28 April 2010

Kinda Christianity

by Frank Turk

My friend Zach Bartels and his friend Ted Kluck have published a new book, which is available for the first time in history at Amazon.com: Kinda Christianity. I bring it up because I wrote the foreward, and because we get more readers here at TeamPyro on Wednesday than Zach gets at his blog in any given year, and because Ted and Zach need your help. They want this thing to go completely viral, completely "The Shack". Except in a wholly-orthodox and Gospel-centered way. And maybe as Oprah's book of the month.

They want you to buy it and get your friends to buy it. It's like a portable version of Phil's PoMotivators. And just to sample it for you, here's the foreward I wrote for them in its "red-band" version (the one which names names, not the limp-wristed version with tepid references to nameless people which Ted and Zach wanted to avoid any problems) because you people are that tough.


I recently received that as a tweet from a friend of mine. It’s a great quote, and of course it doesn’t apply to you personally at all – it applies to everyone else except you.

I point that out because Ted and Zach wrote a little handbook here which, even if it doesn’t go The Shack for them and blow up the world of self-publication, is going to get the criticism, “they’re just a bunch of jerks, dude.” Ted will be called a hater or maybe some kind of misogynist homophobe jock, and Zach will be named as infamous in spite of his ubiquitous use of Hebrew to spell his first name. (Poser)

But here’s the thing: Are they the haters? It seems to me that they are not the haters – they are simply the ones who are not jealous. They are not the ones calling each other John Bunyan and Martin Luther, naming their movement a “new reformation” in the midst of also lowering moral standards, eliminating the things which are distinctive about the Christian faith, and dressing in a shabby way rather than a way which says, “I am in the image of my creator, so I want to keep the place looking nice.”

That is, of course, not to say that the objects of the bright lights and shiny sharp objects in this book are the only ones who flub the Christian life. It is to say, though, that these people have made an art of it. Under the guise of doing something indispensible with a 2000-year tradition of philosophical, political, economic, social and spiritual wins they have simply done what George Costanza would do – they have done the opposite.

What to do if there are glaring moral issues in our day – speak in a prophetic voice echoing Isaiah and Elijah and Moses? Oh heck no – do the opposite: embrace the moral failings of our day and say that this is who we are. Don’t hate me because I’m fabulous and famous like Perez Hilton or Spencer and Heidi.

What to do when worship is itself something everyone finds somewhat unconscionable and unfit for our daytimers – dress up our time together and inform it so that we cannot forget that we’re talking about the creator of all things, thinking about how Paul spoke to the folks at Corinth or maybe how the writer of Hebrews puts together a vision of our savior and our faith? Oh please – do the opposite: paint the place black, light a few candles, and sit on ratty sofas and talk about ourselves and the story we find ourselves in. Don’t ask more of me, but less.

And while we’re talking about us, how do we know who “we” are – how do we know what the church itself is, here and now? Do we raise up leaders who are kind and discerning men who are leaning on Scripture and on the promise of Christ, who are using baptism as a gate to bring disciples to Christ and who are admonishing the people of God to believe in Christ and live as if his resurrection is true the way your DVR schedule is true and your paycheck is true? C’mon now: do the opposite! We should be looking up to guys like Donald Miller who can’t be bothered to join with other believers for worship, and Rob Bell who won’t tell people about the life after life after death when he’s interviewed by the national press, and Brian McLaren who must have a New Kind of Christianity rather than the one the rest of us have inherited, and Doug Pagitt who shames people with passive-aggressive zingers and stops talking to them when they ask him what he specifically means by that – and as for baptism and a solid hope in the return of Christ, who cares? What’s that got to do with my favorite treat at Starbucks?

There’s nothing to be jealous of there, to get back to my point. There’s nothing to be jealous of in a movement that is exactly like what you find in Spencer’s at the Mall or maybe what’s in the used record joint across the street -- people who might in some sense like the smell of what they are selling, but they only like you if you are buying.

Ted and Zach aren’t buying it, and neither am I. However, I do have a really-cool on-line t-shirt shop where you can buy t-shirts that say “Spurgeon is my Homeboy” or “orthodox gangsta”, and I encourage you to indulge yourself since Ted and Zach cut me out of the commissions for this book. Kids these days …

Grace and Peace to you,

Frank Turk
http://teampyro.blogspot.com
The t-shirt shop
twitter: Frank_Turk
hatemail: jonestony@gmail.com







118 comments:

jakob said...

Sold!
Thanks for sharing this, I'm always happy to see people take on others by name in an unashamed way.
Looks like I'll be adding a book to my reading list.

Pastor Pants said...

It would be "sold!" but it's not available at Amazon UK yet.

Any idea when, Frank?

GGO said...

Yeah need it in the UK!

Jacob said...

Interest piqued! Thanks Frank!

stratagem said...

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. I also learned that "poseur" can also be correctly spelled "poser."

Phil Johnson said...

Nice.

TBE said...

I would buy this for your foreword alone, Frank (that's if I wasn't already such a big fan of Ted Kluck). Even though you've now posted it free online.

olan strickland said...

I'm going to buy a copy just for its title. A person could have fun with that for years!

Plus it has the Pyromaniac's seal of approval :)

ZSB said...

I think people in the UK can still buy it here: http://gutcheckpress.com/gutcheckvip

Just don't tell anyone about that page because it's really embarrassing.

Also, check out www.gutcheckpress.com/kinda for excerpts from the book, etc.

Thanks, Turk! You've once again proved that, as hard as you try to be an evil Tolkein-like villain, you're actually a nice guy!

steve said...

Frank wrote, I wrote the forward

That'd be the foreword...

Always appreciate it when Teampyro shares their book recommendations.

DJP said...

That'd be the foreword...

Not when Frank writes it.

Solameanie said...

This is the best chuckle I've had all week. Looking forward to the book.

Frank Turk said...

Bartels is now complaining that TeamPyro readers are ambivalent because my post promoting his book got fewer comments than my interview at his blog.

Contest!

You have to make comments of 75 words or more, on-topic. Person who makes comment #50 gets a free mug from the TeamPyro store; person with comment #100 gets a free hoodie from the TeamPyro store.

Ready ... GO!

Frank Turk said...

Oh yeah -- comments have to be on-topic to the post. To show you actually read about Bartels' book.

Frank Turk said...

That hoodie costs real money, too.

Trevor said...

Dare I post 35 comments of 75 words + to get that elusive mug?!? Nah. I'll just snipe it when the count hits 49.

:P

Anyways, I have one question: Is it legal to use that book cover? I feel the temptation to be mischevious and purchase a box of these books and go to the local Christian bookstore and place these where a certain book of similar book-cover-age rests.

Hmm...

Zack Skrip said...

Zach Bartels states here that he only wrote the book because he was in fear of reprisal from the tyrannical, monolithic, overlords of evangelicalism, just like McLaren wrote in his Huffington post article.

On a more serious note, Frank you are right in that they (McLaren et al) have lost the beauty of a faith given once for all. In all of their talk of aesthetics they have lost true beauty and have turned instead to the flash of pop culture.

Jealousy sums it up. Change the course so you stand out and everyone will look at you.

Stefan said...

They should sell it in a box set with candles and incense, coming soon to the "Spirituality" section of a big bookstore near you.

RealityCheck said...

Even without the great foreword (sorry, forword), the book has already earned my approval because if you type its title into Google it has moved a "certain book" with a "similar name" almost off my screen, which is where it should be.

I really have nothing else to say but I would like to hit the 75 words. But typing just to type wouldn’t be right, even if I hit 75 words on the nose!

DJP said...

Was this really about getting your name in a published book before mine?

Stefan said...

Frank is a real person? I thought he was a comic book character, locked in the Cartesian dualism of rectilineal frames on a page, filtering everything through sharp angles and the restrictive bounds of four-colour printing and speech bubbles. A strange comic book character, though, waxing on subjects ecclesiastical and soteriological; by day, a mild-mannered engineer, family man, and bookseller, and by night, Captain Credo, proclaiming the Gospel and exhorting folks to go to church.

Stefan said...

Either that's 75 words, or I'm in the running for the Twitchell Prize.

GutCheckPress said...

Oh, how sweet the irony will be when I get the 100th comment and procure the free hoodie. I will wear it everytime I'm not "in uniform" as a Baptist pastor, and will wash it RARELY.

BTW, my publishing this comment ties Team Pyro and my interview with Turk vis a vis comments.

ZSB said...

BTW, your foreword is definitely missing something without the trademark comic book font... We maintained that for the book: Turk as he was intended to be seen...

Rob Bailey said...

I do not drink coffee, and I do not wear hoodies. If I wore a hoodie, it might not say “I am in the image of my creator, so I want to keep the place looking nice.” Some friend you are. And it is my blood pressure that keeps me away from the coffee. 'Course the hoodie would not mess up your hair or mine.

Rob Bailey said...

wow. the next word verification after I posted is "rob id" I'm getting a little scared.

RealityCheck said...

Stefan,

But the trick is to hit 75 words (on the nose) while drawing attention to that fact, all in the same post. YOU needed a second post.

Also, Phil!, I just checked Grace Church’s bookstore for this book, they haven’t heard of it! It’s not right that my favorite bookstore doesn’t have a stack of them.

Now if I could just figure out a way to hit 75 words again. Wait, I just did.

Stefan said...

Hey! He said "75 words or more"!

I wanted to be subtle and über cool by not drawing attention to the fact that it was a 75-line comment, but my pride got the better of me—the pride of a three-year-old when he's written a ten-word poem that rhymes.

Stefan said...

75 "lines!?"

Sorry, 75 words.

olan strickland said...

Bartels is now complaining that TeamPyro readers are ambivalent because my post promoting his book got fewer comments than my interview at his blog.

Would Bartels dare describe us with that adjective? What Kinda Christianity is that?

Kinda Christianity than the name calling, separating over non-essentials, KJVO fundamentalism?

Kindagarten Christianity?

How long shall we hesitate between two opinions? Shall we be like Joshua and decide this day whom we shall serve? The opposite I say! We'll be like Joel Osteen and say, "I don't know"! :)

Frank Turk said...

30? That's it?

Even for a Hoodie?

WHere's the honor? WHere's the greed?

Stefan said...

Maybe we're all waiting for someone else to post the 49th or 99th comment, so we can swoop in and claim the prize.

Mike Riccardi said...

Is there a table of contents we can view?

Fusion! said...

http://www.gutcheckpress.com/kinda/studyguide.pdf

From the Study guide:
Re-read the foreword by Frank Turk. Meditate on it. How would
you describe Frank Turk's mental and spiritual hang-ups?
Explain.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Al said...

Most of us are waiting for it to get closer to the 50 mark... Why waste our good stuff pre-qual hoodie... Now, if you made it a drawing...

By the way, being called "A Jerk" by some is high praise. Kinda Dead Catish. "Bring the pain" as Whitefield was want to say.

Now, for a bit of irony... At the bottom of Amazon page for Kinda Christianity is the following:

Customers Who Bought This Item Also Bought:

Surprised By Hope
by N T Wright

A writer who has gone viral himself on occasion.

al sends

Stefan said...

There's a study guide!?

(Thinking of the irony that many small group programs are about any book other than the Bible.)

You guys are killing me!

stratagem said...

I think this book should have been packaged in a cover that is padded and upholstered, with the book being in the outline of a couch. As in the type that were used in Emerg*** churches when they still existed. It would bring a type of nostalgia and also be evocative of the "coffee table book" from the old Seinfeld episode, if anyone remembers that old-timey show.

Stefan said...

The lesson of all this is clear: on any collaborative project involving Frank, madness ensues.

David said...

So how come you get to write forewords, and we have to write seventy five?

Not fair at all.

Rachael Starke said...

I can't quite figure out what the graphic going the side of the book is. At first I thought it was flowers and butterflies, which totally made me want to buy it. Every successful Christian book publisher knows that Christian women will buy anything in print with flowers and butterflies on it.

But then I wondered if it was just weird camouflage-type stuff. In which case, I'm just,like, really offended by such violent, militaristic imagery.

bp said...

You have to make comments of 75 words or more, on-topic. Person who makes comment #50 gets a free mug from the TeamPyro store; person with comment #100 gets a free hoodie from the TeamPyro store.

Ready ... GO!


Are you only counting the posts that have 75 words or more to reach post #50 and #100 or are ya counting all the posts? And: Do you count all the words if I copy/paste someone else's on-topic post (as per above) and make a short comment about it or only my own words?

Instructions should be clearer than that when you're dealing with such snazzy prizes!

Stefan said...

Oh, bp, you want rules and clear definitions, when it should be all about the chi. That's so Hellenistic and Cartesian of you.

ZSB said...

1. Even with my regular checking in, there's no way this thread hits 100. (and I've gotta go teach catechism class now, so I'm no help). If this is a contest, do I win? Or did I lose because my Turk interview only had 22 comments?

2. To understand the graphic no the cover, google the cover of Brian McLaren's latest piece of...er...work.

bp said...

Stefan, normally it's about the chi." But the body's energy force gets all out of whack when your dealing with mugs n hoodies.

Frank Turk said...

This is #45.

let's see who really is on it to win it.

If # 50 doesn't have 75 words, the next post that does wins.

Stop being legalisrs and play, you sissies.

Stefan said...

It's like nobody wants the mug. But if no one wants the mug, then no one can go for the hoodie. I would rather not go for either, and let someone in need of a mug or a hoodie go for the prize instead. But if we don't help each other get there, then we'd be kissing free gifts goodbye—especially emblazoned with Frank's or Phil's inimitable graphics—and that would be a crying shame.

David said...

I want the mug!

#47!

slave4Christ said...

How about giving the 47th blogger the book, just to keep things interesting. C'mon I love surprises. Please!

Mike Riccardi said...

Going for it.

Mike Riccardi said...

I really really really really really really really really really really really want to be commenter number fifty. I really really really really hope you think this is clever. And technically it’s on topic because the contest has become a sort of secondary topic to the original post. So I hope you do not think this is just really really really really stupid, because I really really really really do not want to be disqualified.

bp said...

actually I don't want the mug. In-fact I've got about 50 used mugs in my cupboard that I'll give to posters 51 to 99 (3.99 for S&H). So even though Mike's probably disqualified, I'm waiting for the hoodie.

Mike Riccardi said...

Though, now that I've gotten that in there I feel a bit freer to actually say something about the book. For starters, I don't think the comment thread isn't booming because it's not a welcome addition to our bookshelves, but just because much of us happily agree with the merciless beatings of the already dead horse that is/was Emergent.

I wonder what folks have to say about that, though. That is, that Emergent is a dead horse. And maybe efforts like this book should just let the train wreck that was Emergent die in ignominy rather than give it any more of a spotlight.

Of course, I'm only wondering, not giving Ted and Zach a hard time.

candy said...

Mike: Cheater!

Stefan said...

Mike:

I'm sure that under other guises, the search for "authenticity," wholistic eco-friendly worship, "smells and bells," etc. will go on.

How will the book publishers and the whole system of "Christian" media—authors, book interviews, talk shows—survive if they are not constantly trying to push the latest insight from the latest (")Christian(") author du jour?

It doesn't matter if it's health and wealth, or church growth pragmatism, or self-help books based on quoting Scripture out of context, or this-isn't-your-gandfather's-religion, or angelology, or descriptions of "heaven," or eco-friendly paganism in a "Christian" guise.

A market will always be created and exploited for these simulacra of the real thing.

Zack Skrip said...

As to the dead horse comment:

Yeah, it is a dead horse, but this theology is nothing short of alive and well. Sure, they might not be quite as hokey, but liberalism has been around since the 19th century and it will continue un-abated for as long as we have churchmen who deem the gospel to be something that needs to be persuasive.

Bultmann was a christian (at least, he believed so). When he woke up, he didn't ask himself "So, do ya wanna destroy the church today?" No. He said, "Wow, I feel kinda sheepish (ooh, another good book title!) about telling my buddies over at the academy that I belong to a group that holds to miracles. Maybe I should do something about that."

Kluck and Bartels are having some fun with a serious-as-a-heart-attack subject. If people read this book and realize that they need to cling to the faith given once and for all then they have done the church a service. Not to mention they are getting all sarcastic like Mt. Carmel on these guys. always a good time :-D

Rob Bailey said...

watching some donald duck circa 1950 with the most funny looking, and smartest 1 year old i've ever met. and as i said, i dont wear hoodies. so this is just helping those that want the thing.

Mike Riccardi said...

Stefan and Zack, both good responses. Thanks.

And as I read your responses and think about it some more, should we really consider the Emergent movement dead while there are still hundreds of people in Bell's and Pagitt's "churches"? Perhaps stuff like this is needed until the movement is dead both officially and unofficially.

Disciple of Jesus Christ said...

America's Christianity is pitiful... needs much prayer...

Grace be with you!
Jdisciple†

Stefan said...

Where's the adjudicator? Was the mug an empty promise? Mike really really really wants a mug.

recreatedinchrist said...

I agree, after reading "The Heavenly Man," America's Christianity is (in general) in a sad state (narcissistic or "Laodecian"). We've become inward focused instead of outward --- God's mission in Christ (Mt. 28:18-20) needs to be at the center of the Church.

It's not enough to know the Word, but we must doers the Word (Jms 1:22). Unfortunately the "Emergents" have failed on the first part of this equation; so of course the balance is going to be off with the second part --- i.e. they don't have the power that only comes from the Word which really is the power of the resurrection as the Holy Spirit fills and applies the Word to our lives in Christ.

The scary part is, is that we can "know" the Word and not be doers; and be just as dead as the emergents are, that's why we need eachother to spur each of us unto love and good works (and I would say the greatest good work we can do is evangelize and disciple --- this is the heart of God's life of love and thus should be ours, as His disciples.

We're all screwed up if we simply fail to trust and obey; and it's not just the emergents who suffer from this, it's the Western (comfortable) church in general.

my 2 cents.

ZSB said...

Mike Riccardi,

Check out http://www.gutcheckpress.com/kinda/excerpts.html for our response to the "it's dead" comment. We agree (although some certainly don't), but had been wanting to write a "how-to" guide on emergent and McLaren's newest book was the perfect excuse. MAN I WANT THAT HOODIE! Did Turk give us a time-limit on this contest? What if the 100th comment is in August?

bp said...

ZSB, since my birthday is Aug 1st, I think it would only be right to give me the hoodie if it goes that long.

But I have a feeling someone will pull some sort of trick tonight while I'm sleeping (or tomorrow while I'm at work) and nab it right out from under me! (if so, I've got about 50 gently-used coffee mugs I'll trade ya for it)

VcdeChagn said...

Wow, a TeamPyro hoodie? Very nifty.

Don't need it but I'll gladly contribute a post to get it on its way to someone.

I was going to order the book after reading the first few pages on Amazon but they weren't there. I decided to order it anyway.

I love watching a dead horse get what's coming to it! (thanks Mike R for stealing my line. I was going to talk about the dead horse bit..but a certain younger Master's Seminary student beat me to it.)

Mike Riccardi said...

VcdeChagn,

1. Did you / Do you go to Master's?

2. What does your handle mean?

Rachael Starke said...

I can't believe Riccardi's going to win for the only lame, lazy, inarticulate comment he's ever made. Weak.

;)

Susan said...

I lose on word count, but that's okay. I just want to say this:

Frank, you do mean "foreword" and not "forward", right?

Frank Turk said...

Just want to point out to "recreatedinchrist" and all his kin that I did say this in the foreward:

That is, of course, not to say that the objects of the bright lights and shiny sharp objects in this book are the only ones who flub the Christian life. It is to say, though, that these people have made an art of it.

Frank Turk said...

Contest expires Friday (30 April 2010) at about Noon Detroit time, fwiw.

Frank Turk said...

I also want to note that this post is right now rated at below 3 stars, which is obviously a ploy by some faction of internet hooligans to rebuff the effort.

I'm stung, of course, but let the reader decide.

Sir Brass said...

"I'm stung, of course, but let the reader decide."

Now, where have I read that before :P :). Good on ya, Frank :).

Now, here's what I propose: you draw up a "Al Martin is my homeboy" t-shirt as well, and I'll order it :D.

On relevant issues concerning the actual post: I agree, and man that book does sound funny :).

Rob Bailey said...

@sirbrass- Al Martin. He would preach at my church sometimes when I was a kid. A very young kid. All I really remember was flying spit that could reach the 5/6 row of pews, and remembering to make sure to look out for it the next time.

Marie said...

Sounds like a good read! I'll get a copy, too. Thanks for the heads-up.

Stefan said...

My verification word is "Yankel," which is a Yiddish diminutive form of "Jacob."

Jacob had a "kinda" faith in God, until several years' hard labour under Laban put him right.

Sir Brass said...

Rob, that's sad to hear. Al Martin is an excellent preacher. A real pulpit burner, if you will.

Look him up on sermonaudio. That man can proclaim Christ and Him crucified like hardly any other man currently living.

Frank Turk said...

Is the hoodie really just a non-starter? I can't believe we don't have 100 comments already.

DJP said...

Since you introduce "hoodie" as a category, I'll chip in.

I never heard of "hoodies" until Kim Shay introduced me to the term. I wondered if it was something nasty. She enlightened me.

And look... a comet!

(There. Better?)

Stefan said...

Okay. It's curious (not) that one of the characteristics of this "search" for "authentic" "Christianity" is getting all into "ancient traditions," and yet what the Bible plainly speaks to on that is flatly ignored:

Stand by the roads, and look, and ask for the ancient paths, where the good way is; and walk in it, and find rest for your souls. But they said, "We will not walk in it." (Jeremiah 6:16)

And what is "the good way" that we are to walk in?

I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. (John 14:6)

Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. (Matthew 11:29)

What's the most ancient and authentic tradition of all? Simple faith and trust in God through His Son Jesus Christ!

Stefan said...

...And what's notable about those two verses is that in the verses immediately following John 14:6 and in the verse immediately preceding Matthew 11:28-30, the Son proclaims that no one can come to the Father except through Him.

Two different proclamations at two very different times in Jesus Christ's ministry, but the same message.

ZSB said...

I'm so certain that we're not going to hit 100, that I'll also send a free copy of Kinda Christianity to the 100th commenter. And I'll e-mail them the cell phone photo that I surreptitiously take of me and Turk tomorrow at the Detroit Intl Airport!

Trevor said...

80 comments (with this one). Keep it alive folks! The conversations between the Turk-inator and these silly author guys are worth 75 words for sure. :P

DJP said...

Is it true that Bear Grylls declined to write the foreward?








It IS TOO on-topic!

Stefan said...

Germane to the topic:

Behind our local mainline theological college, there are two pieces of public art:

A labyrinth, and a totem pole.

I kid you not.

Don't know if they have any courses in Emergent Studies, though.

ZSB said...

Dan, yes that is accurate. It was the same day that you and Phil declined via form letters.

Stefan said...

Where's the serious discourse, or failing that, the cheap jokes? Nothing more on recreatedChrist's comment on the state of the contemporary Church? I quote Scripture—a Major Prophet, even—to a blog that has more Calvinists per square inch than 1540's Geneva, and not even a peep? Nothing!?

What are you all, a buncha Canadians, who don't want to actually step out of line and strive for something? This is the lamest comment thread ever!

DJP said...

This is the lamest comment thread ever!

Oh no, Stefan, no no no. There you're wrong.

Stefan said...

Oh dear, that is sadly true, isn't it?

It seems that there is an inverse proportional relationship between the number of comments a thread receives, and its similarity in structure and comment to an actual sermon.

You could post "Sinners in the Hands of Angry God," and get maybe two comments. But put up a post on what Jonathan Edwards said about—oh, I don't know, say, invitations or worship hymns (I don't know what he said about those)—and it would turn into a 500-comment free-for-all.

Stefan said...

"Similarity in structure and content," not "comment."

13 comments to go!

Solameanie said...

I suddenly feel like a student in gym class when the drill sergeant-like instructor yells . . . "GRIFFITH! 6079 GRIFFITH, JOEL M! DROP AND GIVE ME 50."

I am known for my lethargic and generally catatonic state. And I hate doing word counts. Can't I just like your review and also like the book when I get a copy?It's much easier.

Solameanie said...

After posting that last sally, I am really, really tempted to Frank this meta. However, that might earn me a detention and possibly a swat.

trogdor said...

"This is the lamest comment thread ever!"

Not even the lamest this week. For one thing, no graphics have needed to be changed because of it.

It's often harder to comment on threads like this or the Colossians/Pastorals threads, or the Spurgeon quotes, because what am I going to add to it? The threads tend to get longest when they're on one of 'those' topics that bring out the usual suspects who need beatdowns. But those also get really annoying.

And we might just be suffering from a bit of emerg* fatigue. It just feels like piling on if we have a 300-comment thread about that movement's fail.

And yet, for all the talk of emerg*'s demise, it'll likely become yet another Hiroo Onoda type of movement, continuing to wreak havoc long after it should have surrendered. Even if it ceases to be organized and celebrated, it's done plenty of damage that will be exceedingly difficult to root out. Emergent Village may fade away, but the emerg* weeds will keep sprouting up in our churches.

Fighting emerg* will be like spiritual Whack-A-Mole.

Frank Turk said...

90 is good. is 100 really so unattainable? If I post comment 100, I'm cancelling the whole shootin' match. HOW'S THAT?!

DJP said...

It was the same day that you and Phil declined via form letters.

Did Phil use his SpongeBob stationery, or the one with the meat chub?

Trevor said...

@trogdor Hiroo Onoda? What is that?

Also: TROOOOOGDOOOOOORRRR!!! BURNINATING THE EMERGENT CHURCH! BURNINATING THE POMOS! BURNINATING ALL THE LAME-OS IN THEIR SMUG IVORY TOWERSSSS!!!

DJP said...

Occurs to me, I could go for #100... and if someone else gets it, I could delete him!

Cool! POWAH!

trogdor said...

That's what the googles are for.

(94)

DJP said...

I like Trevor's avatar... except it makes me suspect every one of his comments of having a hidden... you know... what's the word I want?

Stefan said...

What's a Greco-Latin modifier for "First Great Awakening?" I finally have a label myself, a la "CalviDispieBaptoGelical."

Trevor said...

Would the emergent say that counting to 100 is far too rigid and credal? (spellcheck that one)

"Oh all you old orthodox evil conservative Christians insist on using concrete numbers when us Emergents like to feel out and pray when we think we are around 100. Pharisees. "

Comment is lame. But I'm tryin to fight the POWAH.

Stefan said...

PrimaMagnaExpergisco?

ProtoMegaAphupnisto?

Trevor said...

I think I would like to purchase this book at some point. Question: Is it mainly satire or does it actually get serious?

Does this qualify as on topic?

Stefan said...

If this is the hundredth comment, I'll eat my hat. Except I don't have a hat, although I once owned a fedora. And when did it become unfashionable for men to wear hats in public? Some time in the 70s, judging by period movies and TV shows. I wouldn't mind if wearing a hat, tie, and coat were still the norm. I saw a picture of the New York Abstract Expressionists from the late 40s—all artists—and they were all wearing jackets and ties.

Trevor said...

Hmm, my last comment showed 100 at the top of the page.

Oh and Dan, I can assure that this is not a clever ruse. Was that the word you were looking for? ;-)

DJP said...

Not so much.

The answer can be found at my blog, though.

trogdor said...

"We should be looking up to guys like Donald Miller who can’t be bothered to join with other believers for worship..."

I don't recall being aware of this about Miller. It's really a shame to hear, because of all the emerg* stuff I've subjected myself to, his books were the least obviously objectionable. But how could he possibly be taken seriously as a 'Christian' if he's blatantly disobedient to the most basic command? How can he instruct the body he avoids being a part of?

trogdor said...

By the way, love the hatemail address.

Stefan said...

Trevor: You did post the hundredth comment, which you craftily snuck in before I could hit the "Publish" button.

Now I don't have to eat my hat after all.

Trevor said...

I forgot about the hatemail address! That was hilarious.

Stefan: I am glad that I presumably relieved you from that. I would hate to see a perfectly fine hat undergo an OM NOM NOMing.

Solameanie said...

And nobody got my nod to Orwell's "1984." What an illiterate bunch.

Stefan said...

Ohhhhhhhhhhh...

Yeah, that's sad. We get Lucas more easily than Orwell.

Doubleplusungood.

bp said...

I knew someone would sneak in and pull the hoodie right out from under me before I got home from work! And thanks ZSB! If I'd have known ahead of time that a picture of a couple guys I don't even know sitting around an airport was gonna be thrown in, I'd have called in sick! Geez, that was real fair adding that in while I was at work!

Susan said...

"Foreward", Frank and Dan? (Frank in his post-spelling-revision post and Dan in his comment toward the end of the meta.) Nope. Sorry. Look at it again. Should be "foreword".

(You should give all your spell checkers prizes!! I'm just sayin'....)

Frank Turk said...

I'll try to clean up the winners' announcements tonight after work.

Take that, Zach.

ZSB said...

Wa-BAM!

I just want everyone to know that it says "Foreword" on the actual book...

Trevor said...

Keep us posted Turkinator. (That sounds like a possible unfortunate nickname for E. Caner... >.<)

JustMe said...

Well. It would have been nice to have won either the mug or the hoodie for my first post. I did order "Kinda Christianity" as well as "Why We Aren't Emergent." Both should arrive today.

Our church dipped its toe into something probably out of the emergent playbook with a service called "Liquid" on Thursday nights. It was meant to attract a younger crowd. It was supposed to be more of a spiritual time together - a discussion if you will. Candles, colored lights, flowing water fountain.

It didn't work.

Stefan said...

This is turning into Waiting for Godot.

Trevor said...

Any word on the mug-tastical and hoodie-rific contest winners Frank?

christianesk said...

Yeah, baby, yeahh! This is the kind of honesty I'm talking about. Telling it like it is and naming names as required - hey, the Apostle Paul named the false teachers - see 1 Timothy 1:20; 2 Timothy 2:17; 2 Timothy 4:14-15. In this way the ignorant are made aware, and maybe the liars will wake up and shut up. Better still repent and be baptised into the one true Faith of Jesus Christ. Even so, only those who have ears to hear will hear - this is always the way. False teachers beware. We are rising up in truth and you shall be exposed in God's appointed time - the Spirit and the Word shall see to that, and I sure hope to be out there along with Ted and the rest of the TRUTH seekers, right on the cutting edge. Hate the lie, love the Truth!