12 March 2009

Better late than Never

by Frank Turk

OK – the book giveaway. Let me say that all of your entries were, frankly, heart-rending. I mean: it was like looking in some puppy’s eyes as he sits in the middle of a busy street, and you know he’s hungry, right?

Sigh.

Anyway, no offense to anyone, but these 4 entries were my favorites:

Warren said...
I am involved in a men's prayer group and I keep hearing the typical Evangelical blather about how we have to try harder and do better. I would love this book to help guide the conversation in a more Biblical direction.

Brance said...
Frank,

I would like to have this book as I seek to love my wife and raise my, now, 10 month old daughter. Also I shepherd a group of high school and college students who are moving into the marriage era of their lives and are coming to me for council.

JR said...
I am a pastor. I am a husband. I have a son. I have twin daughters. I do pre-marital counseling. Frank is Pyro's top contributor. Winning is fun. Losing sucks.
The Breakdownigans said...
Much like everyone else: i have 2 daughters, my brother has 3 boys & 1 daughter...we are starting a church and I am to be the Pastor. I need to know how to be the man that i want my daughters and niece to marry.

BTW Cent -- Given my soon to be entrance into being a Pastor your series on 1 & 2 Timothy & Titus has me chomping at the bit every week. That wasn't meant to sway your decision but I won't be hurt if it does...
And while all of you made the plea, “for my family”, what distinguished these was the fact that all of them had some sort of pastoral need for the book. So no offense to the rest of you, but I used pastoral need as a differentiator to narrow the field.

After that, aside from the bold-faced sycophancy of Breakdownigans and JR, there was no real way to choose between these entries to say, “hands down: winner.” So I used the clock in my office as a random number generator to determine the winner.

Now, in the “things you thought you’d never learn at TeamPyro” department, here’s how you do that. BTW, this is based on an algorithm that I think is pretty common but I developed it for myself in High School using a version of BASIC, and it has never failed me in a pinch. For those of you following along, it is the same algorithm I used to rotate the PyroManiacs banner at the top of the page.

Let’s imagine that you have X number of items to choose from, and you want to randomly pick one. Well, simply look up at the clock on your wall and notice the second hand – for example, right now the second hand on my clock says 43 seconds.

So in our case, X = 4, right? So we take the seconds on the clock and divide by 4.

43 / 4 = ?

Well, it equals 10 with 3 left over. It’s the remainder you have to care about – that’s your random number. In our example, you will get a remainder of 1, 2, 3 or 0 (which we would call “4” for the sake of our problem).

I got a remainder of “3”, so our winner is JR, who needs to e-mail me to claim his prize.

And after chatting with Crossway, I have a second copy which I am going to donate to the most pitiable entry in our contest:
David Ould said ...
Frank.
We need this book out here in the little church I help pastor in Australia because otherwise all the good stuff stays in the US! Plus my own daughter turns 5 next week and reading this is probably more helpful than locking her in her room for the next, say, 35 years.
An Australian pastor with a 5-yr-old daughter takes the cake because he’s right: somehow the good stuff never gets published down under. David – I tried to e-mail you using your blogger e-mail address, and I got nothin’. E-mail me and you can also claim your prize.

And I’ll return to the Titus/Timothy series next week, the Lord and business conditions permitting.










68 comments:

Frank Turk said...

BTW, I love the handle "Breakdownigans". My nephew is a raving cult member to the "Back-yardigans", and this reminds me of him.

Shinar Squirrel said...

You know, instead of that long explanation about how to generate random numbers, a Biblicist would have just cast lots.

Ah, well… Free book + postage to Down Under = somebody buy something from Frank’s Pawn Shop, he needs money.

The Squirrel

DJP said...

Strangest.

Pyro.

Post.

Ever.

Chad V. said...

Darn, name it and claim it didn't work! Some one get me Kenneth Copeland.

Strawberry said...

>>43 / 4 = ?
>>
>>Well, it equals 4 with 3 left over.

I'd have said 43/4 = 10 with a remainder of 3

:)

DJP said...

(Me too, but it's math, and it's Frank, so I just assume he knows something I don't.)

Nik Papageorgiou said...

But... it doesn't add up! 43/4 = 10.75 or 10 and 3/4!!

I must be missing something here. Should I have done a PhD in Math instead of Biology?

Frank, I believe an exposition of your algorithm is in order.

Daryl said...

Chad,

We all named it and claimed it.

Overloaded the system.

Kenneth needs a faster computer.

thelightheartedcalvinist said...

I see Mr. Turk had the same teacher as Lou Costello: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7WMi5TUJDso

Shemp Howard would be as befuddled by this as he was by Mr. Costello's calculations in said video.

Frank Turk said...

What are you people talking about?

Frank Turk said...

I'm reading this thread over and over trying to see what you people are getting at and I think I have it in hand finally. After prayer and review of Scripture, I think you're all just jealous and you are speaking out of the overflow of your heart.

I think less of you for it. Obviously, we have to go over the Gospel again becuase it didn't stick with you people the first 43/4=4-with-3-left-over times you heard it here.

danny2 said...

hey, thanks for saying my kids don't matter as much as the church i pastor.

and for making me feel like a moron with all the algorithm talk.

now i'll have to actually invest some my own resources into the growth of my church and family.

;-)

Frank Turk said...

Squirrel --

I point out that this is the electronic method of casting lots.

Mesa Mike said...

I figure Frank must be using Ma and Pa Kettle Math.

stratagem said...

Do we get to choose the person that our daughters marry? I haven't had much luck with that, personally...

VcdeChagn said...

I'm about 2/3 of the way through my first reading of the book.

Frank is right. It IS a fantastic book.

I'll be reading along and think I'm doing fairly well in an area, then Dr. Baucham tells you what God expects and you just get bonked over the head with conviction, over and over again.

If you posess an X chromosome you need to read this. If you posess TWO X chromosomes, read it twice.

Shinar Squirrel said...

I point out that this is the electronic method of casting lots.

NOT the same thing! 'Tronics ain't biblical, I tell ya... Sniff!

The Squirrel

Frank Turk said...

Mesa Mike:

Plainly, math needs to be left to the simple folk.

Doug Hibbard said...

Maybe it was the business meeting last night, but I'm confused what the problem with the math problem is.

Frank said:

43 / 4 = ?

Well, it equals 10 with 3 left over.

Which is right. And the remainder is the number that won, number 3.

Or was it wrong earlier and he's corrected it?

This is what I get for listening to trustees explain refinancing the church loan.

Frank Turk said...

Doug --

I am grateful that there is at least one honest man among our commentors. May your tribe increase.

Your reward will be 43/4=4-with-3-left-over free comments on this blog.

JOYce ~♥~ said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
JR said...

YES!!!!

And I thought using the term "sucks" may disqualify me.

Did I mention, I love math.

Daryl said...

Ok JR, you can stop sucking up now...you won...and I'm not even jealous...hardly at all...

Nik Papageorgiou said...

I think the 43/4=4 with 3 left over" reference can qualify as the new "ΙΧΘΥΣ" code for when we'll be hiding in the catacombs again...

Everyone agree?

philness said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Everyday Mommy said...

Frank...

I hear the Backyardigans in my sleep.

jules

philness said...

Lets face it JR was elected because he had an island of righteousness in him.

I deleted above for bad spelling.

Daryl said...

He was elected 'cause he selected...

Speaking of bunny trails...

DJP said...

Weirdest.

Pyro.

Thr....

Wait. I don't think so.

Nevermind.

philness said...

Yes, but something caused him to select.

Mesa Mike said...

He was elected to be selected.

Daryl said...

a God shaped vacuum...

Daryl said...

...with 3 left over...

Stefan said...

Perhaps the "4 with 3 left over" was an earlier version of this post?

Because now it says "10 with 3 left over."

**********************************

Think of it another way. Let's say you had 43 books, and had to divide them between 4 people—Izzy, Jerry, Zeke, and Dan—without regard to matching a particular book to a particular person.

So you take the first book and give it to Izzy, the second to Jerry, the third to Zeke, and the fourth to Dan.

After that, you've still got 39 books left to divide between the four people you already each gave a book to.

So you start from the beginning, and give the fifth book to Izzy, the sixth to Jerry, the seventh to Zeke, and the eighth to Dan. You then keep repeating the process.

At the end of the day, the 40th book would go to Dan (completing the last full cycle), the 41st to Izzy, the 42nd to Jerry, and the 43rd to Dan, who is the third person in the group, and thus JR.

It's a form of "modulo arithmetic" (or "modular arithmetic," as Wikipedia calls it).

Solameanie said...

Frank,

If I could, I'd clown you for launching a mathematics lesson on me on a Thursday morning. I hate math. As a matter of fact, I have a picture of Pythagoras on my wall, and I dutifully engage in a daily "Two Minutes Hate" at it. Well, I really don't have a pix of Pythagoras, but you get my drift.

I know why you chose an Australian for the prize. You've been in a retro mood of late and listening to Men at Work and Little River Band CDs.

philness said...

...now being the 3rd day...

Shinar Squirrel said...

now it says "10 with 3 left over

So, the question is, "Is Frank a revisionist? Or is Phil just a good editor?"

The Squirrel

Daryl said...

I know a man who divided 43 by 4, whether in the body or not I do not know...

Although coming up with 4 and 3 left over leads me to believe it was pretty far out of the body...

Stefan said...

Our brother's probably doing weird math with wind turbines all day. Let's cut him some slack.

And Solameanie: Without Pythagoras and his study of harmonics, there'd be no guitars today—let alone electric guitars (which required even more mathematics!).

Frank Turk said...

Stefan:

If I could make a face at you right now, I would.

Stefan said...

Well, I was trying to help you out with my tale of Izzy, Jerry, Zeke, and Dan up above.

Daryl said...

Slack? Frank? Be serious....

Solameanie said...

Stefan,

True, although Pythy might have used an electric lute or harp while doing his studies. He beat Ben Franklin to the punch by standing outside in a thunderstorm while holding a lute. They warned him that he should have used catgut strings instead of Ernie Ball metal strings, but he didn't heed the warning.

I don't think Frank would be working on wind turbine formulas. I suspect he got hold of Arkansas' now mothballed electric chair to refurbish it for future use on errant blog commenters like us.

Chad V. said...

"He was elected 'cause he selected..."

Ergun Caner has joined the string.

Chad V. said...

Stefan

I fix guitars for a living and I'm terrible at math. What does that say?

Chad V. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
greglong said...

Frank, could you interpret Daniel 9:24-27 for me? Or just give me a mathematical shortcut for it?

Stefan said...

Solameanie:

Your last comment was very Strong Toweresque. You show promise, grasshopper.

Chad:

I dunno. I guess you just play it by ear.

JOYce ~♥~ said...

And I’ll return to the Titus/Timothy series next week, the Lord and business conditions permitting.

Lookin forward!

December Sun Blog said...

What happens if the clock hand is on the hour (zero?) Granted, I learned my math skills in public schools, but wouldn't that invalidate the formula?

DJP said...

Oh Greg, don't ask Turk about Daniel 9. He'll just say "Blub blub blub" or something.

Julie said...

What if we use Libbie's "Timey Wimey" clock?

Frank Turk said...

DSB:

0 / 4 = 4 with 3 left over.

DJP:

Don't start that. Just because your mama named you after a good man and a prophet doesn't mean I can't send the boys around to explain it to you.

Meds for your IMAGINATION said...

Frank you rule man.

I totally am going to pick up this book.

Becky, slave of Christ said...

Frank is Pyro's top contributor. Winning is fun. Losing sucks.

This guy made me laugh. He had my vote (not that I was voting and I certainly have no control over Frank's clock, or his mathematics).

Stefan: I think Dan probably already has a copy of the book.

Stefan said...

Frank:

"0 / 4 = 4 with 3 left over."

Okay, now you're just messing around.

Solameanie said...

Watch it, Chad . . . them's fightin' words about the Rickenbacker! I'll use a Ric over one of those dorky Fender basses any day. (And ask Roger McGuinn about the Ric electric 12-string)

Daryl said...

Since we're so far afield here anyways...

I'd like to ask for prayer if I could. My sister is giving me one of her kidneys next Wednesday.

Bit of a stress on both families, although it will be great to finally have it done...

Thanks

Chad V. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sharon said...

@Daryl: I'd like to ask for prayer if I could. My sister is giving me one of her kidneys next Wednesday.

Wow, the ultimate in sibling sacrifice. Prayers are raised for both you and her!

David Ould said...

thanks Frank, much appreciated. Sorry to mess up the maths!

email swinging your way.

David

Shinar Squirrel said...

Maybe, if Frank had contacted this math guy, there would have been less confusion...

The Squirrel

Chad V. said...

Solameanie

Rebuke duly noted. I should probably be more discerning about my joking around.

Actually I think the Rick basses are great. The guitars how ever are very frustrating to work on, but they have a cool sound that you can't get out of anything else.

Roger Mcguinn, you mean the guy that wrote Turn Turn Turn, which abuses the text from Ecclesiastes and perverts it into a war protest song?

Now about those Fender basses.. Dorky???!!!! Need I bring out the long list of accomplished bass players that play Fender basses? Some of my best customers are loyal Fender players.

candy said...

The kitten with big eyes didn't move you? Bummer.

Actually cats and kids with imploring eyes don't move me much either.

Stefan said...

Daryl:

We'll be praying for you two and your families. May God in His sovereignty restore you quickly to full health, and speed the recovery of your sister as well.

Matt Gumm said...

Since Frank brought it up, I just wanted to say that The Backyardigans are da bomb. Superspy is one of my personal faves. My kids like the show too, but frankly, they can't really appreciate how clever it really is.

Solameanie said...

Chad,

My rebuke was with a wink ;).

I imagine they are hard to work on. When my Ric bass was damaged in my house fire a few years ago, my local guitar store sent it off to Chicago for repair. They wouldn't touch it. But I am thankful it could be repaired. Nothing else sounds like it with that punch and growl.

I love Fender guitars - the Strats and Telecasters. But I've never liked the Fender bass. Maybe it's a visceral reaction to Country/Western bassists who hike it up near their armpits. C/W makes me want to jump off a bridge every time I hear it anyway.

Chad V. said...

meanie

"...hike it up to their arm pits" That just unleashed a whole slew of images... LOL!

Next time your Rick needs work send it up to Wisconsin, I'll get it running, if I can ;-) No Rick has defeated me yet.