01 December 2010

I got nothin'

by Frank Turk

Not even a "best of".


117 comments:

CR said...

I felt sorry for you so I gave you a 5 star rating for your post.

Stefan said...

In the face of a holy and righteous God, all any of us have to offer is sweet nothin'.

Colin Maxwell said...

I love honesty. At least, you didn't waffle on and still say nothing.

Keep her lit,

Eddie Eddings said...

I thought I could come up with something witty...but, I got nothin'...

Tom Chantry said...

...who could ask for anything more?

Stan McCullars said...

What this post means to me...

DJP said...

Where's the "50 words or less" tag?

JackW said...

Whats a Gadfly to do?

Daryl said...

Best. Post. Never.

...nuthin' from nuthin' leaves nuthin', you gotta have sumthin' if you're gonna be with me...

Tom said...

Frank,

Your nothing is more meaningful than DJP's something. ;-)

Tom

word verification: eprods... if they're anything like emerods, no thanks.

Sir Aaron said...

Old mother Hubbard's cupboard is bare. It been that way at your personal blog for a while.....

You getting burnt out?

Bob Johnson said...

"A man's got to know his limitations" - Harry Callahan, Magnum Force

Scooter said...

I jumped on the bandwagon and gave you 5 stars too.

donsands said...

Here's a quote I read last night:

“Knowing God without knowing our own wretchedness makes for pride. Knowing our own wretchedness without knowing God makes for despair. Knowing Jesus Christ strikes the balance because he shows us both God and our own wretchedness.”-Blaise Pascal

That's about all I have this 1st morn of December.

Allen said...

Here's my opportunity to ask you a question.
I'd be interested in your thoughts on how Neil Postman's book, "Amusing Ourselves to Death" relates to the internet. What are the warnings we need to be made aware of?

Mike said...

...and Jesus has everything.

Thanks for wise word.

Michael Adams said...

Me to...

Strong Tower said...

A Christmas prophecy?

You have one talent, and you're gonna bury it? What, you think we're harsh task masters? To the outer darkness with ye!

What's amazazzing, to quote Richard, is that your post garnered more responses than DJP's esselent Think.

But cheer up, Cent, you're full of stuff. I'm sure there's some thoughtful wittle you have yet to jot and tittle.

A wittle help from your friends: Who is Black Peter? Was Santa a leftist? Was Carl Groucho's brother or just Grumpy?

I suppose we could treat the title as one of those cryptogrammies. We're supposed to answer with a quote or sumpin, like:

Nothing in my mind I bring, simply to this blog I cling.

The Blainemonster said...

Blogging ex nihilo.

DJP said...

Frank makes it look easy.

Robert said...

Actually, Frank's got the most comments all week so far. People must be having a hard time getting back into the swing of things after the holiday.

Strong Tower said...

One thing about Pyro is that even when there is no new log on the fire people still gather around the residual warmth.

Becky, slave of Christ said...

I love how the Pyroleans have been able to draw out spiritual truth from a five-word post with a three-word title, Frank.

You could always write about your vacation.

Frank Turk said...

And it's only lunch time in the States.

100 comments or bust, dudes.

Sonja said...

Did anyone make Frank's stuffing recipe, and if so, how was it?

Ahhh, fellowshipping whilst thinking about food.

Halcyon said...

100 comments? Let's do it.

Someone say "Manhattan Declaration". I dare you. 8^D

(word verification: bless

God Bless You, and Merry Christmas.)

Solameanie said...

And I thought I was a slacker.

Larry Geiger said...

It all belongs to Him.
You got nothin, he's got everything.

"You are not your own; you were bought at a price."

"For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him."

Merrilee Stevenson said...

"Nothing. Zilch. Nada."

Merrilee Stevenson said...

"Nothing. Zilch. Nada."

Merrilee Stevenson said...

"Nothing."

Merrilee Stevenson said...

"Zilch."

Merrilee Stevenson said...

"NOODLE!"

St.Lee said...

33 comments already on a post that is a self proclaimed "nothing." That is awesome!

donsands said...

how about "best of" Mannheim Steamroller - Joy to the World.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=68j6Ceof8QQ&feature=related

(That is if you like this sort of music)

Mike Westfall said...

I'm just wondering if Frank will be able to derail this meta...

Rachael Starke said...

I got rhythm.

Rachael Starke said...

"Nothing comes from nothing; nothing ever coooouuuuuld...."

Rachael Starke said...

"I got nothin,' nothin', nothiiiiin',

if I don't got yoooooooou"

Rachael Starke said...

Y'know, on reflection, the theology on that Sound of Music song is really, really, REALLY bad. But it's in most Christians top ten lists of movies. What gives?

wordsmith said...

I got plenty o' nothing....

Stefan said...

Okay. I just learned about the following last night, 5 minutes before I saw Frank's post—a post looking for comments—but I've been sitting on it.

I'm posting this NOT to make light of the person in question, but because I recognized something that I've sometimes seen in my own attitude towards God.

Anyhow...

I am not a football fan, but Buffalo Bill player Steve Johnson tweeted this after a fumbled pass on Sunday:

"I PRAISE YOU 24/7!!!!!! AND THIS HOW YOU DO ME!!!!! YOU EXPECT ME TO LEARN FROM THIS??? HOW???!!! ILL NEVER FORGET THIS!! EVER!!! THX THO..."

The sad thing is, there've been times when most (all?) of us have been tempted to think or pray something very similar to this.

To be fair, 23 hours and 59 minutes later, he gave God the glory with this follow-up:

"I learned A lot Within 24hrs. Saw Both Sides.(Ups&Dwns) I AM HAPPY & THANKFUL 4 YESTERDAY! w/out Sunday iWldnt have grew closer w/The Lord!!"

And:

"And No I Did Not Blame God People! Seriously??!? CMon! I Simply Cried Out And Asked Why? Jus Like yal did wen sumthin went wrong n ur life!"

That's true. We all do that. I've done that.

Stefan said...

Anyhow, I think it's awesome, because he totally worked through the Sovereignty of God in 3 tweets!

Daisy said...

Priceless.

And Stefan's comment has me laughing out loud. Awesome.

donsands said...

And there's this guy who knows nothing:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=34ag4nkSh7Q

DJP said...

45+ comments on a five-word post saying he has nothing to post.

I work 'way, 'way too hard.

.c8

Eric said...

Dan,

Quality beats quantity every time.

David Regier said...

In case you're interested, this is how I learned how to breathe underwater.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iiwja7syyeo

DJP said...

Wow.

Mike Westfall said...

Regier is certainly talented.

GrammaMack said...

Halfway there!

trogdor said...

Whoooooooah, we're halfway there.

Whoa-Oh! Livin' on a prayer!

Stefan said...

Dan:

You know that the number of comments is inversely proportional to the length of the post. Consider how much discussion some of your "Next!" or "What Jesus Did (Not) Say" posts have generated.

I believe the formula is:

c = [P * (1/w) * F] / S^2

Where:

C = the number of comments
P = the Pyro constant
w = is the word count
F = the Frank multiplier

and

S^2 (S-squared) = is the Sunday Spurgeon divisor, which reduces the total number of comments by a factor of 4.

DJP said...

OK, then.

Robert said...

Yeah...I didn't quite get the lack of comments on the WDJ(N)S complete post. I'm still attributing it to people recovering from Thanksgiving.

word verification: inging

Sir Aaron said...

There was theology in the Sound of Music (and it's one of my favorites).

Ma ~ said...

Count me in!

CR said...

I did forget to say that this is one of the most rude and mean spirited post produced by Pryo.

Oh, yeah, and let me say this: Manhattan Declaration. {ok, sorry that was mean}.

Stefan said...

Robert:

And the verification word that came up for me is "angsti"!

That's so 20th century, though. Does do "angst" any more? It doesn't fit in a "whatever, dude" and "God just wants to make you healthy and wealthy" kind of world.

Stefan said...

I meant, "Does anyone do 'angst' any more?"

Sharon said...

Did you know "Jingle Bells" originally was written as a Thanksgiving song?

No, really!

Merlin said...

OK, I'll play. It's a worthy cause.

Magister Stevenson said...

Nullum etiam habeo, Framk.

mike said...

I think this post deserves a really substantive comment. Or not.

Mark | hereiblog said...

Best post ever, Frank.

Holy said...

Can there be a "best of" when you only write crap?

donsands said...

Did you know "Jingle Bells" originally was written as a Thanksgiving song?-Sharon

Cool.

Here's a couple guys who croon a tune, when they sing Jingle Bells.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wbW64J_RJZg

Mike Westfall said...

"That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we looked upon and have touched with our hands, concerning the word of life--" 1 Jn 1:1 ESV

That's my memory verse for today. Starting today, a group of us on Facebook are memorizing the book of 1 John, 1 verse a day. So far I'm doing well...

donsands said...

Hey "holy", what's up with you man. And who are you, a coward I guess.

ZSB said...

Q: What do you call a guy who posts "I got nothin" and gets 70 comments?

A: Frank freaking Turk.

I salute you.

ZSB said...

Also, to the guy whose self-designation is "Holy..." I am here on behalf of the Internet, and we would like you to go away.

Sir Brass said...

ZSB, agreed on the last post. Though I think Holy actually gets Frank's post best b/c his comment embodies the value Frank expressed in his blog post here...


Nothin', absolutely nothin'.

This is one of the more fun metas I've read in a while :).

RealityCheck said...

“100 comments or bust, dudes”

Piece of cake… unless of course, the old earther’s or Arminian’s mess it up. ;-)

RealityCheck said...

“Can there be a "best of" when you only write crap?”

In your case Holy…ah… no!

Stan McCullars said...

This post has legs!

allen said...

A verbal pauper...with several charitable friends.

Merrilee Stevenson said...

Finally! We've reached that critical point in any good Pyro comment thread when someone makes a snarky remark and then everyone teams up on him. All we need now are a few deleted comments followed by an apology or two, and we'll be right on target to reach the long-awaited 100- mark.

Merrilee Stevenson said...

By the way, no one seemed to pick up my earlier comments. Can anyone tell me what movie they are from?

Brian Roden said...

This thread is following in the grand tradition of Seinfeld, a show about nothing that had high ratings.

"No soup for you!"

Word verification: creci
Which is Spanish means, "I grew"
That's what I want to be able to say every day.

RealityCheck said...

“Can anyone tell me what movie they are from?”

No... I haven't watched Veggie tales in years.

http://www.watchonlinemovie.biz/videos-veggie-tales-jonah-movie-bloopers-%5B3z8i7ALYTmc%5D.cfm

@1:58

;-)

Tim said...

Did somebody mention waffles?

James Joyce said...

I've always admired the conciseness(?) of your writing.

There are people who have written whole books just to say that.

Mike Westfall said...

Frank Lied.

"I got nothin'" he writes.

LIE!

What he's got is a large fanboi group that will comment on his got-nothingness...

If only the rest of us had so much nothing.

Terry Rayburn said...

Hey! I'm comment 100!

Oh, no...wait.

Terry Rayburn said...

Hey! I'm comment 100!

Oh, no...wait.

Terry Rayburn said...

Hey! I'm comment 100!

Oh, no...wait.

Terry Rayburn said...

All right, I quit.

Robert said...

What an excellent point. I mean, God really owns it all, doesn't He? We're just stewards, as it is. So, I got nothin', too!

8o)

Dr Bill said...

I would like to contribute nothing to your personal worship this morning.

"For nothing good have I
Whereby Thy grace to claim.
I'll wash my garments white
In the blood of Calvary's Lamb."

Or

"My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus' blood and righteousness..."

And while we're at it:

"Nothing but the blood of Jesus"

And finally, for Advent: "Ponder nothing earthly minded..." (Let All Mortal Flesh Keep Silence).

WV: impec
Meaning an impeccable comment added to an impeccable post!

GrammaMack said...

So close! The suspense is killing me...

RealityCheck said...

On second thought…

“I got nothin’” with the only label being… “centurion”.

Matthew 8:5-13

And when he was entered into Capernaum, there came unto him a centurion, beseeching him, and saying, Lord, my servant lieth in the house sick of the palsy, grievously tormented. And he saith unto him, I will come and heal him. And the centurion answered and said, Lord, I am not worthy that thou shouldest come under my roof; but only say the word, and my servant shall be healed. For I also am a man under authority, having under myself soldiers: and I say to this one, Go, and he goeth; and to another, Come, and he cometh; and to my servant, Do this, and he doeth it. And when Jesus heard it, he marvelled, and said to them that followed, Verily I say unto you, I have not found so great faith, no, not in Israel. And I say unto you, that many shall come from the east and the west, and shall sit down with Abraham, and Isaac, and Jacob, in the kingdom of heaven: but the sons of the kingdom shall be cast forth into the outer darkness: there shall be the weeping and the gnashing of teeth. And Jesus said unto the centurion, Go thy way; as thou hast believed, so be it done unto thee. And the servant was healed in that hour.

IOW, we, like the centurion, need nothing but to believe and He will do the rest.

Great post Frank!
;-)

Merrilee Stevenson said...

Reality Check WINS THE PRIZE!

(Which, of course, is...)


Nothing.


And those "Pirates Who Don't Do Anything" trio remind me a lot of those Pyros who don't do anything. For some strange reason, we can't help but love 'em, even when they don't do anything.

thomastwitchell said...

Impeccable!

Das da troof!

Despite Holy's scatological criticism, and not to raise a stink, there is really nothing to criticize.

The theological import, sweeping as it might have been intended, might also be considered in the vein that it cannot be contested, really. And that is a breath of fresh air. We are all to used to peccatating apart what is written, that even when there is nothing to peck at, some will find it irresistable jut a beak.

Reflecting on DJP's posts on Jesus and perspicuity, that is where we, including believers and non-believers alike, find ourselves most adroit. It typically doesn't matter that "it is written," our default is to find fault. Thing is, where we might attempt to analyze Frank's self-image and infer that he is suffering from low self-esteem, what he has said, in and of itself, cannot be criticized. It states exactly what was the case at the point of his hitting the return. It stops us precisely because we cannot add, nor subtract, but must, at face value accept what was said. Now that is something easily understood, and will stand for what it said, abjection, for which the only source of truth was the speaker himself. Ummm

I don't know, but it is interesting how it is that we might accept the categorical, unequivocal frank statement of a man most of us have never met. But when confronted with the Word of God incarnate who we have never seen, and with which we also cannot rangle, we find ways to do so.

Dr Bill said...

Thomas, your incisive observations are only diffident at the conclusion, for they stop just shy of applying a theological truth that should be convicting to each and every one of us: we will accept as truth the pithy frank confession of a man never beholden to our eyes, but resist the words of Divine authority revealed through holy writ simply because we are all, regardless of era, geography, or age when confronted by such truth, blinded by our fallenness, being consumed with our own pleasures and self-importance, the only antidote to which is the election, calling, grace, and gift of faith given to all of the true children of God.

There. Now we can finally pass 100 (maybe 200) by turning this into a tussle over Calvinism and the fineries of total depravity, election, and irresistible grace (et al).

Dr Bill said...

That first sentence had 110 words. Should have been longer.

:O)

St.Lee said...

I can't believe that I come back here a day later and still the comment count hasn't reach 100? Maybe it was much ado about nothing. (apologies if someone beat me to that and I missed it)

Stefan said...

Yes, Mr. Turk has Mr. Turk has brilliantly expressed succinctly a la Hemingway, the sitz im leben of the existential angst-ridden man of 20th century society, as first foreshadowed by Matthew Arnold (Dover Beach) and Samuel Becket (Waiting for Godot), but most adroitly and poignantly expressed in the works of Sartre and Camus, whereby we ponder a world in which it is posited that there is no supreme deity, and thereby stare into the vast abyss of meaninglessness and purposelessness, ameliorated only by fleeting indulgences in transitory pleasures, ephemeral in their temporal scope and ultimately unsatisfactory.

By deploying the concept of non-possession or non-existence—first symbolized by the ancient Indians in their formulation of the concept of the number zero—Mr. Turk compels the reader to ponder the emptiness of his own life and see that he, too, has nothin'—still lest a "best of"—and catalyzes in his audience a dystopic catharsis of self-realization into nothingness.

greglong said...

1. Nothing is better than a juicy steak, cooked medium rare.

greglong said...

2. Frank's post is better than nothing.

greglong said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
greglong said...

3. Therefore, Frank's post is better than a juice steak, cooked medium-rare.

Stefan said...

Greg, you got to comment 98, comment 99, and then comment 100 was...

Comment deleted!?

Was that a joke? If so, well played!

thomastwitchell said...

"Therefore, Frank's post is better than a juice steak, cooked medium-rare."

At the nursing home we get those juice steaks all the time and if you put catsup in them they appear medium rare.

Stefan, you silver-tongued sprite, you.

Merrilee Stevenson said...

...once we get the snarkiness apologies printed and the last-ditch efforts to drive home the point of the original post, then all we need is the author of the post to shut down the combox. This is nearly perfect.

Here's my favorite comment, from early on, by Strong Tower:

"One thing about Pyro is that even when there is no new log on the fire people still gather around the residual warmth."

Stefan said...

Merrilee:

Yeah, I liked that comment of his, too.

RealityCheck said...

Yipppyyyyy... I'm the 100th comment!

What?... Huh?... Oh...

Never mind.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3FnpaWQJO0

Stefan said...

Frank, are you a crypto-Buddhist? Because the highest, supreme epistemological reality of Buddhism is actually "nothingness" (or "emptiness").

There's a long post at Wikipedia about it. Clearly, however, its contributors have not yet truly understood sunyata, because if they were truly enlightened, the article would just be a blank page.

Dr Bill said...

http://www.nothing.com/

ZSB said...

The best part is that Frank didn't even pop his head back in to see this meta unfold. That's the blogger equivalent of the action hero not looking back at the explosion. TURK = the JASON STATHAM of blogging.

Stefan said...

Good one.

But as good as Jason Statham is, surely you mean that Frank Turk is the Chuck Norris of blogging.

candy said...

Your verisimilitude is suspended.

Steve B said...

Soooo...we've devolved from Calvinist fundamentalism to kabbalistic numerology?

MAN, how the mighty have fallen! And I even missed post 111! By 1!

Clearly I'm a terrible numerologist. Guess I'll stick with Calvinism.

Merlin said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Merlin said...

"And the poets out here don't write nothing at all,
they just stand back and let it all be...."

The Boss

Jim Pemberton said...

I'm amazed at the power of sociological context. There are hundreds of GOOD Christian bloggers who could write the same thing Frank did and not generate the response found here.

Thomas Louw said...

Your post was so short I didn't even see it when I surfed by.
And I missed all this fun.
I'm to fast for my own good.

trogdor said...

"There are hundreds of GOOD Christian bloggers who could write the same thing Frank did and not generate the response found here."

Which is just further confirmation that Frank is an exceptional Christian blogger.