16 May 2013

How not to grow: marriage edition

by Dan Phillips

In my ongoing series on marriage, the Bible, and you, I came to a point of pivot recently. Having laid the foundation somewhat extensively, I'd just taught for several classes with a focus on singles approaching marriage, and considering how even to make the decision. Now I was about to turn to address wives, then husbands, with specific Scriptural teaching.

So in turning to this section I felt it important to lay down some ground-rule guidelines dealing with how to listen to the classes to come. After all, first husbands would be listening to a series of lessons focusing on their wives; then those roles would reverse. So in preparing for that, I expounded a preventative list of ways to prevent spiritual growth. Here's that list:

1.        Focus on what your spouse is doing wrong (Rom. 14:10-12; 2 Cor. 5:10)
2.        Make your obedience to Christ depend on his/hers (cf. Gen. 3:11-12)
3.        Keep the focus on statistic equality (previous Scriptures; cf. Prov. 28:13)
4.        Isolate marriage from the rest of your Christian life (1 Cor. 10:31)
5.        Be a fool (Prov. 9:7-8; 10:17; 12:1, 15; 17:10; 29:1)

And here's the class.

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15 comments:

Terry Rayburn said...

Excellent. Serious wisdom there.

Newlyweds or soon-to-weds, don't learn these the hard way. Believe them.

DJP said...

One-star hater hates this.

Thomas said...

Those ground rules could proceed almost any sermon. It's the old elbow the guy next to you and say hes talking about you.

DJP said...

Yes, Thomas, but if you happen to listen to how I expand on #4 you'll see there's a particular application for Christian marrieds.

threegirldad said...

One-star hater hates this.

Shocking...

Webster Hunt (Parts Man) said...

I feel an internet meme coming soon for one-star hater....

Larry Geiger said...

"3. Keep the focus on statistic equality (previous Scriptures; cf. Prov. 28:13)"

One-star hater hates this.

Webster Hunt (Parts Man) said...

Larry, since one star hater hates a negative, does that mean he actually likes the post? You know like double negatives?

Eric said...

"One-star hater hates this."

Uh Oh

Eric said...

If I always say "good post" does that make me a fanboy? 'Cause I gather that to be a pejorative term.

Good post Dan. Time and time again I need to remind myself of what selflessness looks like in the context of my marriage, and it doesn't look like that list. Number 6 for me would be: Always win the discussion (argument).

Thanks for an edifying post that hits home with my sins of pride and selfishness.

Tom Chantry said...

No, see, not "Uh-Oh" - Uh Oh only comes once a week. Neither Uh Oh nor OSH could possibly be less then accurate.

Michael Coughlin said...

Thanks, I'll be making this required study for my wifey.

David Carlson said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Robert said...

Great post, Dan. This always seems to be the foundation of marital problems among Christians...a focus on convicting the spouse instead of being convicted yourself. If we are really keeping God first, it will be hard to look past the mirror for who needs improvement.

On a side note, I wouldn't put it past one of MD's "fanboys" to be OSH. It fits with the level of maturity he displays.

DJP said...

Were I absolutely forced to make a guess, I'd say it's someone we banned. I know for a fact that we live on rent-free in at least some of their heads.