05 June 2013

Place New Post Here

Because I have somehow selected the only hotel on Priceline without free Internet, I wasn't able to finish the post I planned for this week.

Because I am post via iPhone, I can't even insert text formatting.

Because this always results in 200+ comments, I'm not bothered.

-- Frank

64 comments:

LanternBright said...

One-Star Hater hates iPhones, apparently.

DJP said...

How can I tell if you're bothered if I can't look at your face?

Johnny Dialectic said...

Because I am post via iPhone...

All your post are belong to us.

Nor do I like your tone.

Eric said...

I hope that toiletries case is not made of real leather - think of the animals.

You should not leave your charger plugged in when not in use - it increases your carbon footprint and wastes energy.

Do you use that razor to shave your head and your legs?

Webster Hunt (Parts Man) said...

I came here to get all encouraged and stuff, and THIS is all you have to offer??! I want a refund!

David Regier said...

All the RPB's are totally ignoring this issue.

Again.

Eric said...

Web: Be ye encouraged.

There y'go.

Doug Hibbard said...

I find your willingness to blame Captain Kirk for your posting disturbing.

Kerry James Allen said...

Am I the only one who noticed that under the post titles Dan's name is bigger than Franks? This post explains the conundrum.

It's kind of like on the old "Combat" TV program when Vic Morrow and Rick Jason would feud about whose name got bigger billing on the intro. Not that it matters after one was decapitated and the other committed suicide.

Adequate post, Frank. Enjoy your vacation and we will try to provide as much filler as we can in your absence.

DJP said...

It isn't that mine is larger, it's just normal font.

It's that Frank's is smaller.

Tom Chantry said...

I'm fishing for salmon. Never said THAT in a Pyro thread.

allen said...

Did you talk to the management at the hotel privately before you lamented publicly about no free internet?

Webster Hunt (Parts Man) said...

The rumor I started was that Rachel Held Evans is planning to write a reply to Frank's post today because of his clearly on-purpose subliminal promotion of machismo and oppression of all things feminine, evidenced by his picture of ONLY male bathroom equipment.

Kerry James Allen said...

Correction, Web, the wallpaper is pink, and I think that might be a Coach travel bag.

Webster Hunt (Parts Man) said...

Well there goes the riot I was trying to incite. Thanks a lot Kerry.

St. Lee said...

Well, I have been hanging out here long enough to know that the possibility of this becoming a 200 comment post is not just an empty boast, so I will do my part by adding a meaningless comment.

Tom Chantry said...

My friends and I caught thirteen coho salmon today. At about 2 pounds market weight, and at current market value, that just about recoups the price of the charter. Nice day.

Don't worry, my life is not like this every day.

Eric said...

For better or worse, somebody is going to have to say something pretty offensive to get this thread anywhere near 200, much less 100. There's just no inertia so far.

Maybe an unteachable troll will show up and Dan will let him/her stay and play for a while.

DJP said...

What we ought to do — and I'm using "ought" in the sense of "never ought" — is have a banned-trolls-only meta. Let everyone see what constructive, godly, humble, deep, scintillating input we're preventing them from enjoying.

Eric said...

Tom,

You just made me jealous (for multiple reasons).

Here in Minnesota I usually try not to figure out the price per pound of my walleye, lest I lose heart and give up fishing for something less serene.

Andrew Lindsey said...

Who would comment on a TIWIARN post that doesn't even say anything?

Andrew Lindsey said...

And what is a smeradactyl, anyway?

Andrew Lindsey said...

You shouldn't have written those nasty things about Priceline, iPhone, and the Internet without first discussing matters with them face-to-face over beer mixed with coffee.

Eric said...

Dan,

That would be similar in nature to stretching our necks to see a car crash - simultaneously creepily satisfying to our voyeuristic nature and guilt-inducing to our sense of wisdom and grace.

Tom Chantry said...

Yeah, you know what? I don't know if this is going to 200 or not. Let me see if I can help:

Mark Driscol; charismatic gifts; Benny Hinn; Joel Osteen; Trinitarianism; women's modesty; Peter Ens; Rachel He- wait, she's in the thread already; Oprah; Eric Holder; the land speed velocity of a laden swallow; the IRS; Ron Paul; 42; New Coke; Han shot first; Frank Turk is a menace who must be stopped.

Discuss.

Kerry James Allen said...

Tom, Spurgeon once heard of someone who was saved after they took a fish home from market that was wrapped in one of his printed sermons, that person read it, and was converted.

Since Frank's Driscoll open letter generated a lot of comments, would you wrap a salmon in the Driscoll open letter and hand it to a person of your choice (James Mac?) who will then hopefully come over to the meta and get the comment ball rolling so as to reach Frank's predicted 200? Thanks in advance.

Tom Chantry said...

Look, I know this is terribly uncharitable of me and all, but I worked hard for that salmon, and it's going nowhere but my table or my freezer.

Kerry James Allen said...

Guess you wouldn't have helped much at the feeding of the 5,000 with an attitude like that!

:-)

Tom Chantry said...

Wow. Kerry is pulling out the guilt trip. OK - Salmon Bar-B-Q for everyone at my house tonight. Call this number for directions:

555-FAKENUMBER

Webster Hunt (Parts Man) said...

Tom, I called that number and all I got was an Osteen sermon... or a wrong number message. Same/same.

Kerry James Allen said...

Just for that, and after you have made us all salivate by talking about your salmon, I hope you eat 5,000 McDonald's Filet-O-Fish in your dreams tonight (you know, the ones with cheese and that nasty tartar sauce on them), and then Isaiah 19:8 will be your portion.

Webster Hunt (Parts Man) said...

And speaking of Benny Hinn & charismatic gifts, what's with that whole "slaying in the spirit" thing? I went to a church where that was a common practice. They swore it was totally Biblical.

Eric said...

Tom,

An African swallow or a European swallow?

Aaron Snell said...

Running up the comment count is so much less fun when you are invited to do so.

Webster Hunt (Parts Man) said...

Aaron Snell, I don't think I like your tone. Did you call Frank up before complaining about his allowances in the comment meta? Hater...

Sincerely, a Frank Turk fanboy.

Webster Hunt (Parts Man) said...

Dan, regarding that banned commenter meta: I've always wondered what happened to Matt Aznoe. I'm convinced to this day that he's the infamous 1-star hater.

DJP said...

I have two guesses, and he's neither.

Scott Welch said...

So today's post is about electricity all the fun things that happen when you get it wet.

It's going to be fun day.

St. Lee said...

I wasn't going to comment again, but when I got to the bottom I really wanted to see if the "please prove you're not a robot" box said what I think it said. If this comment shows up, then it means I guessed right ...again.

And speaking of Rachel ....just what do you think the exact relationship is between ladies with hyphenated last names and rejection of biblical principles.

DJP said...

ONE FOR ONE!

DJP said...

Oh, sorry... did I shout?

Paul said...

Nice Old Spice plug!

jmb said...

I'd like to add to Chantry's list, but I'm afraid I'll be deleted by Frank when he gets the chance, so I'll just say: "He who must not be mentioned."

Frank Turk said...

One star hater is a female. I am convicted by the Holy Spirit of it.

P.D. Nelson said...

Are you suggesting that coconuts are native to England?

CleanFlea said...

I notice all labels were turned away from the camera. I take it everyone was late with their product placement fees?

GraceandGraphite said...

*pokes meta*

Only 46? (Well, 47 now.)

...

Would it help if I got out and pushed?

Jared Queue said...

WELL, I came here looking for Dan's post, to which I was sorely disappointed (I was ready to read it over with a cup of coffee, and talk to it about my disagreements, and rebuke myself for my tone and everything). So instead, I will comment on Frank's from yesterday with the attempt to up this total.

And here's my comment: Frank, how could you have not thought it necessary to A) Check ahead of time for internet access knowing how important your Wednesday post is to getting us over the hump? I mean, I barely made it through yesterday B) Just go to a coffee shop with internet!!! You're in New York, right?? Or wherever, you're at some city with internet. C) At least say something snarky, biblical, and anti-evangelical to fuel the comment thread?

SMH

DJP said...

Jared, you came SO CLOSE to winning the meta. If you'd only worked in snarks at Phil and Spurgeon...

Ah, it might have been.

(c:

Jared Queue said...

Dan, in the words of my children, "I'll do it right this time!! GIVE ME ANOTHER CHANCE!!!!"

Actually, I'll take close as a moral victory. I've got to count them anyway I can these days...

Lastly, I do expect an account from Frank for the allegations I have brought against him. (Or just finish your post today, or tomorrow, and do a double post. Find a way to make things right, Frank.)

DJP said...

LOL. I'm working on one. Give me about five minutes.

Jay C. said...

I'm not fishing, nor am I trolling. I'm posting simply to help get to the standard 200+ comments that the OP referenced.

Have a nice day :)

Jay C. said...

GraceandGraphite said...

*pokes meta*

Only 46? (Well, 47 now.)

...

Would it help if I got out and pushed?


It might!

:D

Rob said...

Is that an aluminum-free deodorant?

Brett R said...

It does not look like that is a GFI recepticle. UNSAFE!

Kerry James Allen said...

That's GFCI for our perfectionist electrician friends who may stop by here occasionally.

:-)

Eric said...

Let's talk about how Dan has blocked dissent by not allowing further comments on his latest blog entry unless he is chaperoning. ;)

Let's at least hit 100!

For good measure: Chantry and Trueman (both having achieved single-name status 'round here) are my favorite celebrity pastors and on Sunday I told my local pastor that she should be more like them. Discuss.

Frank Turk said...

If "one star hater is a female" is not controversial enough to stoke the comments, the interweaves are dead.

trogdor said...

One Star Hater could very well be a female. But it could just as easily be one of the numerous emasculated effeminate male-children who are perpetually offended that y'all act as if God's word is actually true. It's easy to mistakenly think it's an abnormally emotional woman when it's one of those simpering pansies.

Tom Chantry said...

Woot!

Kerry James Allen said...

And as a fellow native Pennsylvanian I gladly note Tom proudly wearing that Steeler cap as he displays the fruits of victory. Well done, sir, well done.

Tom Chantry said...

I had to post that for you, KJ.

Kerry James Allen said...

Thank you. I'm a little depressed about the Penguins but the Pirates are playing well and the Steelers look good this year. I was in Pittsburgh a month ago, went to PNC park with my three boys for $5 each, and watched the Pirates beat the Milwaukee Brewers. I'm not sure which is worse, Tom, being a pirate or a brewer.

Tom Chantry said...

By the way, for those who are chomping at the bit to know, I DID take the salmon out for coffee first to discuss my intent to catch, filet, grill, and eat it.