How to attract (or distract) a congregation

Your weekly Dose of Spurgeon


The PyroManiacs devote some space each weekend to highlights from the lifetime of works from the Prince of Preachers, Charles Haddon Spurgeon.  The following excerpt is from The Sword and the Trowel, August, 1883, Pilgrim Publications.

"If you want to know how to distract a congregation, you have only to go to the great drum-thumping establishments, and hear for yourself how noise can be glorified." 

Outside of those emporiums instruments of brass are in full blast, with their still small voices proclaiming peace on earth, good will toward men. To put it more plainly, the age of the tin-kettle and the banjo has arrived, and with these weapons of our warfare the strong-holds of evil are to be thrown down. 

In certain districts the Sabbath is made hideous, the streets are rendered dangerous, and quiet is banished, in the name of the Lord Jesus, and with the view of attracting the masses to Him. The design is admirable, the method intolerable. Among our natural rights and liberties there is one which is in some danger in these turbulent days, and that is the right of occasionally being free from the banging of drums and the blaring of trumpets in the open streets. 

A contemporary has been asked: “Can a man belong to a brass band and be a Christian?” It replies, “We see no impediment in the way; but if he is a member of a brass band, and is given to practicing on his cornet or trombone at home, it is an impossibility for the man next door to be a Christian.” 

This verdict is one in which I heartily coincide, only I extend it a little further, and include the equal difficulty of displaying a Christian temper when Salvation Bands go banging through the streets day after day. A tremendous noise is one way of attracting a congregation; but whether or not it is one which Jesus and his apostles would have followed, I leave to be decided by those best able to judge. 

The other day we read in an official report, “Brass band better than ever: thirteen blowing salvation through their instruments.” If this be so, let them blow till all is blue: it is not for us to rail at sounding brass if it has indeed become a channel of salvation. Blow by all means. If any of you judge that this is your high calling, pursue it ardently; and if outraged humanity should pelt you with mud and rotten eggs, do not reckon that a strange thing has happened unto you. 

If you should also create about twice as much blasphemy as religious feeling, do not be surprised: if your course of action should bring ridicule on all religion, and educate the mob in the art of rioting, which they may use by-and-by with unexpected results, do not marvel. If you conceive this to be your line of usefulness, listen to no advice; reckon all who differ from you as your enemies; become martyrs; and go forward like good soldiers, so long as leather and brass hold out.

Only be prepared for contingencies. Suppose the big drum and the tambourine should cease to charm, what next? What else is to be done? Will you stand on our head? Hornpipes have been tried; will you try the tight-rope? cannot suggest to you a novelty—since we have already heard of Brummagem Bruisers, devil-dodgers, converted clog-dancers, etc. 

No, I cannot continue the list, for it must include several profane titles if it become at all complete; and, above all, and worst of all, it must needs contain those blasphemous insults to the eternal and incommunicable name which arise out of the desecration of the word “hallelujah.” It only occurs to me to suggest the question—Might it not be possible to be a little less vulgar, and so to create variety without extreme exertion? It might be a novelty to some people to conduct a meeting in which there should be no slang;—let it be attempted.