27 December 2007

In the interim...

by Dan Phillips

...while we're all waiting to hear from Phil and Frank...

CHRISTMAS EVE PIZZA!

First, I craft it of the dough my wife makes.

Then I pop it in the oven. This year, I made a second pizza for my youngest boys, who don't share my love for all-you-can-pile-on topping.

Then out it comes. You may note that one half features God's good gifts of olives and mushrooms, while the other is crafted for "weaker brethren" (or, in this case, sistren).


Not, I think, my thickest pizza. But we ate it, and thanked God for His blessings.


Hope you all had a Merry Nativity!


Dan Phillips's signature

43 comments:

Paul said...

What's the weight on that pie?

By the looks of it, I'd say 15lbs.

DJP said...

In my dreams. Though that may be what I gained, eating my portion.

Johnny Dialectic said...

Olives are of the devil, Dan.

Get behind me.

DJP said...

I'll pray for you.

Jerry said...

I'm a thin crust guy myself. Just some sun dried tomatoes and other light fare.

wordsmith said...

Instead of cookies, do you leave a slice of pizza for Santa?

No wonder he has a weight problem!

P.S. Face the truth, Dan - Olives are of the Devil. They certainly weren't in the Garden, since God created everything good.

DJP said...

You think all the oil in the Bible was Wesson oil, then?

You poor, poor people.

pastorbrianculver said...

Do you deliver?

Paul said...

Next year...stuffed crust?

JustJan said...

Thin crust pizza is an oxymoron. A cracker with sauce and cheese doesn't make it a pizza. I know it's hugely popular in New York, but that doesn't excuse it.

Peregrina said...

For those of us who are lamenting the post-Christmas tightening of the clothing...this post is painful...and making my mouth water!

beachbirdie said...

Yummy!

The rest of you guys are making a serious mistake. Olives are one of the great gifts to the world. Is not olive oil the golden anointing liquid? The stuff of the Maccabee's miracles?

It is MUSHROOMS that are the devil's fruit. Does not the knowledge that they grow hidden in dark, dank, stinky places tell you *something*?

centuri0n said...

You heartless thug. Now I have to have pizza for lunch. :-(

And Christ condemned the olive tree for failing to bear fruit out of season. Because olives are God's favorite fruit, and they're a good indicator of who is grafted in and who is just a weed tangled in the field among the wheat.

And don't tell me I mixed my metaphor. Who can't eat an olive on a pizza? I'm flabbergasted. Gobsmacked.

centuri0n said...

I can't believe this post brings out all the haters. No mushrooms? Are you crazy?

That's like christmas without Sa... oh nevermind.

Dan: what do these people think are going to be served at the wedding feast of the Bridegroom? White bread and unsalted butter?

PHEH!

Sharon said...

Fellow Fungus Haters, Unite!

Extra-thick crust, heaps of Italian Sausage, gobs of cheese and extra olives--the only edible pizza on earth.

Johnny Dialectic said...

You people who put olives and mushrooms on your pizza, probably put ketchup on your hot dogs. Talk about pagan practices...

centuri0n said...

I'm closing the thread before we move from mere impiety to rank blasphemy ...

Paul said...

Everyone knows you put mayo on hot dogs!

[No, I'm not Canadian]

steve said...

But are we absolutely certain DJP used olives and mushrooms?

Connie said...

Our family thought of TeamPyro Christmas Eve as we ordered and carried-out a commercially made pizza pie of Canadian bacon and pineapple!!

I would have made one from scratch, but we all were exhausted from clearing the fallen tree branches/limbs in our yard--courtesy of the great "2007 Ice Storm". :-)

Shannon said...

Dan - I am ABSOLUTELY impressed with your pizza making abilities, and in spite of our past disagreements, wouldn't turn down an offer to try out, in the flesh, your pizza making abilities one day. Man, that looks good!

SolaMeanie said...

Olives are primarily intended for fishing sinkers, or in extremis can be used in place of Syrup of Ipecac.

Mushrooms are like chewing on old pencil erasers. Why people relish eating fungus amongus is beyond me.

Now, if you had limited things to cheese, tomato, pepperoni, Canadian bacon, sausage, onion and green pepper, we'd have something in which to indulge. But to each his own. I think you should call your creation the Dan-wood Bumstead pizza.

DJP said...

Yeah, but only people who are REALLY REALLY OLD would get that.

wordsmith said...

Olives are nasty; just ask my dd. When she was a tot, we went to a restaurant where whole black olives were included in the salad. She wanted to taste one, thinking they were grapes. She most definitely did not appreciate the horrible-tasting "grape."

She doesn't like 'shrooms, either, but that's because her tastebuds are still immature.

P.S. Dan, are you saying you must be "REALLY, REALLY OLD" since you got the Dagwood reference?

SolaMeanie said...

I bet you're older than I am, Dan. ;) A gentleman's bet, of course.

DJP said...

Really really well-read.

Yeah... that's the ticket.

Strong Tower said...

Can we get the pizza dough recipe?

Gilbert said...

Weaker brethren. Pheh. You folks aren't from Chicago. We here know our pizza. OK, New York, runner up. :-)

Pastor Brian...

Wrong question. "Do you deliver"? No, no, a thousand times no, the real question is:

"When are we invited"? :-)

Yet another olive discourse that causes controversy...

Gilbert said...

Favorite pizza: cheese and sausage only, but EXTRA on both. So much that it takes two hands or else it causes a major, major shirt accident.

BTW, I heard in Ottawa, CN they are going to offer transit riders unlimited free pizza to switch away from using cars.

Now, the real question: how does a 3 pound pizza cause one to gain 10 pounds?

beachbirdie said...

Ketchup? Heavenly days...ketchup is for *scrambled eggs*.

DJP said...

Most. Divisive. Post. Ever.

Fred Butler said...

If you look real close, you can see an image of Mary burned into the pizza.

DJP said...

I was waiting for someone to find a dispensational chart in the pizza.

SolaMeanie said...

Does the Italian nuance of a pizza lend itself to the possibility that Dan Phillips is thinking about going home to Rome? I certainly hope not. If that is the case, me thinks he should head to the nearest bagel store forthwith.

Sorry. I couldn't help this jibe after someone brought up seeing an image of Mary in the crust. I would hate for an innocent post of Dan's to lead to a fourth message of Fatima.

Jason said...

Who is to say what is the best pizza? I grow tired of all these claims that we can know what is best. Personally, I prefer to put the toppings below the cheese so that we can maintain an element of mystery, which is so important in how we experience this journey we are on together called life.

On a more serious note, I'd like to invite anyone who is struggling with a larger waistline this season to check this ministry out.

Gilbert said...

I have never seen a comment thread where I have laughed out loud and so often.

Funniest. Comment. Thread. Almost. Ever.

SolaMeanie said...

Okay, Jason. Now you've done it.

Toppings for the best postmodern pizza...any suggestions?

(Sola runs for the nearest fallout shelter)

wordsmith said...

How can you be sure that any pizza could qualify as "best"? I mean, that just sounds so arrogant.

Timotheos said...

Recipe??

Inquiring minds want to know!!

Timotheos said...

Why is it that the comment best reminds me of the movie Elf when Elf arrives in the city and walks in to a restaurant that advertised the 'Best Coffee in the World' and congratulated them on a job well done.

Guess it's because I watched too many Christmas movies with the kids, eh?

Strong Tower said...

Best, best describes the best. Man, you could taste the picture.

Go to the next thread and those before *mas.

that's where you'll find a discussion of the same type as the Elf scene diner, where the truth is only in the advertisement.

You have to appreciate Elf though and the writer's humor, "Congratulations, you finally made it...way to go!" or something like that...

Now if you were an Elf and stepped into the weird world of doctrinal dyfunctionalism, you might just believe anything, and if you were used to adding a gallon of syrup to your cup of coffee, it wouldn't matter that it tasted like used cleaning solution.

Gilbert said...

New meta category:

Merciless pizza.

:-D

DJP said...

LOL

Or "merciless toppings"?