08 September 2011

DJP abducted by aliens

by Frank Turk

I'm working out a deal for his release.  More later.


32 comments:

christianlady said...

ack...
Hopefully back for H&T!
Yes, I'm selfish like that.

sandysewin said...

What are their demands?

Tom Chantry said...

I sure hope they're not undocumented!

The Squirrel said...

I knew we should have been worried, when he started making mountains out of mashed potatoes...

stratagem said...

I have a few dilithium crystals I can contribute toward negotiating his release, if the aliens are short on fuel.

Stan McCullars said...

I can add some gold-pressed latinum to those dilithium crystals.

Scooter said...

Remember your Macbook. Job's is either an alien refuge seeking to benefit mankind or his mind is so far ahead of us that his products can cross the vastness of space.

Barring that, I have 2 cats I can donate to the ransom price.

Pastor Pants said...

On behalf of the "aliens", we are not letting him go until he has preached God's Word to us 4 times. These are, and always have been, our demands and we will not compromise.

JackW said...

Dan's Plan A - I've Got Nothin'

Nope, Frank did that.

Plan B - Open Letter to College Football

Doht!

Plan C ... aliens?

Solameanie said...

No, Dan has not been abducted by aliens. He has been assimilated by the Borg. Resistance was futile.

William Dicks said...

If the "aliens" are from Mexico, just let the FBI give them a couple of semi-automatic weapons, then they'll release Dan!

Frank Turk said...

They are asking for Utah and "shelf-stable stem cell samples" from Sophia Vergara.

Suggestions?

Jon said...

Are they asking for any Unobtainium? I don't have any... obviously, but I figured I'd ask.

Frank Turk said...

You people don't know who Sophie Vergara is, do you?

Keith said...

I heard a rumor that DJP called up the team and said, "Hey guys, Iv'e been reading some stuff by a guy named Jacobus Arminius. Have you seen this? Looks interesting." After which he disappeared. Just sayin'.

Mel said...

Who?!

Alex Guggenheim said...

Or he could be captivated over at Justin Taylor's blog by those articles on Self-Promotion. Who knows. And maybe The Gospel Coaltion is alient these days.

Unknown said...

I fear for what some undisciplined person might do with Utah and those stem cell samples.
we already have 2 books, and many thoughts from Dan, so we probably can suffer the loss for a little time, as Peter said.
we should ask his family what they want us to offer for him.

Frank Turk said...

It takes a lot of enthusiasm to start lectures on promotion and self-promotion on a blog which uses about 80% of its bandwidth to generate traffic by linking to blogs which link to it.

The Squirrel said...

Cent, I am much too sanctified to know the names of Brazilian super-models, thank you very much!

Harumph!

Squirrel

Doug Hibbard said...

Squirrel,

Isn't she Colombian and not Brazilian?

Frank,

No, we just don't know how cells from the center part of a plant relate to said supermodel.

the phantom of the bookstore said...

IT'S A COOKBOOK !!!!!

Scooter said...

Are they gullible aliens? Could they be tricked into taking some of Manitoba or the Northwest Territories? Or even Montana?

NoLongerBlind said...

It's a Twaapp!!!

Susan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Susan said...

I concur with Phantom of the Bookstore. And poor DJP (bless his heart) thought those aliens were true converts and were ready to serve man!

Well, I guess that explains why he has this guy who does celebrity Shakespeare readings on his blog today--to keep us busy so we won't bother looking for him!

Mike Erich the Mad Theologian said...

Being from Utah I would be willing to consider going over to the aliens if they will make a point of preaching people here the true gospel. Do we have the makings of a deal?
(Someone else will have to come up with the stem cells.)

Michael Lawmaster said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Brian Roden said...

I knew who Sofia Vergara was when she was a blonde on Univisión on a show called "Fuera de Serie." That would have been 2002 or earlier, because when we moved in late 2002 we dropped satellite.

lee n. field said...


I'm working out a deal for his release. More later


If it doesn't work out, can I have his stuff?

christianlady said...

Give them what they want! Who took over H&T? Would they take Joel O in trade?

mwhenry said...

@Tom Chantry
Why? if they are they can get a drivers license and financial aid for college, for a minimum.