13 June 2012

Responses to Phil Johnson's Retirement

by Frank Turk

 Meanwhile, in the offices of the Evangelical Movement ...

 



110 comments:

Steve said...

I guess that settles it. Hitler was a Christian.

Bobby Grow said...

That was hilarious, Frank!

Steve Talas said...

That was so funny I nearly had to change underwear.

Scott said...

That is priceless....

Ed Gordineer said...

Do you replace Prince Charming with the Seven Dwarves? LOL!!!

Kevin Sorensen said...

"Great post."



No, seriously though. Absolutely hilarious. Just when I think I couldn't laugh at another Hitler video, you come up with this. And thanks for the humble self-deprecation, Frank. I know you won't disappoint us (and you can take that however you want!).

Jeremiah Halstead said...

That was hilarious... just when I thought I had seen everything hitler could throw a tantrum at...

Puritan Physicist said...

Is Phil supposed to be flattered by this portrayal of Hitler defending his blogging ministry? ;-)

Tom Chantry said...

...just when I thought I had seen everything hitler could throw a tantrum at...

I don't know; I'm waiting for the Hitler tantrum parody in which Hitler throws a tantrum about people parodying his tantrums.

Frank Turk said...

To really understand this video, you have to understand Godwin's Law. If you don't know what Godwin's Law, plainly you have access to the internet. Use it for good.

Pastor Jody said...

The Arminians were right.....apparently we Calvinists ARE a group of fanatics that were secretly part of a Nazi conspiracy supported by Hitler! I KNEW IT!!!!!

Nash Equilibrium said...

Schickelgruber! Gesundheit!

Frank, you are definitely a menace who must be stopped.

candy said...

Sooooooo... bloggers like Sola Sisters, Ken Silva, Todd Friel, Voddie, Thabiti, Carl Trueman, Cripplegate, James White, just to name a few voices in the wilderness, who don't have clever graphics, and aren't "big name" bloggers (except for a couple) don't count as voices in the wilderness? There is only Dan and Frank left to steer the boat? I think a shout out should go to many of them for faithfully addressing many of the same issues. Phil will be missed for his personality, character, articulate way of writing, balance of seriousness and humor, and we should be able to say our farewells without being reminded that he wrote the fewest posts and that we still have you all to lean on in these tough times. Thankful for all of you, but the personality of the blog is mainly Phil, who created it after all...so let us have our moment of separation anxiety before the baton is passed for goodness sakes!

Frank Turk said...

Candy --

An interesting approach to this video. More interesting is the response of those you listed to Phil's announcement - which perhaps isn't as unsympathetic as you are to the vacuum Phil is leaving.

Jesse said...

I have a Phil shaped hole in my blog, for sure. The "it's not your fault, you always commented" was by far my favorite scene. Thanks Frank.

Doulos Christou said...

Classic!

Tom Chantry said...

OK folks, just so we're clear: Frank's decision to go with a Hitler Tantrum Parody on today's post indicates a completely serious and solemn approach to Phil's retirement. Any irony or humor which you discern is purely of your own imagining. Clearly, every word of this video must be treated as a part of the honest, straightforward commentary for which it was intended.

That is all.

Curt said...

"Meanwhile, in the offices of the Evangelical Movement ..." LOL!!! That was the most amazing video I've ever seen! I can't stop laughing and crying!!!

DJP said...

I can't remember the last time I laughed as hard as when Frank first showed me this. I just about lost my voice; if anyone had been in the church building, he'd've thought I'd lost my mind. Absolutely hysterical. Best use of Hitler clip EVAR.

candy said...

I am very sympathetic to the vacuum Phil is leaving. I will totally miss his voice more than you can imagine. But...his leaving does not just leave you and Dan to carry on...there are many other blogs that have taken up the fight as well. They should get a bit of credit too.

olan strickland said...

I have a few choice words for this parody:
1. Hilarious!
2. Uber hilarious!

I am glad I wasn't drinking my coffee when I watched this. This may be funnier than the Batman spoof that I used to watch and re-watch just for laughs.

Greg Wilson said...

I was pretending to be working, but when I laughed out loud my secretary got suspicious.

Nash Equilibrium said...

Yes there are other Christian blogs out there - but none quite as good as this one.

Frank Turk said...

Chantry: Don't be ironic with me. This is a crisis. I would laugh except I think I'm going to pass out from Fear.

Big-"F" Fear.

Mr. Fosi said...

Good thing I'm in the lab alone this morning because I LOLed rather loud several times.

Kerry James Allen said...

Chantry for Minister of Propaganda.

Al said...

Good post

Kerry James Allen said...

Or better, Chantry for Ironic Irenic Minister.

The Squirrel said...

"... like ministry..."

***UBERSNORT***

Squirrel

DJP said...

Don't be irenic with me, you bean-counter!

Tom Chantry said...

If I can't have the Ministry of Funny Walks I'd rather be a back-bencher.

Pastor Pants said...

Utterly, utterly brilliant!

jmb said...

"Faze."

Pastor Zach said...

Frank, Candy has a point... You are obligated to say everything about everything and everyone in every single post, even humorous ones occasioned by one event involving one person doing one thing. To not say everything about everyone and everything is just disrespectful.

In fact, I'm a littler insulted that you didn't mention my newest blog or give it a "shout out," even though it only has two posts. You know the one: outofsardis.blogspot.com. Not that I'm plugging it or anything.

Nash Equilibrium said...

I think it's clear by now that Hitler should not have claimed that Phil invented Christian blogging. He did say that, right?

Kerry James Allen said...

Chantry: You are already exercising your promotion to Minister of Propaganda. It was "Minister of SILLY walks."

Tom Chantry said...

When it's my ministry we'll call it what I want to call it.

That is all.

Darrel said...

Me thinks you are a sick man, Frank Turk! Calling Dr. Phil, Dr. Phil! Dr. Oz, please report to the Nut Ward.

Candy, this is humor. No one will be able to fill Phil J's shoes, nor is it likely they will try. Just as Phil would not/could not fill J Mac's shoes when he retires. In keeping with 1 Cor. 12, Frank Turk is the BIG MOUTH as PJ is that of wisdom and reason. Personally, I do not want those men that you mentioned to leave their blogs to pick up at Pyro, they are all doing a great job in their own right. God will provide, as He always does.

Terry Rayburn said...

With this as the first post out of the gate of the new Pyro, a Venti cup of optimism should be drunk by all.

Brilliant!

Kerry James Allen said...

Tom, your call. Anybody from the city of Milwaukee has to be commended for being part of a tremendous marketing coup: Milorganite. Bought a bag the other day at Menards. Good stuff! ;-}

Terry Rayburn said...

By the way, this is a pretty "inside" video.

If you show it to a non-reader of Pyro, and you see a giant question mark above their head, and their face is kinda scrunched up as though you just showed them a Trigonometric equation, don't think you're the nerd who just laughed inappropriately at the kid making a noise with his hand under his armpit in the midst of a formal dinner party.

You have the right to feel superior, if only for a moment, and if only you are *humbly* superior.

Tom Chantry said...

Ah yes, Milorganite. The brainchild of the MMSD. But let's not talk about the MMSD. For one thing, no one who has ever taken a swim in Lake Michigan really wants to think about them. For another, we're here today, not to bury Phil Johnson, but to celebrate his (apparently Fascist) legacy.

Marla said...

Side-splitting!
"Those of you who haven't been to a Shepherd's Conference get a coke or something..", "It's not like he's the sidekick of some famous pastor", "People will still mistake Dan Philips for Phil", and "..embarrass us all like Mark Driscoll"

Frank, you are truly a menace, but a very funny one. Keep it up. :D

Kerry James Allen said...

Jawohl, mein herring.

Frank Turk said...

Last night as I previewed this video with my wife, she was like, "Can we watch Sherlock now," while I was crying from laughing. I would have laughed harder except I thought I would pass out from fear.

Anyway, about 1500 people will view this video today, and if only 50 or 60 get it, I will feel like a winner, you bean-counter.

Terry Rayburn said...

Actually 83.4 people will get it.

-- Beancounter

Only 2.7 will get that.

-- Back-up Beancounter

Frank Turk said...

I have watched that video probably 15 times in 24 hours, and it doesn't get old.

DJP said...

That is true, Frank. We couldn't put together a roast, but this totally works.

Terry Rayburn said...

"I have watched that video probably 15 times in 24 hours, and it doesn't get old."

I agree.

In fact nuance requires at least 5 viewings.

Tom Chantry said...

I think we need to have some sort of vote/survey for the best moments of the video. My nominations:

"It's not your fault. You always commented, 'Great Post.'"

"For a little while, they will still mistake Dan Phillips for Phil."

and of course,

"Just like Mark Driscoll."

DJP said...

"Don't get saucy with me, you bean-counter!"

Brett R said...

Hitler needs better hair product to be relevant.

DJP said...

Oh, to be clear: I wish I could take credit for any of the substance of this vid, but I can't. As it started, I thought, "Oh darn, I wish Frank had given me a chance to pitch in." When it was done, I thought "Good thing he didn't; I couldn't have touched that." It's a work of comic genius.

Kay said...

pure hilarity. I heartily approve.

DJP said...

Oh, and Chantry, I was chuckling from the start. But when "Hitler" says, "I am certain Phil Johnson will say something to contain these problems. He always does" -- and the guys give this "Uh-oh" look at each other... that's when I started howling.

tobekiwi said...

Oh my, that is so funny. "This is a crisis!" "Don't get saucy with me you bean counter!" (lost it on that one) "Just because Phil made it look easy doesn't mean everyone should try this at home." "For a little while they will still mistake Dan Phillips for Phil."
I've watched it 3 times now, and it just gets better. You may be a menace, but you are a brilliant menace who has cheered a few souls up, and I thank you.
Angie

Tom Chantry said...

The thing about that moment, Dan - I don't know that it was the best line of the vid, but it was the moment I knew it would be a classic. It was perfectly suited to the actual video - the expression on everyone's face fits perfectly the statement. I actually went back and watched the original of this scene from "Downfall" to see what Hitler said there. It was a "he's the last guy in the room to know" moment - which is exactly how Frank's vid played it.

Basic point: so many people have made Hitler parody vids that it looks easy, but it isn't. The script actually has to match the mood in that room at various points - it can't just be a rant. Frank's was genius, not only because he incorporated so many references to the Pyro mythology, but because the video itself just worked with his subtitles.

Then again, he didn't credit everyone in the blogosphere who has ever had something good to say, so I guess he's a menace who must be stopped.

Isaiah Chua said...

Great post!

There, that settles it. It isn't my fault.

Chris H said...

I am on vacation, which is good because people in my office would have wondered why I was slapping my desk and laughing like a crazy person.

There are too many excellent moments for me to list my favourites. It was funny from start to finish.

DJP said...

Right, Chantry.

And I especially like the part where he says that only Frank and I ever write anything of value now. So glad so many people are pointing out how wrong it was of him to say that, you know, when he, you know, didn't.

VcdeChagn said...

My wife is a frequent reader (not as frequent as I am). She is very aware of the guys and I've told her about Dan's taking a pastorate in Texas.

When I told her that Phil was retiring from blogging, this is her verbatim response:


really?! Why? Because of pastoring?


I'd have to say Frank hit a home run with this one! :)

Mike Westfall said...

I dunno if I can stop laughing!

Somebody... Hit me over the head with a Costco frozen meat chub, before I lose it altogether.

Tom Chantry said...

And so what if he did? It was a rant from Hitler!!! We're going to take it seriously now?

Mike Westfall said...

Still laughing...

Sir Brass said...

Thus saith the Chantry, "OK folks, just so we're clear: Frank's decision to go with a Hitler Tantrum Parody on today's post indicates a completely serious and solemn approach to Phil's retirement. Any irony or humor which you discern is purely of your own imagining. Clearly, every word of this video must be treated as a part of the honest, straightforward commentary for which it was intended.

That is all."

Did not the Evajellyfuhrer say that Chantry would save the comments section from utter ruin? I believe he did. He's right :P.

Mary Elizabeth Tyler said...

Well, I am glad many can view this video, all I see is this circle going round in the middle of it. I even went directly to You Tube and got the same results. (:

Rachael Starke said...

My daughter's comment to me as I watched it for the third time:

"Mommy, don't throw up your coffee!!"

My top 3 lines:

3. All you guys who've never gone to a Shepherd's Conference....

2. Don't get saucy with me, you bean counter

1. I don't have a seminary degree....

My stomach really hurts.

Stephen said...

I, for one, welcome our new short fat guy with comic book fetish overlord. Even if he is like Mark Driscoll.

GrammaMack said...

I was teary-eyed when I read the announcement yesterday, so I loved the woman comforting the crying woman with "It's not your fault." But the whole thing was a hoot!

Pecadillo said...

"it's not your fault, you always commented, "good post.""

Mary Elizabeth Tyler said...

I finally made my way through it. It is brilliant! My favorite comment is this: "Don't get saucy with me, you bean counter."

Long live the Turk!!! :)

Pecadillo said...

This was brilliant, Frank. 

I was going to go on a rant about why it is that in the blogosphere, people who are slow to understand a joke are always quick to confront its author and why that is the second reason I hardly ever blog anymore. But of course that would conflict with the number one reason why I hardly ever blog anymore; these Hanna Barbera cartoons aren't going to watch themselves. 

Frank and Dan, when the dust settles on the pyro lineup and you guys get around to removing the old man's name from under the "Pyromaniacs" banner, feel free to take mine off as well. I understand how nepotism works. 

Dr Bill said...

Nope, that would just be wrong.

The bloggist's roll needs to end something like:

...and
Pyro Emeritus:
Phil Johnson

trogdor said...

I don't care for Hitler's tone.

The Squirrel said...

Pec said...
"when the dust settles on the pyro lineup and you guys get around to removing the old man's name from under the "Pyromaniacs" banner, feel free to take mine off as well."

Never! Neither name should be removed! Pec has proved over and over again that you don't have to blog here to be one of the bloggers here! His dad can follow his example!

(Has anybode EVER said that Pec was an example to be followed before now? If not, I want credit for being first!)

Squirrel

Mary Elizabeth Tyler said...

"Frank and Dan, when the dust settles on the pyro lineup and you guys get around to removing the old man's name from under the "Pyromaniacs" banner..."

Nothing "breaks my heart" more than this statement above. I have had the pleasure of laughing today because of Frank's commical nature, and now I am back to being sad once again.

I've said it before: Phil was/is a GLOBAL voice for the truth and a CHAMPION defender of the faith once delivered to the saints.

But let's be careful to not erect a tombstone in Phil's honor just yet. He has many miles to go before he sleeps!

trogdor said...

Someday, maybe soon, maybe a few years from now, Dan will write an incredible post. Not his normal 10, this one will go to 11, which is one louder. A post so profound, it can heal the earth: the air will be clean, the water will be clean, even the dirt will be clean. Bowling averages will be way up, mini-golf scores will be way down. We're talking the best blog post in the history of ever, the reason Providence moved Algore to create the interwebs.

And that day my comment will be but three profound words: "Great post, Phil!"

And the next week we'll get two posts on Christians dealing with depression.

Mary Elizabeth Tyler said...

So funny, trogdor!!! :)

Dave said...

Trogdor: "I don't care for Hitler's tone."

Congratulations, sir. I believe you just won the Internet.

Nonna said...

I'm offended. This post is anti-Germanic.

Some comments on Phil's leaving blogdom sound like epitaphs.

Carl C. said...

Ouch....! this made me laugh hard enough to know what "side-splitting" means. My quiet neighborhood isn't anymore. Thank you Frank, for such a gem of a tribute in classic style.

And meanwhile Phil is off to do "some ministry". By the way, who IS this not-yet-famous-almost-blogger Fuhrer? Does he have a name?

Mark said...

Well, Nonna, Phil IS almost 60, after all...

zamar said...

Now I may never be able to think of or teach WW2 history without this coming to mind. Thank you for such a blessed chuckle.

Nonna said...

Zamar,

Are you a teacher? I'm recalling my student's faces as I taught WWII history (10th grade). Ferris Beuler's Day Off comes to mind.

Tom Chantry said...

Trogdor: "I don't care for Hitler's tone."

Congratulations, sir. I believe you just won the Internet.


Yep. He sure did.

D. C. said...

" But Turk".....two words I am sure are spoken quite a bit. This is off the chart funny and a great tribute to Phil!!

Chris H said...

The only thing this was missing was a lament that Phil didn't take any of them out to coffee first to talk about it. :)

Susan said...

1. @Darrel--Johnny Mac will never retire. He won't even fade away like that other famous MacArthur! (May he live long and prosper!)

2. @Dr Bill--I second the "Pyro Emeritus" idea!

3. @Frank--Tsk, tsk. With a single vid, you have successfully crushed the likes of Taylor and Challies. You need to watch your tone. (Again.)

Frank Turk said...

I'll probably disgrace us all.

Alex Jordan said...

Yes it is an insider's video... but a truly hilarious one anyway. Great job!

Sir Aaron said...

It's too late for that, don't you think, Frank?

Tom Perconti said...

LOL. Wow, that video makes James MacDonald's "Reformed Nazi" tweet seem prophetic.

Jenny said...

Great Post! I only discovered this blog four days ago. I shall be checking in often.

CleanFlea said...

Can I have a Pepsi instead of a Coke?

Thanks

Phil said...

When I first read that Phil was bowing out I thought, there is simply no way to replace that guy.
But after I watched this, and laughed until I cried, I realized that Pyro was in good hands.
Good job Frank, for making a really funny video that both honors Phil and gives hope.

Rachael Starke said...

Honestly - it's so good I'm kinda hoping Dan will announce his retirement also, just so Frank has an excuse to do another one.

Dan can always do a Cher and do endless cycles of "Really the Last Post" series afterwards....

Merrilee Stevenson said...

I needed a box of tissues after watching this!

I know it's not my fault...I always commented..."Nice Post."

I don't know which I enjoyed more: watching it the first time or delighting in watching my husband watch it the first time, and hoping he wouldn't choke on his coffee! Even reading through the comments (well after midnight now) makes me snicker...

Shaun Marksbury said...

You, sir, just won the Internet. A fitting tribute... great post. :-)

Frank Turk said...

I'll have closing thoughts on this video and other things at the end of the day.

Use the time wisely.

Rob said...

Very funny! And nice to see one of these 'Hitler get's angry' videos without any profanity (but a suggestion, Frank: when embedding youTube, deselect "Show suggested videos when the video finishes" as you never know what youTube will select as a related video...)

Citation Squirrel said...

"Great Post"

Yes, there may be a lot of inside jokes that I didn't get. But I picked up many things even though I have not been following as long as some of you have.

Well done!

Nash Equilibrium said...

When I first watched the movie Downfall years ago, I never dreamed that it could one day be adapted to encompass a man as godly as Phil Johnson!

Mike Meadors said...

Frank Turk is a mensch and must be stopped.

Frank Turk said...

Mike Meadors drives an awesome convertable.

Mike Westfall said...

I was thinking schlemiel was the better description. And the TeamPyro readers are the Shlimazel.

Scooter said...

That's because he doesn't follow trends. He makes them!

Genius. Pure genius.

Tom Chantry said...

"Phil Johnson doesn't follow trends. He makes trends."

Why do I now feel obligated to begin a "Phil Johnson Facts" page?

Fact 1: Phil Johnson didn't really beat up Chuck Norris. He didn't have to. Chuck Norris crumbled before Phil's logic and begged for mercy.

believr said...

Turk, you're brilliant!!
Love, love, LOVED that! :)
Have been reading this blog and archives for nearly a year now.. keep up the great work!

Patrick said...

I loved the "it's not your fault.. you always commented, 'Great Post'" Loved it! We will miss you Phil!

Frank Turk said...

Final Comment:

I have gotten some angsty e-mails from people who think Hitler isn't funny, and naming him as the head of the Evangelical movement is even less funny. I am sensitive to those sentiments even if I think they are overblown.

For those dear brother sand sisters who are worried that this video either glorifies Hitler or somehow makes the statement that he's a great Christian:

1. Hitler is not any kind of Christian.

2. The fellow in this video isn't actually Hitler.

3. Hitler doesn't know who Phil Johnson is. He may actually know who I am, but that has to do with a cloning project from late in the war which, frankly, is none of your business.

And with that, the comments are closed.