The Struggle for Assurance

by Dan Phillips

We get letters

I have a general (and well-known) rule of thumb for a wide variety of questions that folks write to me. My first question is, "What did your pastor tell you?" Because while I may be a pastor, I'm not your pastor, and you need to be personally involved in a local church and under toe-to-toe pastoral oversight. I'm not that guy. When I don't get a response, that is usually the end of the conversation. One letter came to me from someone in great despair, struggling with depression and lack of assurance. As I would always do in such a case, I pointed him to his pastoral leadership Thank God, and bless his heart, he followed that counsel, contacted his church leadership, and began getting some help. I continued praying for him, and followed up, asking from time to time how he was doing. It's not an easy road, and in one particular email he shared that he struggled badly with assurance of salvation. In this correspondence, I realized that I haven't said much about my own struggles, beyond an allusion here and there. The causes of reluctance are many. Largely, there's a level of transparency we do, and do not do, here, tempered by what is to God's glory and our readers' good. Nobody comes (nor should come) here wanting to hear more about me as an individual, what I'm feeling, and blah blah blah. It ain't American Idol. Yet, writing this person, I thought of what encouragement I've received in reading Spurgeon's candid words about his own bitter battles with depression, in particular; and how richly he is able to speak to me (and countless masses), as a result. I recall hearing an excellent sermon of Phil's, in which he mentioned how he responded when depression crossed his path. I could go on, but it's heartening to find such a point of connection with someone, when you might imagine otherwise. The 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 principle forms a motivating imperative, which pressed on me as I thought about it, overcoming my reluctance. So I thought it might be helpful to share one of my edited emails with you, as an opening sally on the subject. Then we'll see how it goes.

_____, as I alluded, what you lay out actually has been a huge struggle for me, at one time or another, for my entire Christian life.

While the same grounds of assurance are provided to all Christians, it seems to me that the degree to which one emotionally enjoys assurance varies from person to person, as temperaments vary from person to person. Some people hear the word of promise, accept it, are saved, know it, and never look back. Blessed souls! Wish I were one of them.

Others, not so much. Like Thomas, they hear the same joyous news; but like Thomas, they are slow to believe. It isn't a virtue, but it's their reality, our reality.

Then other people are absolutely assured, without the least doubt... and they really, really shouldn't be.

I spent the first months, perhaps years, of my Christian life in terror that I'd fall away. It was a wrenching struggle. The Holy Spirit had so revealed my sin to me that I knew I was capable of anything, apostasy not the least. I saw myself in every "soil" except the fourth, in every warning in Hebrews, and of course in the unpardonable sin.

I still don't always feel the sense of assurance that I believe is a Christian's birthright. But I strive for it. I know from experience how hard it can be to feel that you can't do anything, if you don't have Square A settled: can I, or can I not, assuredly call God my Father?

Here's some of what I've come to see, though.

Assurance is a matter of faith, as is everything else (at bottom) in the Christian life.

Think it through with me: God tells me I'm a sinner. I believe Him. God tells me Christ is my only hope. I believe Him. God tells me I must repent and trust in Christ. I believe Him in that, too. God tells me I must trust Christ alone, and not lean on works or any other false hope. I believe Him in that, and I do it.

But Christ also tells me that if I come to Him, He will not cast me out (John 6:37). He tells me if I believe in the Lord Jesus, I will be saved (Acts 16:31). He tells me no power in heaven or on earth can part me from Him and doom me (John 10:28-29; Romans 8:38-39).

Now, my attitude has sometimes been, "I will believe that when I feel assured of it" — but do you see the trap in that thinking? Jesus told Martha that, if she believed, she would see the glory of God (John 11:40). Not the reverse.

So, _____, my game plan is to bank on Jesus' word of promise, regardless of my feelings, with no Plan B. He said come (Matthew 11:30-31). By grace, I came. He said, if you come, there's no way I'm casting you away (John 6:37). I plan to take that one to the Throne. He said. Is there a better basis? He said!

And then I saw Romans 15:13 — "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope." God gives joy and peace. Thank God. How does He give joy and peace? In believing. But wait — I'll believe when I feel joy and peace! That will tell me I'm really a child, an elect child of God!

"No," Paul would say to me, to you: "you have it backwards. You don't get joy and peace, and then believe. Believe, and then you will know joy and peace."

I hope those truths are of some help to you. They've been lifesavers to me. Maybe take it to your counselor, who (unlike me) knows you. See if he finds something there he can use in encouraging you.

I hope so!

In Christ,

Dan

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In future posts, I may focus on some of the threats to or enemies of assurance, and how Biblically to do battle with doubts.

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