionhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13271045586639632487noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21212024.post-76748419412571419322012-08-24T05:06:57.436-07:002012-08-24T05:06:57.436-07:00Nonna--"Marriage is sacrifice and in this way...Nonna--"Marriage is sacrifice and in this way it reflects Christ and His Bride, the Church."<br /><br />That's beautiful Nonna and congrats on 30 years Woowoo Praise the LORD!. <br /><br />You made me think of the verse where it says "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her"-Eph. 5:25..<br /><br />I'll never forget when my brother told me before I was even saved that the love Christ talks about is sacrificial love not selfish love.. That really impressed me.Lindahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09418337100329537312noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21212024.post-54149716767081592122012-08-23T23:50:22.658-07:002012-08-23T23:50:22.658-07:00My beloved husband and I agreed when we married no...My beloved husband and I agreed when we married not to ever mention divorce as an option. We have remained true to that agreement for over 30 years now. Glory to Jesus Christ.<br /><br />We have learned to forgive one another over and over again. Marriage without forgiveness would make life miserable, indeed almost unbearable. In light of this, it is always best not to let the sun go down on one's anger. So before we go to sleep at night, if we have any anger, malice, or disordered passion against the other, we ask for forgiveness.<br /><br />Marriage is sacrifice and in this way it reflects Christ and His Bride, the Church. Both must resist selfish desires that do not take the needs of their spouse into consideration. Though my dear husband and I fall short in this regard, nonetheless we strive toward maturity in Christ and building up one another in our most holy faith.Nonnahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02452040267177962781noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21212024.post-56702741828042106392012-08-23T23:27:18.438-07:002012-08-23T23:27:18.438-07:00After several very heart-wrenching relationships I...After several very heart-wrenching relationships I'm caught between these two verses <br /><br />"An excellent wife who can find?" <br /><br />and <br /><br />"He who finds a wife, finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord."<br /><br />I think I'm leaning towards the hopelessness displayed in the first verse of trying to find the extremely rare gem. I'll leave it to the Lord to work this one out in His timing. :)Johnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10846351007852509477noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21212024.post-79988516800956566652012-08-23T15:46:49.347-07:002012-08-23T15:46:49.347-07:00This comment has been removed by the author.Merrilee Stevensonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12770625841767761025noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21212024.post-78661968833225157452012-08-23T15:45:49.450-07:002012-08-23T15:45:49.450-07:00I've been enjoying this, although my hands hav...I've been enjoying this, although my hands have been rather busy today. I was thinking about <a href="http://www.gty.org/resources/sermons/80-384/children-obey-your-parents" rel="nofollow">a really stirring message</a> that I heard in regards to the family, and it goes well with this topic. <br /><br />This is the part that I vividly remember: <br /><br />"When single people, single Christians leave this world, they leave no heritage. They leave no offspring. They have passed down nothing because they've received no new life from the Lord. Now it's not to say they don't witness and evangelize. But the intimacy and the power of evangelism within the family, between the parents and the children, they miss. So it is true that Scripture says it's not good to be alone. And Scripture also says it's a blessing from the Lord to bring up children."<br /><br />I know that reproducing mankind in the fleshiest sense is not uber-righteousness. Offspring does not equal holiness. But in comparison/contrast with the Christian life, reproducing offspring who reproduce is a good indicator that things are going as they should be going. Was that eloquent enough? <br /><br />Before I go back to my kitchen and make more sense, I think it's possible that the single star is automatically generated. As in maybe blogger wants to automatically rate everything, and you can't go lower than one, so BAM. One star. Actual readers with actual responses will actually make the ratings go up. Just a guess. I think I was the first one to rate with 5 stars today. Yay me!Merrilee Stevensonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12770625841767761025noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21212024.post-91761491203354438812012-08-23T14:15:03.405-07:002012-08-23T14:15:03.405-07:00You all have made terrific contributions.
To add ...You all have made terrific contributions.<br /><br />To add one pastoral thought: most of the issues I've seen in marriage don't even amount to a failure specifically to apply specifically marital graces. Most — and I do say "most," not "all" — of them amount to a failure to apply <i>Christian</i> graces, graces in which <i>all</i> of us should be growing. (That's a theme that could be explored a lot more.)<br /><br />Christian marriage demands the same graces that Christian living does, only more so. That is, I should show these graces to friends and in church and all — but I'm not with those people 24/7. I go home. I can go home at will. I can be ignorant, or I can arrange ignorance, or I can feign ignorance.<br /><br />But with your 24/7/365 friend? Not so much! No escape!DJPhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16471042180904855578noreply@blogger.com