03 October 2007

Before the main event ...

by Frank Turk

You should read this bit from Holy Observer. 'sperfect.

HT: Northword









25 comments:

DJP said...

It was my birthday present, Precious.

philness said...

LOL...this is the greatest. I'm crying I'm laughing so hard.

Corn Nuts.....lol....oh my goodnes.

Mike Riccardi said...

"Paul Pierce got saved" was, I think, the most clever and funniest quip.

Quarterback, Bryce your fellow sojourner... this stuff is priceless.

And at the same time, it's so extremely sad.

Alan Kurschner said...

My favorite line,

"Don't forget that one girl in the robe," offered Chandler, who proceeded to stand up, clasp his hands together and pretend to "sleepwalk" across the living room floor. "She comes out and says, 'now it's time for lectio divina.' I'm like, 'Yo, I never heard of them. Are they crunk, or gangsta, or what?'

Tyler said...

I had just read that two days ago and went absolutely NUTS

DJP said...

"I felt like a science project."

donsands said...

Is this a real church?! No way!

I am so unfamilair with a lot of the lingo, but I think I loved it.

Kristine said...

...I think I'm embarrassed for them (the emerging sojourners, that is). I can't stop shaking my head, which is being upheld by my hand.

dkyle said...

You do realize that this is a parody site and the story isn't real, right?

DJP said...

No!! Frank... did you know?! I'm... I'm speechless. You mean this isn't an actual interview?

My entire world... crumbling....

centuri0n said...

dkyle:

Art imitate life, brother.

The real challenge is that it has to be explained -- both the joke and the fact that it is a parody.

... waiting for the person who's going to complain about the use of a black family to parody ECM ...

centuri0n said...

Gadflea:

That one got me, too -- "are they crunk?"

Priceless.

dkyle said...

centuri0n:
You are so right about art imitating life and I believe this parody brings to a point what the "movement" looks like to someone who has had their eyes opened from the knowable and definite Truth of God's Word.

I only mentioned it was a parody to prevent someone from making an embarrasing statement, that would inevitably come, from someone who thought it was real.

See djp, sorry :-)

DJP said...

There are some parodies that are so dead-on, they have had the opposite effect on me. That is, I'll read an actual news story, and immediately think, "Wait -- is this Scrappleface?"

northWord said...

I'd never heard of the word "janky" before, that made me laff - a great word to replace "funky" when referring to, um, that corn nut smell.

you realize the article was written in 2004, back when many wolves were still just pups, my how they've grown!
(actually; I wasn't paying attention in 2004 to any of these things)

yeah that "article" was chock-full-o-stuff, glad you enjoyed :)

Kevin said...

Sounds like Solomons Porch to me. Don't tase me bro!

northWord said...

ps - actually it's "northWord" - blogger wouldn't let me stick that cap in there :(

centuri0n said...

Can we just call you "mom"?

~Mark said...

Parody or not, I experience stuff like that in different settings on a weekly basis. Several times a week depending on my schedule.

Churches, business meetings, my job. Truly, if it weren't for the name and byline of the site I wouldn't have doubted the story 'til I read other stuff there.

It would take me a while to count up the number of pastors who've met me and suddenly it's "Hey, wassup bro'" and they begin the "convoluted handshake".

It ain't just the EC either. There are plenty of pastors who practice putting on another face around White pastors too. A good friend tells me often of friends who change their entire persona around people of other ethnic groups, then share in privacy later how that's the "best way to communicate with them".

northWord said...

mom? heheheheh.......

hows about sis ;)

northWord said...

Regarding all this fronting going on in the "church" (the body or 4 walls) it always comes back and points to pride -- man just keeps trying to "show" himself and not "show" Christ. It's so easy for any one of us to fall into, even me. Thats why we must stay on the track given to us through scripture--stay in scripture so we don't "drift".

We are nothing, nothing at all but Christ who lives through us.
His grace is sufficient, His Gospel message complete just the way it is.

I have alot hope along with my prayers for these false teachers and the people who are yet blinded by them as I see Gods hand moving about the world (my own, and the world in general)....it's been an awesome site to see.

Sewing said...

I loved it. There was just one flaw in the story, however. Because of the smelly feet of the guy sitting next to the wife, she had to cover her nose with the church bulletin. Would that kind of church have something as "old-fashioned" as a bulletin?

Sewing said...

Sorry, as "modernistic" as a church bulletin?

centuri0n said...

"cartesian" is the word you are groping for, sewing.

Sewing said...

How about "Euclidean":

"Your doctrine is so straight-line Euclidean, dude. It's so 19th-century."

Or "Newtonian":

"You probably think gravity can't bend light either, man, you're so frozen in your thinking. You're like Newton, man. Like hello, quantum mechanics has only been around for a century!? He was a religious kook, too."