tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21212024.post2545137918703602788..comments2024-03-10T10:40:32.319-07:00Comments on Pyromaniacs: Sister... show mercy! (Annual repost #3)Phil Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00649092052031518426noreply@blogger.comBlogger95125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21212024.post-24712113739876560632010-09-13T19:03:58.580-07:002010-09-13T19:03:58.580-07:00Just to kinda echo DJP, there's a lot of middl...Just to kinda echo DJP, there's a lot of middle room. I don't think women should have to wear dresses to their ankles and cover every square inch of skin. I just ask that you don't wear clothes that are designed to draw my attention. I'll take care of the rest.Aaronhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15285043747501470199noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21212024.post-4800607135842699162010-09-13T17:45:41.403-07:002010-09-13T17:45:41.403-07:00I'm sure it's frustrating for attractive w...I'm sure it's frustrating for attractive women who try to be merciful, Shatterfocus. But I thought I actually covered all that in the post. I don't make women responsible for what men do in their hearts; I just ask that they not throw fuel on the first unnecessarily. Just be merciful, don't pretend, care, be wise. There's miles between a large burlap sack and the clothes some Christian women wear.DJPhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16471042180904855578noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21212024.post-23126784534741888372010-09-13T15:43:58.304-07:002010-09-13T15:43:58.304-07:00I have to say, as a 17 year old girl who has strug...I have to say, as a 17 year old girl who has struggled through these issues, I still haven't come to a solid position. I DEFINITELY come down firm on the side of not wearing too-tight, or revealing clothes. However, some people still say things. "That shirt is too flattering". But why? It's not tight anywhere, it's just a flattering cut that makes me slimmer and longer. Is that wrong? <br /><br />I'm just wondering here. If we are leaving everything to the imagination, and someone still chooses to imagine, because they imagine that imagining what's underneath is nice, who is ultimately to blame for that?<br /><br />Note: I'm not trying to blame all men- but I must say that sometimes I think some of the very legalistic ones have expectations a little too high. Just sayin.<br /><br />However, with that said- great job on the post! A great reminder :)Shatterfocushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13401738192184623445noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21212024.post-30234287546004281592010-09-13T10:02:07.022-07:002010-09-13T10:02:07.022-07:00Still waiting on the video version.Still waiting on the video version.Dennyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12143472985547496286noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21212024.post-6658169353671032802010-09-11T09:31:19.190-07:002010-09-11T09:31:19.190-07:00Well here is a tip for the ladies :-) Don't ju...Well here is a tip for the ladies :-) Don't just look at the mirror...look directly down and if you can see anything you need a higher neckline!<br /><br />My flatmate and I check with eachother before leaving the house. I also ask a close male friend for his opinion. He is a solid Christian so I value what he has to say.<br /><br />It can be difficult for women to know exactly if we're wearing something "wrong" because we look at our outfit and think "Well don't I look cute" or "My dress makes me look pretty - the colour makes my eyes stand out".<br /><br />I am speaking from my own experience here. I personally find discernment in this area difficult. Just last Sunday I was unsure about my trousers. I regret wearing them now. I felt very convicted and then I read this blog during the week. I feel very confused about what is right and what is wrong.<br /><br />Thank you for this post Dan because it reminds me that I must not only be "helpful" to men but I must also be an example to the younger women and girls in my life. ( Like in Titus)<br /><br />I almost wish we had specific guidelines for how short/long skirts should be. When I was at school (wow that makes me sound old!) we had to kneel and if our skirt didn't reach the ground we got into big trouble and had our skirts corrected. Mine was always "too long"! I feel that was a blessing.<br /><br />About swimming attire. I was very blessed to find long swimming shorts that come below my knees! That was due to many hours of second-hand clothes shopping and God.<br /><br />Not meaning to take away anything from this post but what about women who get caught up in "emotional porn"? (I think Todd Friel calls it that) As in "lovey dovey" books and romantic movies. I personally believe that can also be very destructive to relationships etc. Perhaps one of the gentlemen already wrote one this topic another time? OR they might in the near future?<br /><br />(Please feel free to correct my grammar, punctuation etc!)Patiencehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17153561978053916808noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21212024.post-49861378352038431972010-09-10T12:30:56.160-07:002010-09-10T12:30:56.160-07:00Sorry to post so soon, but we found swimsuit patte...Sorry to post so soon, but we found swimsuit patterns we could buy on line that were modest and cute. They were easy to sew. And my 14 year old daughter loves hers. I made one for myself and even the non-believing neighbor girl wants me to make one for her. We just found LOUD patterned lycra. <br /><br />There is a way, and in His mercy, we have lots of fun despite what Hollywood and Madison Avenue wants to shove down our throat. They don't get the chance they used to as we homeschool (what a relief!) and don't have TV and shop at Costco, Sam's Club and Trader Joes, thus obviating any opportunity to *see* the latest...Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13752102963867884362noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21212024.post-64930644521401930332010-09-10T12:28:34.895-07:002010-09-10T12:28:34.895-07:00Painful Thoughts
Since I’ve been saved the Holy S...Painful Thoughts<br /><br />Since I’ve been saved the Holy Spirit works in me every day to hold back the most despicable thoughts you could ever imagine. It’s amazing how these thoughts still fight in effort to overpower the Sprit…it is a true spiritual war!!!<br /><br />Every day when I was kid (now 43) – pre internet – you dreamed about stumbling across your friend’s dad’s girly magazines. Then, when you did, it was like you just won the lottery.<br /><br />My concern is for today’s boys and especially their future wives. With computers in every corner and internet cell phones in every bathroom stall, there is no way to protect the eyes and hearts of the boys, which in turn, will put expectations on their wives that can never be fulfilled.<br /><br />Knowing so many more boys will grow up to put their wives through what I had before repentance…truly makes me weep.Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17471013864706426002noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21212024.post-80381539274847357222010-09-10T12:24:52.190-07:002010-09-10T12:24:52.190-07:00My husband and I have a 14 year old daughter and i...My husband and I have a 14 year old daughter and if we didn't have the thrift store, I am afraid I would be shopping Nieman Marcus. WalMart, Target...all the low-end places have only schlock and prostitute wannabe clothing. <br /><br />It's hard--and I know how to sew! Past size 6X, it is hard finding a modest pattern.<br /><br />But as you so astutely pointed out: not impossible. <br /><br />Really, how much do I want to honor God with how I dress? Do I really want Him and what He tells me to do more than anything?Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13752102963867884362noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21212024.post-81884309548794666962010-09-09T18:29:01.555-07:002010-09-09T18:29:01.555-07:00Good answer, Dan. Thanks.Good answer, Dan. Thanks.bphttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02265050268204322057noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21212024.post-47003547032869166432010-09-09T14:04:07.526-07:002010-09-09T14:04:07.526-07:00Speaking (ahem) for all men, I wish that it would ...Speaking (ahem) for all men, I wish that it would be handled in three ways:<br /><br />1. Titus 2:3-5<br />2. Male relatives (dads, brothers, husbands) sharing some wisdom <i>and the sisters listening to them</i>.<br />3. Sister-on-sister exhortation a la Hebrews 10:24.DJPhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16471042180904855578noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21212024.post-88971142705234339932010-09-09T14:01:23.583-07:002010-09-09T14:01:23.583-07:00Does anyone have any ideas of how this should be a...Does anyone have any ideas of how this should be addressed in the church? Our church definately addresses it with Purity Conferences, but ususally only people who are already sensitive to this issue go to these. And once in awhile it's addressed from the pulpit, but do you think it's appropriate to approach strangers in the body, take them aside, and mention it? Or should this be the responsibility of friends and acquaintances?bphttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02265050268204322057noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21212024.post-28364677603802171272010-09-09T13:44:36.000-07:002010-09-09T13:44:36.000-07:00@Linnet:
I see more bikinis at the pool across th...@Linnet:<br /><br />I see more bikinis at the pool across the street from my house than I do on a trip to some beaches. So yeah, I'd pretty much have to avoid all bodies of water, public parks, and probably any public place where women are present. As we've been discussing, I can't even go to church without some woman wearing enticing clothing. But for the record, I generally avoid public places, tv shows, etc. where I feel the enticement is more than I can handle.<br /><br />But I'll tell you a little secret. I don't need enticing clothing to lust. Men will lust after women even if you sealed them in a cardboard box. Spend some time in the middle east and you'll see what I mean. We have to take an attitude like Job "I have made a covenant with mine eyes; how then could I gaze upon a virgin? (note: the NIV sounds so much better but I quoted ESV). We simply can't lock ourselves in a closet.<br /><br />I keep thinking that as I age my lust/sexual drive will decrease. But Dan's update doesn't give me much hope for that.Aaronhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15285043747501470199noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21212024.post-5246396628049279192010-09-09T13:28:02.738-07:002010-09-09T13:28:02.738-07:00@anitra:
I work mostly with attorneys and other h...@anitra:<br /><br />I work mostly with attorneys and other high level professionals. Most would not wear such things. Some of their secretaries, however...Aaronhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15285043747501470199noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21212024.post-84403804656546860062010-09-09T13:26:24.563-07:002010-09-09T13:26:24.563-07:00@Mary Tyler:
1.) First of all, church is by far t...@Mary Tyler:<br /><br />1.) First of all, church is by far the safest place you will ever go. As I said, what a non-believer does in his mind is far, far worse. And you encounter those whenever you go into public. In other words, don't let this be an excuse for not going to church.<br /><br />2.) You don't live in a bubble. Most women cannot even begin to grasp the fight we men have. You've just discovered what most women haven't, which is one of the unfortunate side effects of the feminism movement. Women weren't liberated, they're just objectified as sexual objects to be used with little more thought than one's clothing. <br /><br />I've always told women that if they really knew what men they'd probably lock most of us up. Or they'd feel tremendous pity for us. The latter was confirmed when a speaker at one of my training conferences shared a personal story of a medical problem that required a brief period of testosterone treatment. Apparently her sex drive went through the roof and she realized what men must have to deal with every minute of everyday of their lives (from the moment they hit puberty).<br /><br />So pray for us and forgive us.Aaronhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15285043747501470199noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21212024.post-38001310953276392472010-09-09T12:50:35.365-07:002010-09-09T12:50:35.365-07:00Daryl
I think I was hearing you clearly all along...Daryl<br /><br />I think I was hearing you clearly all along. My understanding is you are saying that ALL men struggle with lust towards women, and that by choosing the word"if" (when writing "if a man struggles with lusting eyes") I'm implying that only some men struggle with lust. <br /><br />Here is what Jesus said, <br /> "if your foot causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life crippled than to have two feet and be thrown into hell. And if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out."<br /><br />Jesus said, "if your eye causes you to sin". I said, "if a man struggles with lustful eyes"<br /><br />Jesus gives us the chance to self-evaluate by using the word "if". If Jesus, knowing the hearts of all, leaves room for self-evaluation, when addressing lust, then how much more should I?<br /><br />He goes onto say...<br /> "It is better for you to enter the kingdom of God with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into hell, where their worm does not die, and the fire is not quenched." <br /><br />(after that, avoiding the beach -"if" that's what it takes- isn't looking so bad!)<br /><br />sounds to me that "if" a man self-evaluates and comes to the knowledge that going somewhere or looking at someone is going to lead him to sin against another in a lustful way...then he should avoid it...whether EVERYONE, EVERY MAN "including my husband", is or isn't.<br /><br />Jesus leaves no room for justification in his, what we might consider, extreme solutions.<br /><br />In the end, after these beneficial but still only conversations cease, each of us are responsible for our own self-evaluation, coming to our own individual conclusions and solutions. But no doubt, those choices will be brought to accountablity to our God who loves beauty, intends life, and hates the darkness of lust.<br /><br />Sir Aaron<br /><br />Avoiding ALL bodies of water (which I would think is not necessary, but IF IT IS for a man)...then isn't it the better option, rather than using women for his own gratification? or (I'm flinching) facing concequences Jesus mentioned?<br /><br />Again, my initial points are not to get into a bunch of should's and shame, but rather, they are 1. we all have different views of what modesty means in application.<br />2. That when Christian men are honest enough to address their sin against women, and then ask their sisters to help by becoming more self-aware of their dress, my hope is that my brothers are also seriously self-evaulating, making difficult, SACRIFICIAL, and what may appear to be extrememly wierd (gasp!) or bold choices to protect the women they come in contact with as well as keeping their own minds pure and sound.<br /><br />I immensely enjoy this exchange but don't want to be a blog hog, so I think this is pretty much it for me.Linnethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17735504463528867147noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21212024.post-39033315892009524162010-09-09T12:32:35.915-07:002010-09-09T12:32:35.915-07:00Thank you, Sir Arron for responding truthfully to ...Thank you, Sir Arron for responding truthfully to my post.<br /><br />I guess I live in a bubble; it was only a few years ago that I found out that Christian men still are plagued with lustful feelings (not all, but some). And we are all a work in process, I realise that.<br /><br />Since discovering this, I sometimes don't even want to go to church. I REALLY do feel violated, even when I wear turtlenecks and loose fitting clothing. I guess I thought church, of all places, was one of the safest places to escape this malady.<br /><br />I want to be seen as a Godly woman, a real person, not some...well, you know, OBJECT to be lusted over. <br /><br />And, I am all too aware that many women dress far too provocatively. This is an issue that concerns me JUST as deeply. <br /><br />I hope I don't give the impression I dwell on this matter obsessively, or cover my elbows and wear a bun in my hair (I have cousins, who are Wesleyans, that do this). This is just as extreme. But yes, it does bother me. I think most Christian women, in general, feel this way (violated). Our personhood is important to us. <br /> <br />Once again, thank you for your honesty. God bless you for that.Mary Elizabeth Tylerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08915438088186414796noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21212024.post-59557076944988178222010-09-09T12:09:32.684-07:002010-09-09T12:09:32.684-07:00This comment has been removed by the author.Mary Elizabeth Tylerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08915438088186414796noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21212024.post-17165085735630462532010-09-09T10:44:17.716-07:002010-09-09T10:44:17.716-07:00This comment has been removed by the author.Paula Bolyardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05567777774272590296noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21212024.post-41628600924762977552010-09-09T10:18:40.285-07:002010-09-09T10:18:40.285-07:00@Sir Aaron:
You said: "Also, odd that men we...@Sir Aaron:<br /><br />You said: "Also, odd that men wear work clothes to church but women don't. If they also wore professional clothing, we'd not have this blog post."<br /><br />Have you seen what constitutes "professional clothing" for women these days? Super-tight slacks, button-down shirts that don't actually have buttons past a woman's cleavage... As a woman, I feel much more comfortable (and less revealing) wearing a plain T-shirt and skirt to church than I do wearing a woman's suit.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21212024.post-41616436122715126232010-09-09T09:30:23.243-07:002010-09-09T09:30:23.243-07:00Sir Aaron,
If men all came to grips with this, th...Sir Aaron,<br /><br />If men all came to grips with this, then they would stop blaming women who really are trying to be careful.<br /><br />If women came to grips with it, more of them would be more careful.<br /><br />(Talking about Christian men and women that is. Many non-believers understand this...and take full advantage.)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21212024.post-72404241806454897292010-09-09T09:22:13.641-07:002010-09-09T09:22:13.641-07:00@Daryl:
I'm with you. I think men would not ...@Daryl:<br /><br />I'm with you. I think men would not be allowed near <i>any</i> body of water.<br /><br />Ever.Aaronhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15285043747501470199noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21212024.post-19498936985542139362010-09-09T09:20:29.934-07:002010-09-09T09:20:29.934-07:00What I want to know is who came up with the idea o...What I want to know is who came up with the idea of men wearing the most uncomfortable clothing in the history of mankind (neckties and suits) whilst women get to wear dresses made from cloth not thicker than the napkins at Subway? Also, odd that men wear work clothes to church but women don't. If they also wore professional clothing, we'd not have this blog post.Aaronhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15285043747501470199noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21212024.post-22257328628822117182010-09-09T09:15:58.907-07:002010-09-09T09:15:58.907-07:00@Mary Tyler:
Personally, I think you should feel ...@Mary Tyler:<br /><br />Personally, I think you <i>should</i> feel violated. Unfortunately for women, the men at church have disney channel thoughts compared to unsaved men.<br /><br />I've often wanted to write a book about my experiences before becoming saved so that women (and fathers) would know exactly what many men are not only thinking, but actively plotting. I dare say, most women would be shocked and offended. But as a Christian, I also know that mankind's sinful nature would ultimately result in denial.Aaronhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15285043747501470199noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21212024.post-74658736281205548652010-09-09T09:00:17.236-07:002010-09-09T09:00:17.236-07:00Lust is Every Man's Battle. However, some of ...Lust is <i>Every Man's Battle</i>. However, some of us struggle more than others because we came from a life of sin wherein we expected/encouraged/celebrated for engaging in sexual sin with women. As such we trained our eyes and our minds to actively seek out women based on attractiveness, judge them based on our lust, and then carefully analyze them to determine (1)sexual availability and (2) a best approach to "score." So the some of us not only have preconditioned lust, but also extensive bad habits that we have to break.<br /><br />Through a long history of depravity before becoming truly saved, I learned several things. First is that most women are surprisingly naive about what their clothing (and tattoos/piercings) says about them. A practiced man can profile a woman based on her external appearance suprisingly accurately (suprising to women, that is). Secondly, some women do know something...namely, they know dressing a certain way draws men's attractions and that can be used to attain attention (usually because they didn't get enough from Daddy) or to control men (naivety again, because men are getting exactly what they want). <br /><br />Now as a Christian, I understand I have to retrain my eyes (as Job). All I want from women is to not wear clothing that has a "look here" sign.<br /><br />BTW, my daughter is pretty tall for her age (41" at 3 yrs old). Finding a dress that goes even to her knees is extremely difficult(because then the top part is too low). My wife and I have resulted to buying women's shirts to wear as a dress and then having her wear an undershirt. (and thank God for school uniforms).Aaronhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15285043747501470199noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21212024.post-56294406796830097112010-09-09T05:48:06.069-07:002010-09-09T05:48:06.069-07:00Linnet,
I'm not sure how much more clear I ca...Linnet,<br /><br />I'm not sure how much more clear I can make it.<br /><br />But I'll say this at least. If every man who has to struggle in this area stayed away from the beach, then every man, your husband included, would never ever go to the beach.<br /><br />Ever.<br /><br />It's worth noting that in a men's gathering, where this point is made, you'll see every head nodding and smiling, and not a single one disagreeing.<br />And, if you saw one disagreeing, the guys who notice are saying "Nice try buddy, we know better than that."Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com