18 December 2006

Christmas wishes for Phil and Frank

by Dan Phillips

I'm striking out on my own here, posting my Christmas wishes for Phil and Frank. Maybe they'll follow suit?

For Phil:
  1. Thirty-hour days.
  2. Editron 6.0, an application by which he can process MacArthur's manuscripts, and edit 100 pages of text in 3 seconds!
  3. Year-long membership in Mystery Frozen Meat Chub O' the Month Club.
  4. The next one would have been a goof on this movie title, but my "wish" for a 410+ comment thread would have been rapidly fulfilled by complaints from those who took it seriously and saw no humor in it. Plus the three commenters who would defend me. One of whom wouldn't be Phil. So... never mind!
For Frank:
  1. Residence in a state that more complements and adorns his magnificence.
  2. Some dirt on Challies, so Frank can be Blog King for Life.
  3. A T-shirt so popular that Wal-Mart buys him out, making him rich and famous, and able to (see #1, above).
  4. A candid photo of J. I. Packer wearing his "Frank Turk Is My Homeboy" T-shirt.
(What's really depressing is knowing our readers will have cleverer ideas. But hey! Starting a good thing is a good thing, too!)

Dan Phillips's signature


Kay said...

You want Phil to work a thirty hour day? That's a bit harsh...

DJP said...

I'm thinking the extra could go to sleep or family-time. Or fishing. Or phishing! Whatever: the man needs more spare time!

Steve said...

Speaking as an editor, I would use those extra six hours a day to edit. I'm guessing Phil would, too.

Perhaps a better wish would be 24-hour days without distraction. You'd be amazed how the little distractions throughout the day (like answering phone calls and emails and leaving comments on Pyromaniacs) disrupt the continuity of thought and time that are so valuable to an editor.

Darlene said...

So true, Steve - but right now he needs to get well! I think his nasty chest cold is now bronchitis!

Mark B. Hanson said...

How about eight 21-hour days a week, so Phil can have an extra day off on his weekends? Of course, they would have to be troll-free days...

4given said...

THIS or THIS for Cent

THIS... which would go along with THIS or in light of all that weird food he's eaten THIS for Phil

THIS or THIS for Dan

THIS for the whole Pyro crew for "all those people you have upset" for writing truth without compromise.

Oh... and THIS for all those times you have no idea how to respond to a troll.

FX Turk said...

The first 3 are sweet, but #4 would be the complete payoff for blogging. Actually, the payoff would be a group photo of Packer, MacArthur, Piper and Dever in a group hug wearing the "5 point conspiracy" t-shirts.

FX Turk said...

Lisa --

As my blog testifies, I already am king and chief of the nut of the month club, and the sarcastic ball wouldn;t last 5 minutes in my house. It's too nice.

Catez said...

For Frank:
A "Where we were right then" photo album.

For Phil: Not that movie (discernment, discernment...)This one:

The Milagro beanfield War

For Dan:
A year's subscription to Chiqita's Teen Beat Bible Zine and Commentary

Merry Christmas!

étrangère said...

Nothing for Pecadillo??

4given said...

Who's Pecadillo???

(Just kidding... last time I heard, he pulled Phil over for being disobedient)

FX Turk said...

Pecadillo sleeps during the day and stays up all night and can't find anything to do in LA.

That's "Los Angeles", not "Louisiana". My guess is that if you gave him a present, he probably couldn't find it.

Taliesin said...

Dan was looking for a game earlier in the year. While Left Behind: Eternal Forces might not meet all of his criteria, it should provide some distraction.

Frank probably already has The Essential Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe, but if not, it would seem to be a near perfect gift.

Every group has one person that is tough to buy for, so Phil has to settle for a gift certificate for so long as the store at Sepulveda and Nordhoff remains off-limits.

Taliesin said...

Poor html coding (or problems with blogger - most likely the former) turned:

Starbucks so long as the store at Sepulveda and Nordhoff remains off-limits.

into the mess above at the end.

Seth McBee said...

I don't know if you guys have seen this but there is someone named "Pilgrim" on Pulpit Live under the post "Why Fight for Truth" that is saying that Grace and MacArthur are now starting to be Purpose Driven...

Might wanna take a look and put this "pilgrim" in his place with these falsities.

FX Turk said...

There's only one guy who can speak for Grace here, and that's Phil. I hear he attends there about 60% of the time when he's not out of town on business.









That's a joke, people. Live a little.

Phil Johnson said...


Thanks for the heads up. I closed that thread and posted a link back to where answers to that guy's allegations have already been given.

Seth McBee said...

Thank you for your attention on the matter...Pastor MacArthur is not my local pastor but I think a lot of us would consider him to be "one" of our pastors no matter where we worship. I can't stand those who make these false claims against a man who I consider to fulfil Jude's exhortation to "contend earnestly for the faith"

Solameanie said...

Funny you should mention the meat chub. I was looking for one today as I am in a bludgeoning mood. (rhetorically, of course!)

But since this is a Christmas gift thread...:))

C.T. Lillies said...

If you gave Martha an extra six hours in the day she'd probably just clean the kitchen again. What he really needs is about three days in a place with zero internet access and spotty cell phone coverage so he can legitimately say "You're breaking up!" whenever someone calls. (Not a week, that would probably ruin someone that busy.)


I don't want to be a downer here but it's probably time for Phil to go to the Doctor. Don't schedule it, or plan it, just go.

"...the word of God is not bound."
--2 Timothy 2:9

Trinian said...

After the number of times that I've heard him passionately pick apart the many dangling threads of that movement, that suggestion is just amusingly ludicrous. People will say anything, won't they.

Al said...

I hope someone gets Frank a clown filter for his blog. The one he has is not working. He might even share it here.

Al sends