19 May 2009

Men, fathers, husbands: under fire from all sides

by Dan Phillips

First, the admission. I imagine that I — a card-carrying male, husband, and father — am more sensitive to the way males, husbands and fathers are regarded. After all, I are one.

Now the musing. An editorial in the Washington Times briefly discusses "Anti-dad bias." At the start, it says that "American television has come a long way from the 1950s series 'Father Knows Best.'" I think the writer was riffing off the title of that series as a bench-mark of a day when fathers were respected and well-regarded. I loved that series as a child, but in fact it leaned in the opposite direction. The father, played by Robert Young (good actor, sad life and wretched religious choice), was portrayed as a well-meaning, bumbling inept. He's been followed by countless other similar portrayals, cut from the same moldy mold.

Here we part from the article, which leaves the general treatment of fathers in our culture to focus on on divorce, child-support payments and visitation issues. But as we pass Mother's Day and head towards Father's Day, my thoughts turn to dear ol' dad.

To say too much too briefly, I think men/husbands/fathers receive very varied treatment in evangelicalism, broadly defined.

On the one extreme you have folks who say, in so many words, that the father (has so much power and responsibility that he) is directly chargeable for everything that goes wrong in the family. He just needs to man up, feel the power, and get 'er done. There! There y'go. Now: on "three": one... two....

As I have argued at some length, I strongly disagree with that viewpoint.

At the other edge are those evanjellybeanicals who are working hard to turn men into women. Men are, pretty much, always wrong, stupid, contemptible — we're told. They'd do so much better if they'd just be more like their wives. I'm not kidding. I remember years ago listening to one of those Family Issues Experts, a man with a national ministry, books, seminars, radio — talking about a trip he took with his wife. Among other things, he'd planned that they spend time together in the Word and praying on their time away.

Well, boy oh boy. He hadn't secured her permission for that activity. And she punished him for it, bad boy that he was. And boy, was he sorry. And he told us all how bad he'd been, so we could all be good boys.

Now you all know by now that I'm not the sort who charts out extremes then picks a place in the middle, but that's where I find myself on this... to some degree. That is, being a man means taking responsibility. But it also means having a certain degree of — boy, is this going to set some people off — delegated and limited authority. God holds him to account, and he tells those for whom the man is to care that they should respect him and subordinate themselves to his leadership (Ephesians 5:22, 24, 33b; 6:1-3).

I think the phrase "servant leadership" has become almost useless. As commonly employed, the first word is used to obliterate the second. But we should remember that the premier example over all possible examples is Jesus Christ (Matthew 20:26-28) — and specifically in Him doing what nobody wanted Him to do! He crossed their wills (no pun), because they needed Him to.

So it's not all about taking a vote and going with the majority, any more than it's all about pounding your chest, doing a Tarzan-yell, and barking out overbearing orders.

So there's Dadhood Today for you. Steady hail of gunfire from both directions. You're too feminized, you need to get your testosterone on and TAKE CHARGE FOR GOD; and you're too brutish and domineering, and you need to become more like... well, more like your wife!

On the subject, I think there are only two kinds: people who recognize it's complicated, and idi... hm, what's the nice word? "The unthoughtful."

HSAT, I of course think it's best to err on the side of taking responsibility.

Illustration: once upon an undatable-by-you time, an unidentifiable-by-you pair of my four kids showed my dear wife a degree of disrespect that appalled me. I learned of this while at work.

On the way home, I bought some food for a meal such as my wife loves. I got home, set Valerie's place with care, called us all to dinner. Made my children stand with me as I seated Valerie with particular honor, and served her. We prayed.

Then I talked with them and explained what was about to happen. I reminded them of what I'd taught them since the cradle about respecting their mother. I told them how appalled and shamed I was by what they'd done (don't let your imagination go nuts; you'd probably think it a small thing — I think it related to homeschooling), and that I would never tolerate such treatment of their mother — ever.

And so, I told them that we would all keep Mom good company as she enjoyed her dinner. I told them they could have water — and that was it.*

And I told them I'd do the same.

Why? I told them that I must somehow have failed to communicate how deadly serious I was in what I'd taught them. So we'd all just let it growl a bit, together.

Did it "take," deeply? God knows. I can say that there was no replay. I did my best to get it across, I prayed it did, and that's about the limit of a mere mortal's abilities (the Dad-as-ominipotent-king group to the contrary notwithstanding).

All that to take a 180-degree turn, and say this:
An excellent wife is the crown of her husband,
but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones
(Proverbs 12:4)
I dearly hope you men regularly shower appreciation on your wives. I hope you used Mother's Day to do it even more. If not, better late than never, while you still can.

I also hope you ladies make your husbands feel like kings regularly, and use Father's Day to do it even more. Because it is also your responsibility to teach (yourself and) your children to honor your husband, their father.

Gentlemen, it is your responsibility to take the lead in showing your children how to honor your wife, their mother (Proverbs 31:28-31). Set the mark high.

Ladies, it is your responsibility to take the lead in showing your children how to honor your husband, their father (Ephesians 5:33b). It starts in your heart. Set the mark high.

*NOTE: No Phillips children were starved (or ever have been) in the teaching of this (or any) lesson. Trust me on this.

Dan Phillips's signature


Rick Frueh said...

"I dearly hope you men regularly shower appreciation on your wives."

Or at the very least, regularly shower. :)

Frank Turk said...

I hate to tell you this, but this is exactly the kind of thing Doug Wilson would say is "owning the sins of our families". This is exactly what he would call "being responsible for the failings of our children."

I think he would honor this post as exactly right, except that in good baptist fashion you have overlooked the covenantal aspects of such talk as represented by the Bible.

BTW, I agree with both of you. Especially the part about children honoring their mother. There are a lot of teachable moments in the life of a family, but when a Dad lets the kids carelessly disrespect Mom, he's simply not doing the work of a good father.

stratagem said...

This is one very good teaching, Dan. From a number of angles. One of your best, I'd say.
I've been lectured a number of times on the "Dad is responsible for everything that goes wrong in the family" bit (from the pulpit - not by my wife!). I often respond with whether they thought Samuel was a failure, since his sons didn't walk in his ways but instead perverted justice?
The part about teaching your kids to respect their mother is an awesome reminder. Thank you.

DJP said...

Well Frank, knowing how highly you regard Wilson, I also know you mean that as a compliment, and I gratefully accept it as such. Thanks.

But I certainly am not saying what I understand Wilson to say, and what I've read him saying. If it sounds that way, either he or I is (are? am?) not writing as clearly as we should.

And I will continue to try hard to "overlook" what isn't in the text. If that's a Baptist thing, then bring on the Baptisticity.


Aric said...

I would like to say, "Great post Dan. Thank you for challenging me to care for and nurture my wife!" However, I am at work and forgot to ask my wife's permission to post today.

Maybe I can email her to get permission . . . she never said anything about not doing that . . . .

donsands said...

Great post. Thanks.

I never knew that about Robert Young. Sad indeed.

I thought Ward Cleaver was a pretty cool dad.

Hadassah said...

Great post! No fire from this wife and mother. Yes,the issue can be complicated, but it is also pretty clear.

I find it is usually sin that gets in the way and complicates things.

Dave .... said...

Owning their sins or owning our own ministry? The home is your first church and your family is your primary flock. We shepherd first at home. It makes the idea of the believing wife (1 Cor. 9:5) and children who believe (Titus 1:6, homage to Frank) substantial criterea for eldership. Sow and reap. Check a man's harvest by looking at his home and family.

In humility ...

Frank Turk said...


Those Presbyterians are crazy, yo.


DJP said...

Well... yeah!

SandMan said...

Your lesson to your children showed great wisdom (IMO)... An object lesson instead of a lecture... hmm... novel idea. I hope and pray that (as a dad of 2 young ones) that God will grant me that type of wisdom as we encounter these types of issues along the way (God knows we will since they come from my genes-- my poor mom...)

I also appreciate the reminder and challenge to be showing my wife continually (not just Mother's Day) how wonderful I think she is and how grateful I am to God for her. You all don't know her, but she is incredible and does a tough job (stay at home momming) with grace and patience like you haven't seen.

Gotta go call her now.

Kristine said...

Nicely written.

It's a complex issue and as with everything God lays upon our hearts to ponder and apply daily from His word, it takes a willingness to invest our time and energy into discerning His will in the matter.

Red and Black Redneck said...

Excellent and timely post. I am currently re-reading Douglas Wilson's Future Men and have been pondering several of the same issues addressed here.

It seems to me there is another evanjellybeanical way of dealing with men which is the hyper-masculine, go out in the woods and beat a drum sillyness. This is the way I read "Wild At Heart" et al. Perhaps I misread it. That also seems to be the erroneous conclusion reached in "Why Men Hate Going To Church" by David Murrow.

Red and Black Redneck said...

I just noticed my wife posted above. I guess there will be no surprise when I, along with the children, ask forgiveness tonight for our rather shabby treatment of her at suppertime: i.e. abandonment at the table.

DJP said...

Yep. Phil has very effectively targeted that line. Good point.

UinenMaia said...

One of the manifold ways I knew that my choice of a church was right was a three-fold observation about the men there. First, there were men there ... in abundance. Secondly, they were respected from the pulpit, by each other, by their wives, and by their children. Thirdly, they showed honor towards their wives and demonstrated love to their wives and children.

I was looking for sound doctrine. Finding that was confirmation that the doctrine ran deeper than just a words.

DJP said...

That's a great thing.

The Squirrel said...

Dan, great post and so... so... evenhanded.


Red and Black: Go, Dawgs!

~Squirrel (who's parents are both UGA alums)

Phil Johnson said...

Good stuff.

I gotta make some new graphics.

Andrew Faris said...


You woman-hating fool! You are mysoginistic twit stuck in the 17th century! How can you even possibly pretend that either sex has more "authority" than the other??? In fact, I think it's time women got a little extra authority, just to make up for all the ways we Christians have treated them wrongly for awhile...

Just kidding.

Great post, and a good reminder to me to honor my wife when she gets home from work this evening. So, many thanks for that.


Steve B said...

Great post. My wife and I banned the words "Just Kidding" from our marriage early on because we were both able to see how much damage those two little words can do.

Saying hurtful things, even if you are 'just kidding' is still hurtful.

This is a great reminder about what a lifelong example we need to be setting for our children in how to treat our spouse. It's what they will grow up to expect/accept in a relationship. That is quite a heavy burden to bear!

Truth Unites... and Divides said...

"Men, fathers, husbands: under fire from all sides"

To stop the firing from all sides, just become egalitarian.


DJP said...

Then you come under fire from people who do believe the Bible.

Barbara said...

Yes, UM, that's what I'm surrounded by in the church I just joined a few months ago. At 40+, having grown up in an egalitarian church, and having been divorced for a decade and a half, to see actual loving, godly marriages - I'd never seen it before in my life. It's a beautiful thing to see, that that actually exists.

I do believe there is a stronger force behind society's insistence on blurring the lines and destroying the order and design created by God in the capabilities and purposes of men and women and their roles in marriage, family, and in church life. Before God saved me, I had reached the point where I no longer saw what purpose men had in this world at all. From where I stood, they were just insistend on being big kids, had been nothing but a source of trouble for me, could not be counted on, and were more concerned with living out extended adolescences and being "a guy" rather than being a man. As a result, I took care of everything that I needed, and seeing no need to take on another kid, I considered whether men in society were simply making themselves obsolete through their egos and irresponsibility, leaving us to take care of things, knowing that we will step up to the plate when they back down from it. There's actually a school of thought that goes along with that, "psychological evolution" or some similar name, I don't remember right away. But that is the kind of thing that happens in an egalitarian society. Certain things do evolve when left to their own rather than submitted to God, and that's one of them. Eugenics is another. It's almost as if the enemy wants to create a master race of Amazon women simply because it does run counter to the Divine order of things. Certainly seems to be where secular society is headed, and even many so-called churches that now teach and preach a feminine version of God. If that's not a setup for full-blown paganism within the church... I hear the hiss all over it.

So it is refreshing to see and hear the life of Christ and to have examples of the truth of His grand design lived out in community and families around me. While as a divorced woman I may not be able to partake in that for myself, it is something that helps me as "just a young-un" in Christ to learn more of Him through those examples. And that gives me hope for my own kids (late teens) as well. True Biblical manhood is worth fighting for and taking the fire for. Keep it up. The women of the church need your shepherding.

- Barbara (who is in Georgia and has a decorated UGA tree to her right as she types this)

David said...

It always comes back to living out the implications of the gospel. If I resent my wife, I give a picture of Christ resenting the church. If I ignore my wife, I give a picture of Christ ignoring the church. If I love my wife, uphold my wife, provide for my wife, talk to my wife, pray for my wife, well, there's a better picture for my whole family. And probably a happier wife, too.

Barbara said...

...I should add, that the world needs the salt and light of that as well. Truly.

Truth Unites... and Divides said...

"Then you come under fire from people who do believe the Bible."Heh, heh. Um, heh, heh, um, there are Egalitarians, who you well know, will staunchly claim that they believe the Bible too.

DJP said...

Yeah. You can teach a parrot to say he's a cheeseburger, too. Doesn't make him one.

The Squirrel said...

< insert comment about Dan's post here, to stay on topic >

lol- my daughter just walked by... wearing a UGA Bulldogs t-shirt. (No, I didn't dress her this morning... she's 18)



JOYce ~♥~ said...

Loved it Dan ~ love it. Right down to it starts in your heart. Shared the post with my husband ~ how timely all, even the lesson due to the disrespect of mum. Thanks ~

Sir Aaron said...


you can partially thank the feminism movement for the deterioration of men. If you require nothing of men, why would you think they would give you anything? Why would I get a job, provide for a family, or do anything but play video games all day if women will gladly fulfill my sexual desires and my parents will gladly feed me (and if not, I can rent a room and live on snacks). This is what feminism has done.

Truth Unites... and Divides said...

"Yeah. You can teach a parrot to say he's a cheeseburger, too. Doesn't make him one."Heh, heh. What say thee about Professor Roger Nicole who's a 5-point Calvinist and an original signer to the Chicago Statement on Biblical Inerrancy, AND who also fully supports egalitarianism as exposited by Christians for Biblical Equality.

Isn't he an example of an Egalitarian who would staunchly say that he believes the Bible too?

Sir Aaron said...

So Dan, your kids did not go to bed without dinner that night?

I find myself to be the unfortunate disciplinarian in my household. Daddy just has a much lower tolerance for nonsense. And if I say punishment is coming...it is always a certainty. A couple weeks ago, my 2.5 year daughter was having issues with getting out of bed after bedtime. She was getting books out to read when she was supposed to be sleeping. I yelled upstairs that she better be in bed when I got there. She didn't make it (she couldn't get the books put away fast enough) and I opened the door she was panicked. It was pretty funny.

Also, there is one major advantage to making sure your kids respect their moms. It sure as heck makes things easier to get done around the house. If you want things done orderly, your kids have to follow orders from mom. the last thing I need when I get home is to do all the chores because its bedtime and nothing got done.

DJP said...

Well, TUAD, I'd say it's another example of your unfortunate and annoying fondness for taking absolutely any post on absolutely any topic and using it to try to put two people in a room and get them to fight for you.

Beyond that, I've nothing to add to what I've said.

DJP said...

Sir AaronSo Dan, your kids did not go to bed without dinner that night?

They (and I) went to bed without a bite.

Truth Unites... and Divides said...

Hyperbole. In the use of the word "absolutely."

Simply pointing out that there are egalitarians who staunchly claim that they believe the Bible too. Which is addressing the content of the mini-discussion. Not a non-sequitur into a discussion of the arguer.

Beyond that, I've nothing to add to what I've said.

Barbara said...

Sir Aaron, no argument there. But again - it all comes down from both sides, from both genders not being humbled before God, not approaching their roles biblically and lovingly with and from the heart of Christ. Not to get into a he said/she said kind of a thing,because that is not my intention, but many women who would otherwise pray for a godly man to lead them and their family feel threatened by a requirement to be subjected to someone who cannot be trusted. I believe it to be a vicious cycle, but in either case, it still comes down to the flesh, and that comes from a very old enemy of God and His creation, most especially of His people, so that those who bear the image of God become militantly engaged in destroying that very image. And the demons sit back and laugh. Feminism, the feminization of men and the masculinization of women, be it based on a sense of need or a sense of want, is still a matter of walking in the flesh and walking by sight. If we cut through the veneer, we can see and hear the serpent in the garden saying, "hath God said...?" "Ye shall be as gods....".

And the only answer is, as David so aptly pointed out, the living out of the Gospel. Not just in the context of the family and home, but in the context of every place in our lives in this broken, lost, and dying world. Salt and light.

Gary said...

"Simply pointing out that there are egalitarians who staunchly claim that they believe the Bible too. "

Them, along with all the Mormons...

Sir Brass said...

Good post, dan.

I'll admit, I could be a little brat while growing up.....and I was not allowed to get away with it.

If I disrespected my mother, the person I was afraid of wasn't her (primarilly), but my FATHER when he heard about it, and he'd hear about it (mom would tell him).

He didn't do anything as creative as you did, but oh BOY did the point come across that I NEVER, EVER, EVER disrespect my mother. And his tongue lashing and discipline always left me feeling incredibly guilty (and not because I'd been caught, but because I'd been an absolute wretch to my poor mother). Good lessons learned.

I made sure several years ago to tell them both that they'd been RIGHT.

For all their faults as fallen people, my parents definitely did a good job of parenting.

David said...

Sir Aaron, a couple of pictures popped into my mind when I read your post.

When Jesus opens the door, do we panic?

Is it easier to get things done when we respect Jesus' bride?

Good things to chew on.

David said...


My wife and I were members of CBE when we got married. I bought into it.

But it's not the truth. There's too much scripture that has to be explained away through modern scholarship about what Paul was really trying to say. And the unbelievers that I tried to explain these things to said, "So Paul wasn't really saying what he was saying? Genesis isn't really saying what it's saying?" The unbelievers could see it better than I did. They were just more honest in their rejection.

Fortunately, God's word is powerful and effective, even over a long course of time. And Jesus died for egalitarians too.

Rachael Starke said...

Your dinner story reminded me of a similar incident I had recently with my own girls after a protracted bout of refusal to do their evening chores. I was completely out of ideas until I remembered 2 Thessalonians 3:10. I gave them one more warning of what would happen, and then, boom. Instead of dinner, bed.

Surround sound wailing about starvation and sorrow ensued.

And the chore-doing went amazingly smoothly from then on.

Thanks for the reminder that honoring ones parents is yet another thing that has to be taught and caught.

Truth Unites... and Divides said...

"And TUAD,

My wife and I were members of CBE when we got married. I bought into it."

Hi David,

I'm not an egalitarian. Never have been since learning what the complementarian-egalitarian issue was all about.

I simply try and represent the other side's arguments as accurately and fairly as I can, so that they would say that I have understood and represented their arguments to their satisfaction (even if I staunchly disagree with them), so that I won't be accused of creating a strawman or caricature of their arguments.

Being a biblical Christian requires me to honestly state that egalitarians staunchly claim that they believe the Bible too.


David said...

Cool. And having been one who made those arguments myself, I can attest to their falsehood in theory and practice.

Boerseuntjie said...

A Word much needed to us all in famlies (I.e. anybody with parents).

Thanks Dan,

I need to print and keep this somewhere visible!

Solameanie said...

Let me share a story about how a relative learned to respect his mother. This took place in Arkansas back in the days when parents still disciplined.

My maternal great grandmother picked up a switch to give a hiding to my great uncle, who at the time was around twelve, maybe a bit older. He took the switch away from her, broke it, and then ran. She hollered after him, "That's all right young man, I'll get you in the end."

The day went on and all was forgotten until bedtime. My great uncle went to bed and eventually dropped off to sleep. My great grandmother waited for her moment, then went in and tied him up in the bedsheets until he couldn't move, and then she took a new switch and proceeded to whale the stuffing out of him.

He never crossed her again.

UinenMaia said...

DJP - Yes, actually, it is great.
The church is not perfect, naturally, but it is centered on the Scriptures. That makes a world of difference.

Barbara - I'm only about 5-10 years behind you and grew up in the same environment. I keep having this feeling that I'm a fish who just discovered water for the first time. "Oh this wet stuff, that everyone warned me about? You mean that's how it is supposed to be? And here I always thought I was just crazy for thinking so..."

Thankfully, this has allowed my husband to take on the "servant-leader" role that comes naturally to him without either of us having to excuse our "abnormal" complimentarian behavior.

Praise God, indeed, from whom all blessings flow.

sem said...

Dan, when did you institute the Fairness Doctrine? I must have missed that.

In my church, Mother's Day has always been 'Oh Moms are so great, we honor you, here's a packet of lovely flower seeds.' Father's Day is usually, 'Come on guys, man up. Here's a book on how to do a better job'. But this year was different. This year, Moms got the hammer, and a book. It was beautiful. I can't speak for other women, but I'd much rather have a punch in the gut than a pat on the hand. I'm hoping this means that this year that Dads will actually get a sermon honoring them for a change, and maybe some golf tees.

DJP said...

...or dry flies.

Hear, hear.

Sir Brass said...

Dry flies for every father!

Now that will get you votes from the outdoorsmen :P.

sem said...

Anything but the dreaded flavor of the month "man (up) book".

Btw, Fairness Doctrine was in reference to the attempts, in the meta, to share the other side. You know. Just to be fair.

Chris said...


You nailed this one!!!!! As you say about yourself, I've noticed as well that you are not one to simply find a comfy place between two extremes...merely for the sake of finding such a place to reside. However, I could not agree more with your middle stance on this subject, as I'm sitting right there next to you...as a father and husband myself! I've just e-mailed my wife, telling her to give this excellent post a read!

Mark B. Hanson said...

At my previous church the pastor undertook the same task one year - challenge the mothers and honor the fathers. A couple of the fathers were almost in tears afterward...

We also asked ourselves, what kind of gift would a father want after church? Certainly not a rose. The answer: a cold beer. So we passed out iced cans of Dad's Root Beer.

Sir Aaron said...


When Jesus opens the door, do we panic?

David, I have sinned and continue to sin. And unfortunately, I occasionally get spanked for it. And I assure you, that if I were in the middle of doing something I knew I shouldn't be doing and Jesus annouced his arrival was imminent, I'd most definately be in a state of panic.

Is it easier to get things done when we respect Jesus' bride?


Rachael: There is one truism that I have learned about discipline. Nip disobedience in the bud with extreme prejudice and you find that you don't need to continually discipline in the future.

Dan: You are a rock of an example! I would have snuck a snack after the kids went to bed.

Mark B. Hanson said...

strategem said: "I've been lectured a number of times on the 'Dad is responsible for everything that goes wrong in the family' bit... I often respond with whether they thought Samuel was a failure, since his sons didn't walk in his ways but instead perverted justice?"

And what about David? His sin with Bathsheba cost him the lives of four of his sons, and his other son Solomon was no great example either. And yet he is the "man after God's own heart", and the paragon of a Godly king. How deep does God's forgiveness run!

Oh, and Barbara - your "I hear the hiss all over it" almost caused me to splut. Great line!

Chad V. said...

MeanieNow I know where you got your name.

farmboy said...

Regarding the incident you recounted with your children, my son knows that the quickest way for him to find himself in heap big trouble is to treat his mom, my wife, with disrespect. Given this, I can identify with the incident you recounted and how you handled things. I regularly tell my wife that it was a privilege and honor to stand before God, our families and friends, and the greater community on our wedding day and promise to love, honor and cherish her until death brings us apart.

When one looks at how greater culture and the church have went to great efforts to mold and shape fathers and fatherhood, it can only point to the importance of fathers and fatherhood. Why devote so much effort to mold and shape an insignificant actor playing an insignificant role?

Look how often Scripture refers to God as Father. Children are to make sense of and understand God by metaphorically looking to their earthly fathers. To the extent that Satan can succeed in distorting fathers and fatherhood, he succeeds in distorting this metaphor. Just look at how many children have an earthly father that bears no semblance to God the Father. One can make a similar argument for husbands properly loving their wives as a metaphor for helping us understand how Christ loves the Church, or in an Old Testament context, one can look at the seriousness of marital infidelity as a metaphor for idol worship, or theological infidelity.

The roles that husbands and fathers play are of critical, eternal importance. That's why husbands and fathers and the roles they play continue to attract the attention of greater culture and the church.

Regarding the church, it's possible to hold Scripture in high regard yet fail to understand what it teaches. That's why - without placing human tradition above Scripture - interpreting Scripture cannot be an individual exercise. One needs to hold his interpretation of Scripture up to the interpretations of God fearing men down through the ages.

Julius Mickel said...

I was recently blessed by this message from Voddie Baucham concerning biblical headship (hope this can add to this, well actually hope this can challenge and bless us)

I believe we are accountable to the extent of faithfulness to the commands of God, despite our culture.
I do believe men show a major disconnect with their words and theology when they don't fight for doctrine within the home (nuturing their wives and children with the word). Something I made a video about on Youtube (i won't post the link but if curious search for it :)

Herding Grasshoppers said...


Love. That. Story.


Steve B said...

So what's the Godly/Biblical answer when the wife continually treats the father with disrespect?

When no matter how much you do, it's always about what you didn't do?

When she establishes her "authority" by brow beating her husband in front of her children, consciously or unconsciously showing them who's "boss?"

What is the true, Biblical Christian man's response to this supposed to be?

In all seriousness.

Anonymous said...

Great post, DJP. Ditto that.

(Oh...it's git 'er done).

donsands said...

"..when the wife continually treats the father with disrespect?"

I use a ball and chain.

Just kidding.

I would guess that the father would have to trust and obey, and do a lot of praying, and go to your pastor and elders with the wife.
Perhaps hook the wife up with some godly wives in your church.

Anonymous said...

The statement above about servant leadership rightly identifies a need to find something more comprehensive than servant leadership. Biblical stewardship is that something. Stewards don't empower others as Greenleaf's idea of servant leadership suggests. Instead, they serve a master and recognize their chief end is to point others to the master they serve.

Leroy Hurt