04 March 2009

What He Must Read

by Frank Turk
About three years ago (I think) my friend johnMark linked me to a talk by this fellow who was railing on against the popular model of youth ministry, the popular conception of family and success, the myth of the Southern Baptist Convention, and the necessity of the Gospel for the church. For some, I am sure, the message sounded like complete madness, but to me, it was amazing.

The speaker was Voddie Baucham Jr., and I became an instant fan. The problem was that Pastor Baucham sort of fell off the face of evangelidom. He did one thing with John Piper, and there was something else I can't remember, and he wrote another book about family-centered faith models. So while I expected him to be some kind of "next big thing" (especially in the circles I am sort of involved in or looking over the fence into), it turns out he was more interested in being a husband, father, and pastor -- to which I say, "may his tribe increase."

But then about 4 weeks ago Crossway sent me this book you see pictured at here at the top of the post titled What He Must Be, which Pastor Baucham wrote. And the topic is, well, startling -- because the full title is What He Must Be . . . If He Wants to Marry My Daughter.

Aha!

Now, at this point, I am supposed to write a review of this book and whatever -- and if I disagreed with the book, of course it would break into a six-part autopsy of the body. But fortunately for all of us, this is not that kind of review.

But here's the thing: I'm actually in the middle of this year-long series on what the Pastor should be, and this book has dropped into the middle of my study. So in that, I'm going to make a brief connection to that topic, then give you the breakdown on this book which is probably in the top three books of the last 50 years on marriage and the call to being a husband. (the other two, for the easily-distracted, are Sacred Marriage and, in spite of the associated TV show, Marriage on the Rock)

You know, Paul tells Titus that the one who would be an elder should be "above reproach" and have "children who are believers". And in that description (which we will get back to in the long run), what we find is the nut from which this book about what kind of young man we should seek out for our daughters grows into a kind of oak tree of spiritual instruction.



In my view, the book has two clear faults: it has no scripture reference in the back (note to Crossway: add it to the second edition), and the sociological vision of chapter 2 was, I thought, too loosely-secular. It was really a compilation of statistics about marriage -- and let's be frank: nobody doubts today that marriage as an institution today is on the rocks, floundering as the church sort of looks on morosely. But even if it wasn't, or we didn't know it, that would be irrelevant to the point at-hand, which is what the Bible calls men to be.

But I can't say this clearly enough: you have to overlook those faults to get into this book and grab a robust view of the role of a husband and a father -- both from the perspective of what you personally ought to be in your family, and what you ought to seek out in and mentor into young men who think they want something to do with young women, especially the young women in your family.

I started out with a pad of post-it notes as I crossed over into Chapter 3, afraid I was going to get let down by this book because of Chapter 2 -- and instead I found myself wall-papering its interior with notes for quotes. The rich theology is both accessible and convicting; the common sense and fatherly perspective make the book frankly-engrossing.

Pastor Baucham covers the bases of biblical manhood: patriarchy, Christ-likeness, leadership, fatherliness, and what he calls "the 4 P's" (read the book to find out what that means). This is a book about reclaiming the role of men in our families, our churches and our society -- and I say, "Lay it on, my friend!"

There's nothing sort of subtle about this book, and that is a strong compliment. Let me put it this way: non-fiction comes in three categories, more or less -- the descriptive, the instructive, and the "convictive". A descriptive book tells you that something was done, or is being done -- like a history book, or a biography -- and can be entertaining or somewhat instructive. An instructive book tells you how something can be done -- one perspective on the tactics involved, like Joe Carter's book on how to argue persuasively -- and is totally useful and serviceable. The "convictive" book doesn't just tell you about what happens or has happened, and doesn't just talk about how to do it: it seeks to show you why this stuff it is talking about is important, and moves you from being an observer to being a practitioner because your heart is in it.

Voddie Baucham practices what he's preaching here, and he wants you to do it, too. In that sense, it is a deeply pastoral book -- seeking to make disciples of men, to be doers of the word and not just hearers only. Read this book, and then read it again, and then tear out the chapters and make little booklets of them so you can share them in small groups, and then start teaching this stuff to your sons so they can be this kind of men. And then teach it to your daughters so they kind find these kind of men.

Very good book. In fact, I think so much of it I want to give one away. Here's the deal: in the meta -- the "comments" for you blog-noobs -- I want you to tell me, in 50 words or less, why you or your family or your church needs this book. You can start posting immediately, but only post once (if you post twice, you're out of consideration). You can post here until end of the day Friday (Midnight my time; that's 10 PM left-coast time), and I'll review the entries and award a book on Monday to the best answer.

And if you don't win one, just buy one. This book is worth every penny, and you will read it more than once.








116 comments:

David Ould said...

Frank.
We need this book out here in the little church I help pastor in Australia because otherwise all the good stuff stays in the US! Plus my own daughter turns 5 next week and reading this is probably more helpful than locking her in her room for the next, say, 35 years.

Big A said...

Thanks Frank for this review. The book is definitely on my "to read list" now. Here are my 50 words why I need this book:

I just had a daughter and pray for wisdom to model and teach what a husband should be.

My sister, after years of bad relationships, is seeking biblical wisdom from me.

I teach high School Sunday school with boys and girls who have no clue what a biblical man is.

Doug Hibbard said...

You make a reference to Dr. Baucham's disappearing from evangelidom. Part of that came from the fact that he was more interested in preaching the Word than making Lifeway happy. And if Lifeway ain't happy, and they've got your book deal, you're in trouble.

He's got a good blog, too.

Do I want this book? Yes. But I'll buy one with my next free Amazon.com gift certificate.

Sheldon said...

I would love to read this book. Here is why:

1. I have 3 daughters from age 8 to 5 months

2. As a family pastor I see the results of incorrect views of fatherhood and marriage ruining lives.

3. I also have a son who I desire to become a Godly man and husband.

Frank Turk said...

Doug --

Ain't it a shame what we Baptists do to each other? There is no question this is one of the greatest shames of the convention and its political superstructure -- that we prefer to publish pablum and moralistic lectures rather than substantive and actually-helpful Biblical guidance.

Ugh.

eastendjim said...

1. I have an 8 year old daughter who will need to know "What He Must Be".

2. I have a 5 year old son who will need to know "What He Must Be".

3. I am a man who needs to become "What He Must Be..." for my wife, children and His glory.

candy said...

I also recommend a dvd of Baucham teaching about education and it is called "Children of Caesar". Excellent!

I need this book because I teach a class of 5th and 6th graders. Many of their parents attend wimpy churches and I take my role of teacher seriously.

Not only do I teach them academics, I daily teach them biblical truth. I consider that I have them for a short time and what I impart to them is extremely important as they enter their teens. Probably many of them will attend secular middle schools and high schools, and I fear for their future.

corinthian said...

Frank,
My church has 80 kids under the age of 11 ( out of 220 total) so the book could be a help to many. Personally I have an 8 year old girl and an 11 year old boy, so I need help there. As A youth pastor, I work with young men and women seeking to define themselves in this world. Finally, I never keep books, I pass them along, so a freebie would just keep on giving...

Mike said...

Heh. As soon as I read the "50 words or less" bit I thought to myself- "I'm no writer, but I have a wife, a daughter, and myself, all of whom need to read this book." I figured I'd post those in the comments in numerical order, but here I am to find that I've been beaten to the punch not once, but three times! So, here is my real contest entry:

I have the same reasons as the other guys (wife, daughter, self), but I'm slower to articulate my thoughts and thus will need all the help I can get in such matters.

There it is. No crushing logical argument, just a shameless plea based on sympathy. Ain't that pathetic? (oh look! poor grammar _and_ self-pity, those are two more reasons to pick me!)

JackW said...

Could you just send it to my daughter?

olan strickland said...

Frank,

Thanks for the heads-up on Voddie's book. Just in case some haven't heard him preach, this would be a good sermon to start with. But first (before the link) some background: In February of 2006, a group of more than 1,000 pastors and church leaders gathered for the Southern Baptist of Texas State Evangelism Conference in the Dallas/Fort Worth Metroplex. During the second night of the conference Voddie Baucham, who had preached at the previous year's conference, was called upon to stand in for Dr. Tim LaHaye who had become ill a few days earlier. No one was ready for what happened next.

The Centrality of the Home

A Jam C said...

During my young naive years, I wanted to be a "somebody" in the Christian world. Now, I'm recently married, and my greatest desire out of anything is to have many children who will grow up fearing the Lord.

Also

I'm surrounded by too many Christians who don't share my desire.

VcdeChagn said...

I really like Voddie Baucham Jr. I really enjoy his discussion of Philosophy 101 :)

As for why I need the book. Four words:

I have five sons

But I'll buy it myself. I can afford it (and in this economy, it's a true blessing).

Frank Turk said...

For all the people from Crossway (and other ECPA groups) reading this thread, take note: there is a massive need in the church for books like this one.

Stop serving Kool Aid in the marketplace. Get the Gospel right, and apply it liberally to family and church.

Fred Butler said...

I just curious as to whose ear you had to pour honey so as to have Crossway send you free books unsolicited?

Frank Turk said...

Fred --

I know people. I'm not a rock star like Phil, but I know people.

And the "free book" statement is a disclaimer so that there's no hint of weirdness. If one buys a book and reviews it, that's one thing; if one gets it as a promotional item, I think it's right to disclose that one did get the book for free -- especially when one is gushing all over the book.

December Sun Blog said...

I've been looking forward to this book as well for several reasons, not least of which is that I have four young daughters of my own.

Pastor Baucham is a remarkable pastor, and one of our many blessings is that he's a teaching elder at Grace Family Baptist in Spring, Texas, where we live.

danny2 said...

Frank,

Four reasons:

Rachel Nicole and Karis Hope

(my two daughters)

and

Ezekiel James and Malachi Joel

(my two sons)

Frank Turk said...

Olan -- that link you gave is the same talk I linked to in my intro.

:-)

Stuart B said...

I'm a 23 year old student working through school just to finish my undergrad; I know God has called me to teach and minister as I am heavily involved in campus evangelism; God has also put a special woman in my life who I believe he wants me to marry, but first I need to learn to be a man and also lose 100 lbs.

60 words, I think...lol.

Aliens and Exiles said...

Thanks for the review!! Here's mine:

I am a father to four daughters (and two boys) and the youth group I minister to is comprised of 15 girls and 2 boys! I could use the extra help in instructing all of them!!

Tom Pilarski said...

Frank,

I heard him speak about 2-3 months ago at The Masters College Chapel and loved what he had to say on marriage and what type of man it would take to marry his daughter. After hearing him reference the book I told my daughters boyfriend that I would be getting it for him. Also I will be getting this for my boys to read....good stuff.

Good review! Thanks!

Tom

Reformed Anon. Girl in Pain said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
DJP said...

Historical note:

I'm fairly certain that this is the first time the phrase "how God brought love into my life read" has occurred on this blog.

(c;

DJP said...

...and it happened in a Turk meta.

DJP said...

(BTW, Girl, I'm happy for you and your joy. Just teasing Frank! Hope you don't mind.)

Frank Turk said...

Nobody's going to talk about love in your meta, dude.


.


.


.


Doh!

Nasa30 said...

I want to read this book so my I can look like this father of the bride when my two daughters marry and marry a godly young man that will carry out the multigenerational faithfulness vision.
http://www.visionforum.com/hottopics/blogs/dwp/2009/03/4951.aspx

David Rudd said...

providential timing.

i'm sitting in a coffee shop reviewing books to be used my men in our church who are mentoring other men... and i read this.

just 31 words, and 3 digits.

Marty Winn said...

I want this book because I desire to be a better husband. I also have 2 young boys that I want to help grow into the right kind of men. And I have a little girl that I hope and pray marries the right man.

The Blainemonster said...

Win the book or not, I'm going to buy it. I have five sons that I pray will one day be shaped by the turbulence of life and the discipline of God into "five smooth stones" to be used by the hand of the Shepherd King to slay giants! :)

Everyday Mommy said...

Frank:

I need this book for a friend. She is a dear young woman of 22, fresh out of college and having just had her heart broken by a young man who claimed to love Christ. She has a love for God and His Word which is rare in today's young people. I hope this book would aid her in discovering God's qualifications in a future marriage partner.

Doug Hibbard said...

Frank--

Absolutely disturbing.

Although I'll share a quote from Dr. Baucham regarding your background info on him. When I heard him preach in Chattanooga in 2001, he pointed out that he was listed as a "speaker" and corrected. He said, and I've got this on tape, "Speakers come from Radio Shack. I came to preach."

Which has challenged me every time I open my mouth since. Am I here just to speak, like anybody can do, or am I here to preach, which nobody can do without the help of the Almighty God?

Doug

C W said...

Sounds like a great book. I could use it because I'm a pastor and it would be a great resource and teaching tool. Also, I'm getting married in about 2 1/2 months, so that may either give me time to change, or I may need to warn my fiance to not marry me :-)

Scott said...

Frank,

Because I'm a sinner.

johnMark said...

First, you’re welcome for the link to Voddie. Of course, this doesn’t mean I deserve anything.

Why? I have a 16 yr old daughter for whom college awaits so time is short. I’m approaching 40 and still have skills, but I want to first give the guy grace.

Mark

Frank Turk said...

Mr Hibbard --

Disturbing in exactly the right way.

Do we really have to say out loud that God ought to be disturbing to us?

jared said...

I have 5 sons, 4 of which i married into. My stepsons' dad (unbeliever)lives with us. (bad economy/stewardship). my pastor is grooming me to be an assoc. pastor. my wife knows i need to lead better at home before i can lead at church. I am a first generation christian. Need all the prayers and books i can get. thanks

Shinar Squirrel said...

I need this book because I have a daughter, and I want her to marry a Godly man.

The Squirrel

p.s.- Is there a calf-skin ESV study bible for second place? :-)

Earl said...

For years I was tossed to and fro by this world's view of masculinity. By God's grace, he called me to himself, and even a decade later, I am still trying to learn what it really means to be a Godly husband and father. I need this book to grow.

Frank Turk said...

I have disqualified johnMark as he is already qualified to teach this book. Don't let his public humility misdirect you: he's really that humble and stuff in private as well.

johnMark said...

Man, I didn't even have the chance to respond twice and disqualify myself.

Frank was willing to do the hard work for me. That's a true friend.

:)

love ya bro,

Mark

REM said...

Frank,
I have 3 young daughters (one still in the womb). I would love to have this book so that I can talk with them about it. Thanks,

beachbirdie said...

Thank for this post. I'm reeling from the news that my youngest daughter and her boyfriend decided to marry in six months. They are not ready. I've been frantically seeking something I can give them to help them think more seriously about marriage than they have been.

The Breakdownigans said...

Much like everyone else: i have 2 daughters, my brother has 3 boys & 1 daughter...we are starting a church and I am to be the Pastor. I need to know how to be the man that i want my daughters and niece to marry.

BTW Cent -- Given my soon to be entrance into being a Pastor your series on 1 & 2 Timothy & Titus has me chomping at the bit every week. That wasn't meant to sway your decision but I won't be hurt if it does...

donsands said...

I just finished reading "Stop Dating the Church", by Josh Harris. Great book.

I was thinking this would be a fine book to follow on the heels of Josh' book. I don't know.

My daughter married a fine man of Christ 12 years ago, and has three incredible sons.

My son-in-law came by the house one day, and asked for her hand. The night before he took Stephanie over to the house she grew up in and proposed to her there.

I suppose it's a good idea to ask the daughter first, just in case.

Doug Hibbard said...

Somehow I think we've lost the idea in Baptist life that God's holiness and standards ought to be what disturbs us, as opposed to Baptist standards, which should reflect His, but sometimes don't quite make it.


As far as what you've been working through, it's good to see how a layman interprets God's expectations of a pastor compared to how we pastors sometimes interpret those expectations.

Have a good one.

Doug

JOYce ~♥~ said...

Am very grateful for the extensive review, Frank ~ will linkie here.

Lorraine said...

Hi, my name is Lorraine and I am a blog-noob :-) I've been lurking here for months, not feeling that I had any profundity to add to the meta (see, I'm learning ;-) so I have just read, been encouraged, and learned lots. My 50 words for a chance at the book...

Our daughter is about to turn 17. After 12 years of home learning, much prayer, following the Lord and reading several solid books about guarding the heart for that one, godly man, I wish there was a bit more followup etc. from my dear husband - a wonderful man, but HE NEEDS this book to encourage him to encourage him to uphold all that we have been trying to teach over the years. My deep cry, that she walk in the truth, and with a godly man who can lead and shepherd her and the family, under Christ.

PS, sorry, I guess I can't count very well (blush)

PPS, if anyone has a suitable young man who would like to re-locate to Canada... ;-)

Solameanie said...

I've interviewed Voddie before on my radio program. Solid guy through and through! Looks like it's time to have him on again. Thanks for the heads up on the book.

Mr Wizzard said...

To what age is it addressed?
If at 26 and single, it is not too late for me, then I suppose I need this book.
FWIW this book made it to my Amazon wishlist two days ago, though I don't remember what I was looking at when I found it.

Michelle said...

Thank you very much for bringing this book to my attention.

My husband and I long to see Biblical manhood reclaimed, firstly in our egalitarian churches. It's our mission to live and proclaim God's beautiful design for men and women as they relate to each other, before our four children and others.

This message is desperately needed up here in Canada.

Father of Eleven said...

In the providence of God my wife and I were just looking for this book. We did not know it existed but we knew we needed it. Thanks for letting us know what it was.

One of the greatest difficulties of adopting foreign teenagers has been trying to instill a biblical view of womanhood and manhood in them in the short time we have them. Particularly, given that some of them were already into the worldly boy/girl thing when they came to us.

JR said...

I am a pastor. I am a husband. I have a son. I have twin daughters. I do pre-marital counseling. Frank is Pyro's top contributor. Winning is fun. Losing sucks.

Julie said...

Mr. Turk,

My husband:
- loves the Lord
- trying mightily to do well by his wife and three sons
- taking a stand to break with his family history (alcoholism, work-a-holics, divorce etc.) and raise our sons to be godly men

Me:
- always seeking ways to help this happen without undermining husband

"Pick me!"

pilgrim mommy said...

As a soon to be single mom with a teenage daughter, we currently do not have an example of a godly man at home. I pray that God will give her devotion to Jesus Christ and a godly husband, if He wills, with a like devotion.

Aric said...

Here's my entry for a chance at the book:

Right now, my wife's pacing the house, in labor with our fifth child. Recently, I realized that I lacked a biblical worldview of fatherhood. Now, I sojourn in search of teaching to equip me to train my children.

This book would be an invaluable resource: fuel to continue that journey.

End of entry.

Thank you for the review and opportunity to try and win the book.

sean patrick said...

Hi Frank. I'd love a crack at this book. It does fit a great need of mine. Here's my "resume" (start my 50 words now please!):


- 25 years old (born again for 6 years now)

- Single, desiring marriage(!!!)

- Grew up without a father (now have an older, godly mentor)

- Deeply convicted about what I lack concerning biblical manhood (many things), but determined to be more like Christ and not make excuses.

Daniel Kleven said...

I’m a 23 year old man, labouring and being trained in a local church, and getting married in August. I search the scriptures and beg God to shape me into a man equipped for both, you’ve convinced me this book will help, and I can’t afford new books. :-)

Daryl said...

Frank,

I need this book because I've got 5boys and one daughter, all of whom will need to know "what he must be" sooner or later.

Too many marry "what he really shouldn't be but what I can live with". I don't want that for my kids.

John said...

Why do we need this book? Because for the last few decades we have been taught how to get everything we want in life, and not how to fulfill the roles God has mandated for us. Love has been reduced from action to emotion. Husbands have been reduced from protectors and providers to partners.

Randy said...

Being a 27 year old father of two girls, I would love this book for myself. But I attend a church of 1500 which until two months ago had NO men's ministry whatsoever. Accordingly, the idea of biblical manhood is distant from our preaching and congregation.

Chad V. said...

Frank

My reason;

I'm engaged to be married. I need all the help I can get to be a godly husband.

Stefan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
trogdor said...

I plan on buying about ten of these to give to certain people I know. If I win this, I'll only need to buy about nine.

Stefan said...

Man, there are so many deserving pastors, husbands, fathers, mothers, wives, girlfriends, and boyfriends commenting here, that I don't want to be considered for this book.

Seriously.

But I thank God for leading me to godly pastors who understand what being a loving, responsible, God-fearing husband entails, and whom God has used to call me to the biblical model of manhood He calls all of us to. It's day by day, step by step, but my wife sees it, and it's all to the glory of God.

RitaHolets said...

I cannot wait to read this book and give it to my sons. We need this book because we have eight sons, the oldest of which will graduate from college this May and will be ready to marry soon. We also have two daughters who will need Godly husbands someday.

Rob said...

I don't actually need the book. I mean, it looks interesting and all but my three daughters (16, 13 and 11), their mother and I always just naturally do the right thing. Sometimes, when we seem to have made a mistake, it turns out we were right all along. So we're all set, thanks.

olan strickland said...

Frank,

My apologies! I didn't take the time to download the link you provided or else I would have known that it was the same sermon that I linked to.

Frank Turk said...

Rob is disqualified becuase he's obviously a Catholic.

Frank Turk said...

Did I say "Catholic"? I meant "Mormon".

Rob said...

Admit it Frank, mine was the best post. Except for the fifty word part.

Frank Turk said...

Best post I disqualified maybe ...


8-D

The Interface said...

I have two reasons for needing (not wanting) this book, and I will pick it up one way or the other. My first reason is my first born daughter, and my second, my second born daughter, both of marriageable age. Both have had suitors we have turned away for failure to meet what we believe to be biblical standards. Nevertheless, I don't claim infallibility and can use all the help I can as a father. Thanks for this review and calling it to my attention.

DJP said...

No joke: I am glaaaad this decision isn't mine!

gringa said...

I'm not looking for a free book, but I think I'll buy this book because of my six-year-old son. We already have been teaching him what kind of woman he will look for as a wife (way, way, way in the future!): a woman who loves Jesus. We obviously also ought to teach him to be a Godly man and leader of a family.

Thanks for the recommendation!

Rachael Starke said...

If I buy this book for my very discerning husband, he might suspect naggish-type trickery and be reluctant to crack it. But if I casually mention ” I won it from that Frank guy, the one who likes comic books”, he’ll read every page. He’s inherently suspicious of most Baptists…

DJP said...

Wow.

That's slick.

I wouldn't be Turk right now on a bet.

Frank Turk said...

I have a double-secret criterion which will make my decision a snap.

I think.

DJP said...

Does it involve toads and mealworms?

candy said...

Oh. I forgot the picture that goes with my entry.

Frank Turk said...

7 12-sided dice.

Ricky Rickard said...

Frank,

I am a young Christian. I need this book. I was not and am still not (working on it) that man for my wife. I was not and am not that man for my daughters (again, working on it.) I need to grow for the sake of my family.

Jared said...

My wife and I just had our first baby on Thursday, Feb. 26th. If it hadn't been a girl, I probably wouldn't even be trying to win a free book, but having here for six days now has really got me thinking how much more I have to grow.

Dave Martin said...

Thanks for bringing this book to our attention. Todays youth programs in our postmodern churches leave me wondering about the state of the future church.My personal needs involve my sons age 22 and 20 and my daughter soon to be 12.She is developing into quite the young lady and my hearts desire is that they would have the biblical wisdom to put God first in every decision. This book would be put to good use.

Tim Bertolet said...

Frank,

I thought I'd try something a little different, maybe get some points for creativity...

Here's my answer in 50 words or less via video.

Carol Jean said...

Lorraine said, "
PPS, if anyone has a suitable young man who would like to re-locate to Canada... ;-)"

I do have a great 17 1/2-year-old son, but he's considering a future in politics. Canada probably wouldn't work out.

Does turning this site into P-Harmony qualify as an entry? My son has decided not to date until his ready for commitment, but there's a certain ballerina who has caught his eye and it would be great to have Dr. Baucham's book to encourage him to stand firm!

Tom Vasel said...

Sounds like an interesting book.

Here are my words:

Missionary in Korea - male dominated society.

Pastor of a military church - lots of men.

Father of Melody, Amy, Holly, Clara, Violet, (and in one week) Violet Vasel. All nine and younger.

With apparently the largest female family in Korea - I think I'll need this book.

Nick Jesch said...

I've got a good shotgun and a case of shells. Might keep the rascals away IF I don't sleep at night. Better, I think, to bring up the daughters so they don't even notice the rascals, instead only giving the godly ones cause to come round asking after them.

Sir Brass said...

Well, 89 posts to go against, but having ignored them all, here's my reason:

I'm a single man, employed and self-sufficient and I want to be married. The world I live in has many of my fellow 20-something males totally going the wrong direction as it pertains to persuing girls and this book could help them immensely.

I also feel that it could benefit myself greatly too, as I do not wish to be someone who waits and delays marriage till he's well into his 30's.

So, this book sounds like it answers the question I'd like an answer to: just what kind of man do I need to be to rightly pursue a godly woman with the intention of marriage, and forgetting that, where am I lacking in the attributes of a godly man.

That's why I feel I need this book. Thanks for your consideration.

herewestand said...

I don't want the free copy of this book as the cost of shipping to New Zealand would probably equal the value of the book, but I will say why I intend to buy a few copies.

I'm 21, single, starting out in the ministry, in one of the least churched, most-egalitarian, most-feministic countries in the West; and being one of the few Christian males able to teach, I am entrusted with discipling and instructing males from 13-25. Being a Christian man is almost considered a crime in some places.
So help me God.

The larger than expected honorarium just received will go towards buying multiple copies of this book.

Dan Odom said...

Thanks Frank for the "review". I find Voddie an anomaly. Most of what he says I am engrossed with and then some stuff I scratch my head and wonder where he really is at. Some of his stuff I just can't hang with. I look forward to reading this book and I know it will bless my family as I have both a son and daughter.

Van said...

Save the book for someone else.

Frank, this post brought back memories. Shortly after I became a Christian, I attended a wedding ceremony and actually considered the vows for the very first time in my life. As I listened to a pair of committed Christians make their unconditional vows cold chills ran up my spine and I asked myself "What kind of fool would promise something like THAT?" That was the moment that I realized I wasn't ready for marriage at all. I spent the next couple of years learning skills the world said were necessary... like conflict resolution, child care, job skills so I could support a family, etc.

Sometime after I started my program to be a marriageable guy I was reading 1&2 Timothy and I realized that I was going about it all wrong. In 1 Tim 6:11 Paul calls Timothy a "man of God" and then clarifies the thought in 2Tim. 3:16-17 when he said "All scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness; so that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work." It also occurred to me as I read Paul's description of elders that he was merely describing mature Christian men that also had the ability to teach. Since at the time I knew of no adequate men of God that were equipped for much of anything useful, I studied God via his inspired word. What better way to be a man of God than to study God, and be like Him?

This is probably a book that would have been useful to me in 1996. While I am still amazed that God would bring a woman into my life like my wife, I learned along the way that the word of God is sufficient to teach me how to be a man of God, uniquely prepared by God for whatever challenges come along with the wife He prepared for me.

It sounds like Dr. Baucham has distilled some really important lessons for men from the source. Good Biblical guidance for men is hard to find.

BSC said...

I just came across this book and I want it for my 18 year old daughter. She has a friend. "A really nice guy. Much nicer than all the Christian guys at church. We talk. Really talk." The truth is that he is a fantastic young man. I want her to focus on what the Bible says about marriage before she gives her heart to a wonderful young man with values completely opposed to hers and Gods.

Blessings,
Beth

Frank Turk said...

Hey: just because Dan bumped this post doesn't mean you still can't sign up.

Two more days of registration for the book giveaway.

DJP said...

If it's the next day, it's still "bumping"?

Touchy.

DJP said...

...then I'm going to say this post is bumping this post!

:^P

Joy Courville said...

I first heard about this book from Dr. Baucham's message on Biblical womanhood when he talked about writing it. Now that it is in print I am eager to get a copy of it! My dad has four unmarried daughters and two unmarried sons, and we all need it! :)

Thanks!

Brance said...

Frank,

I would like to have this book as I seek to love my wife and raise my, now, 10 month old daughter. Also I shepherd a group of high school and college students who are moving into the marriage era of their lives and are coming to me for council.

In Christ Alone said...

My husband and I have a 3 year old son and plan on more in the future. We're both unemployed right now, so can't buy books. Also, we share a lot of books in our church, so once we read it, it would be passed on to others.

echindod said...

I have to say... I know the guy on the cover!

Not that it adds anything to the discussion.

Warren said...

I am involved in a men's prayer group and I keep hearing the typical Evangelical blather about how we have to try harder and do better. I would love this book to help guide the conversation in a more Biblical direction.

philness said...

I need this book now because I am a sinner and God could kill me any second without having told the world and taught my 13 year old son for his future wife and kids’ sake the absolute importance of in home discipleship by this awesome black preacher, Voodie Buchman.

PuritanD said...

The first time I heard of Voddie Bauchman was at our state's homeschooling convention. It was one of the most powerful sermons I had heard. He then appeared at Moody's pastors conference and even at a Founder's week. Though I am not one to enter such contests, I deeply enjoyed sitting under Voddie Bauchman's teaching and his book Family Driven Faith so here it goes:

My sister-in-law has been courted by a young man for almost two years. He is being discipled by his pastor which happens to be me. This book would be an asset to him as he looks into furthering this relationship, recognizing I am not the only one thinking this way.

Wow, never thought how difficult that could be. I do hope you count the hyphenated word as one or else I am in trouble :-)

takin said...

Since 2003 my wife and I have adopted four children; two boys and two girls. They are currently ages 5, 6, 7, and 8. I will read the book and then over the next fifteen years I will teach “this stuff to [my] sons so they can be this kind of men. And then teach it to [my] daughters so they kind find these kind of men.”

Ken said...

I have 2 daughters, 5 and 6 years old. I pray for them and their future husbands daily that they are being brought up in the ways of the Lord. I am an avid reader and run the bookstore at our church. I cannot wait to read this book.

Paula said...

We have three beautiful daughters whom we love and cherish, and we don't want to do them wrong. With more and more marriages ending in divorce, we know that the choice of a husband, a what he must be husband, is more important than ever. This book will teach us.

smoonen said...

Hi Frank, thanks for your review. I need this book because I want and need to grow in discipling my growing family.

Stuart said...

I noticed a few youth pastors and sunday school teachers posting comments. Mybe they need to check out the rest of his stuff that's also very interesting. But they may need to think about changing to a full pastors role before they read it. Its changed my mind re how we do church. I'll buy the book.

Jeanette said...

My daughter is 27 years old and has honored the Lord by keeping herself pure until marriage. Her dad left home, a man has entered her life and I would like to give this book to the man since I believe in men mentoring men. She is currently with The World Race and will be home in August, enough time for the man to read the book. Thank you

Kristine said...

We have four boys 8 and under who will become men, wanting to marry lovely Christian daughters, and we desire to raise them to be what they must be to marry those daughters.

Strawberry said...

If I comment on other's comments is that then "meta meta"? 8-D

Would be glad to receive the book... have 3 girls,1 boy and 1 more on the way... a shotgun in one hand and this book in the other should round things out nicely ;-)

however... I can afford the book. so give it to someone else. But thank-you for the review. My wife and I also really appreciated his book "Family-driven faith".

alo 89 said...

10 minutes I got off the phone with a father who has to explain manhood to a 9 year old son despite being a party to a rancorous divorce. He asked me for a book he could read that would prepare him to talk with his son. Then I came here where I have not been for months and saw your discussion of this book. I suppose this is just coincidence but I don't believe in coincidence.

Reformed Anon. Girl in Pain said...

DJP I didn't delete my comment because I was offended at all, just so you know.

I did take the one comment rule to heart though.

I can buy this book for my boyfriend.

I think you should give this book to "Everyday mommy" because her friend is my friend too and she can use it at this time of heartache.

thanks
REformed girl

Arthur Sido said...

Almost finished with this book and it has more wisdom on most pages than five whole books in a Family Christian store. Saying this is a "must read" sounds like back cover hyperbole but it is true.

Frank Turk said...

I gave you-all an extra coupla hours to get entered, and comments are now closed.

Winner will be notified this weekend; name will be posted here Monday.