20 September 2006

I got nothin'

by Frank Turk

UPDATED 10/10: Oh BOOYAH! 27 designs made it to the actual contest. We had 4 non-starters because I couldn't find graphics for them which were in a decent enough resolution to get them into 10inX10in size. Sorry!

So here's how the contest works: You go visit the contest shop, and you buy the deeply-discounted t-shirt you think has the best obscure hero of the faith. We run the shop through Reformation Day (October 31), and on the morning of November 1, I run the sales report for the shop. The design which sold the most UNITS wins the prize I have outlined someplace in this post -- so if somebody sells 10 sweatshirts, but somebody else sells 11 value T's, the person who sold 11 UNITS wins in spite of the fact that the design which sold 10 sweatshirts sold twice as many dollars worth of stuff.

That make sense? Good. Go buy something and we'll talk about this again when the contest is over.

Go. This is the link.


UPDATED 10/9: Yes, I know -- I'm a week behind. I have also, if you'll check my blog, gone fishin'. The contest will begin when I have all the t-shirts rendered and uploaded. Thank you for your patience.


UPDATED 10/4: no updates. Sorry! Thanks for checking!


UPDATED 10/3: I have a list of 32 design ideas (including the first person who submitted said idea), and I am downloading images to drop into the template. I am also still in the thick of video editing for my church. Since the selling season for the contest is the whole month of October, but this video has to be ready and burned to DVD by Friday, your shirts are on-hold. For your convenience, when we have a live t-shirt shop I'll change the contest graphic on the front page.

Please do not cause global unrest in your urgency to see these designs on actual products. This is a t-shirt contest and not a clash of civilizations.


UPDATED 9/29: OK -- the contest entry deadline is tomorrow (9/30), and I promised to have the rule-abiding entries in a cafepress shop by October 1. Well, I'm in the middle of shooting and editing a vision-casting video for my church, my parents are flying in to town today, and my normal hectic life leaves me short on time to hit the 10/1 start selling date at CafePress.

Just be forewarned that the shop will not be available on 10/1. It may take until 10/3 to have it full of your really cool ideas.



I am certain Dan has something very insightful to say today. I am, unfortunately, out of pocket and can't find 45 minutes to knock out a decent TeamPyro post.

I did, however, get an e-mail from the Pawn Shop Host, and they told me that I am in the running to be shopkeeper of the month, based on the sales of the "homeboy collection" of cheap junk at ridiculous prices. By a long shot, these are the best selling items ever posted at the Pawn Shop, and I encourage you to show the world that the truly reformed are people, too, by buying a shirt and making the Pawn Shop the Shop of the Month at CafePress.

It could lead to a contest, but I am too busy to figure one out right now.

UPDATED: "mike" in the meta inspired this contest ideaer, so read closely. I have gotten literally dozens of one-up ideas for "homeboy" t-shirts -- that is, ideas one person swears they would buy if it was in the Pawn Shop, but prolly not anyone else.

Well, all you brilliant thinkers, here's the deal:

In the meta of this post, put up your one-up ideas. You are limited to ideas that I have not already created and posted in the Pawn Shop, and they must be historical figures with some kind of relationship to Reformed theology, and a dead person; for example, Athanasius was a reformer in his age and would be fair game, but Joseph Smith or any Pope would not be inside the bounds of good taste -- we don't want to get accused of lampooning or disrespect -- and James White would be a living person of whom we do not want to run afoul. You have until Midnight on Sept 30, 2006 to make your entry. One entry per poster. On Oct 1, I will open up a "Homeboys II" section in the Pawn Shop, and whichever idea sells the most t-shirts in the month of October, the thinker who thought up the great idea gets a free t-shirt (gray T), mug and poster (unframed) as a reward. In case of a tie, I pick the winner and there's no appeal process. In the event that there are no sales on your one-up ideaers, there will be no winner.

It doesn't get any more fair than that. I look forward to your horsepower. One other thing: I'm going to reduce my markup on the items in that section of the shop to make it all the more appealing -- so you'll see all the prices lowered and ending in .99. May it never be said that I was unfair to you people after you came up with great ideas.







90 comments:

DJP said...

"Busy"... but never too busy to flog your fruit-stand.

(c;

Kim said...

djp:

As my children say, you just "pwned" Frank. And no, that is not a typo.

It comes from teenagers. That ought to explaiin it.

DJP said...

1. Strictly, I believe it's pwn3d

2. The fact that it seems that way frightens me. When I think I'm witty, Frank always swats me like a bug.

Finrod said...

What?!?

No "C.I. Scofield Is My Home Boy"?

Or "Lewis Sperry Chafer"?

"John Nelson Darby"?

How do expect to sell in mass quantities and retire young?

C. T. Lillies said...

I'm still waiting on you to thrown down with Zondervan on the faux fur TNIV.

Josh

Yankeerev said...

I just don't think that I could wear something that has been associated with CT in such a flagrant manner...compromise...!!

Worse than that...I have images now of Jonathan Edwards - My homeboy - rapping "Sinners in the hands of an angry God..."

Yikes :0)

DJP said...

Wait... it just dawned on me.

You just take FORTY-FIVE MINUTES to do your posts?

Augh!

< thud >

centuri0n said...

I love it when the other shoe drops.

centuri0n said...

Mike:

Do you have any ideaer how many one-up requests like Scofield and Darby I have gotten? I admit that Gerhardus Vos is a little obscure, but I've sold a handful of those -- in fact, the only design yet to sell one is (and I don't get this at all -- I was overwhelmed with requests) Van Til.

However, your post has given me a great ideaer for a new contest.

More later.

H.C. Ross said...

How 'bout "Bock & Blaising are my Homeboys'?

'Piper is my peeps'?

'MacArthur's Mo' Bettah'?

'Calvin's Crunk'?

'Athanasius is Aiight'?

'Brian MacLaren's Buggin'?

'TeamPyros: cold chedda boys with mad postin' skills dissin' haters'?

Steve said...

Frank: Here's a hint on how to knock out a decent TeamPyro post in just five minutes: Find a great Spurgeon quote and post it.

(Or if you want to get in Dan's face, find a Jonathan Edwards quote.)

centuri0n said...

_____________________________________

Contest entries begin after this post
_____________________________________

Char said...
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Char said...
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Luke said...
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Gloria said...

No popes? Not even Peter? ;-)

rebecca said...

Okay, how about John Bunyan?

I don't think I saw him there....

BugBlaster said...
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BugBlaster said...
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Jeff Fuller said...

How about a t-shirt for the ladies...

"My HomeBoy Likes TULIPs"

Heeheehee...

Robert said...

Benjamin Breckenridge Warfield

Robert said...

Oops! Already done> Imjust looked at the list.

Robert said...
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Robert said...
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Taliesin said...

George Whitefield

Char said...
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centuri0n said...

One.

Entry.

Per.

Customer.

It that really such a complicated rule? One. Not two in one post. One.

Why do people who cannot control themselves have to suck the life out of fun stuff? One entry per customer. If I can peel off a day to make up the graphics for this contest, you people can make ONE ENTRY PER CUSTOMER. All violations to right now are being deleted and we're starting over.

Even So... said...

William Carey...

Bob said...

I got one! How about "Francis Schaeffer is my homeboy"? eh eh?

Char said...

Well I can't find the picture I want of Athanasius stepping on Arius (execept a Fanous). Since the posts have been deleted, all's well that ends well-it just won't be the same without the stepping.

When I get back home I am just going to have to draw myself one.

Good luck with the contest everyone!

TheBlueRaja said...

J.C. Ryle

Martin Downes said...

Martyn Lloyd-Jones

H.C. Ross said...

Louis Berkhof!

Highland Host said...

"Thomas Chalmers is my Home Boy"

The Free Church of Scotland demand it. (or would if they thought about it).

Taliesin said...

Starting over!?

Does that mean I need to say "George Whitefield" again?

étrangère said...

Ok, I would have bought a 'J Gresham Machen is my homeboy' tee shirt already except that
- I don't get the homeboy thing. It sounds vaguely rude to me (I'm assuming it's not, cos you're doing it, but that's how it sounds to me), or if not, far too cool for me. Maybe it's cos I'm not American.
- I fear shipping costs. Cos I'm not American.
- I don't wear T-shirts with prints on. Maybe it's cos I'm not American.

I do love J.Gresham Machen though, praise God for how he used him.

Martin Downes said...

My wife and I puzzled over the "homeboy" bit. "It couldn't be about sexuality could it?" we worried. Thankfully the dictionary cleared it up. That's what you get for being British (but mainly Welsh of course).

I kid you not.

centuri0n said...

"homeboy": also "homey".

It means "close friend; fellow gang-member; confidant". I suppose in some way it can be interpreted as "disrespectful", but that's only if speaking of dead men in an overly-familiar way can be consrued as disrespectful.

It's a t-shirt, not a political statement.

Connie said...

Put me down for S. Lewis Johnson!!!

Jim Crigler said...

There're just too many. I'm going with ...

William Tyndale.

Bill said...

Rick Warren...


(hehehe)

Sam-I-Am said...

How 'bout John Owen?

brlittle said...

Ulrich Zwingli... as in

"Zwingli ist mein Hauptjunge"

(better keep it in English for better sales... unless you have a great German/Swiss market!)

Daniel Calle said...

Robert Murray M'Cheyne

Gloria said...

Thomas Cranmer

luthers95 said...

Herman Bavinck

-If you need an image there is a great sketch on the cover page of "Reformed Dogmatics (vol. 1)".

Gordon Cloud said...

How about Cotton Mather?

With you trying to sell during October, I'll bet he would be popular.

Agent Tim said...

A.W. Pink.

Screaming Pirate said...
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Screaming Pirate said...

for the Home school moms.........

Sarah Edwards is my Homegirl

Connie said...

Screaming Pirate, in keeping with your home GIRL thinking, I say "you go girl"!!

I'll join you on the Sarah Edwards vote!

jeff said...

Stephen Charnock

philness said...

Saint Augustine- he might be too far removed from the reformation time period but he was calvinistic.

centuri0n said...

I'd entertain any of the great church fathers prior to, um, the Schism of East vs. West. How's that?

prchinjim said...

JOHN BUNYAN IS MY HOME BOY
IF THIS ENTRY WINS I WANT A CHARLES SPURG. MUG I'M NEW TO THIS SITE AND I LOVE IT KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK CUZ I'LL KEEP COMMIN BACK

CalvDispy said...

Golden Mouth

Kim said...

Mary Slessor.

I read her biography to my boys, and she was one amazing woman.

Fred Butler said...

I am going with John Gill.

He has it all

He's edgy, and the potrait would be killer.

Fred

ajlin said...

I think that in consideration of his recent posts, you oughta bend the rules and print "Dan Phillips is my homeboy" shirts, if he wouldn't be offended.

Even So... said...

People, Cent said,

You are limited to ideas that I have not already created and posted in the Pawn Shop

Before you go thinking you are so smart that no one had thought of it yet... Check it out before you post Machen, Gill, or anyone else already there...

Even So... said...

Just wanted to help, no attack meant, guys (and girls)...

REM said...

John Wycliffe

Adam said...

Francis Turretin

ajlin said...

For the radicals out there:

"Oliver Cromwell is my Homeboy."

Char said...

I found a picture on wikipedia. It is indeed a Fanous (or someone of his school), but wikipedia is claiming it has been released into the public domain, so...
Athanasius: Orthodox OG (yeah I changed it)

Phil Johnson said...

Char:

Great picture! Thanks. I hope you win. There's no accounting for Frank's tastes, but you get my vote hands down.

CalvDispy said...

I like the plethora of images for my Johnny C at http://www.chrysostom.org/icons.html
He is truly golden!

Char said...

I love that Athanasius piece too. It's being added to the public domain makes me happy, as I have now copied it to use.

I have to share: I discovered the work of Isaac Fanous When looking up faiyuum portraits awhile back. He is the founder of one of two contemporary schools of Coptic iconography (well that I know of) and he or one of his students wrote the Athanasius piece. His style is influenced by cubism and graphic art-I think it is particularly attractive, but that's just me.
My own piece of Athanasius pales in comparison, it lacks the layers of symbolism-and Arius getting stepped on.

Okay I'm done gushing.

centuri0n said...

I TOTALLY resent the implication by Phil that somehow my taste is questionable. This from a guy who put pinstripes in his first version of the new "apply directly to forehead" logo. If he weren;t my friend I'm add his name to a japanese spam list.

And the Anathanasius graphic is so spectacular, and I have such a nutty obsession with Athanasius -- the original Pyro, if you ask me, who stood for truth when nobody else would -- that I'm going to t-shirt-itfy him and give the first one to Char if she will e-mail me her contact info.

BTW, Phil: have you listened in on the Catalyst podcasts at all? I'm dying to blog this car wreck, but I don'y want to steal your thunder.

Dude said...

I would by a t-shirt that says:

"Greg Bahnsen is my homeboy"

He is probably one of the few dead guys submitted so far who would heartily approve such a t-shirt

Ephemeral Mortal said...

Thomas Watson

Char said...

Haha the Athanasius OG shirts are very cool! I knew the style would make great tshirts.

Thanks for using it. Athanasius is one of my favorite people; if we're going to wear anyone like a brand label it might as well be someone who deserves the exposure.

Thanks for offering the shirt,
centuri0n. I will email my addy, and wear with pride when it comes.

The beta switch seems to finally caught up with me as I can't comment under my usual account. I hope this works...

Fundamentally Reformed said...

How about:

"Charles Finney ain't my homeboy"

or something like that. (You don't have to include the bold).

You could even use that really spookly looking image of Finney that Phil has posted here. Those beady eyes!

4given said...

I like the "Ain't" my homeboy thing. Hilarious. I could think of quite a few of those. But then, I know how to count to one.

As a woman I would like to see a homegirl t-shirt like "Elisabet Creutziger is my homegirl", but I can't find a picture of her. She wrote a hymn called "Lord Christ, the only Son of God."

4given said...

Yes, I homeschool and I do know how to count to one... so sue me. But maybe you will consider "Susie Spurgeon is my homegirl"

Jon Blevins said...

David Brainerd is my Homeboy.

Allen R. Mickle, Jr. said...

How about "Andrew Fuller?" It would be good in connection with Gill... Gill as the Hyper-Calvinist... Fuller as the Evangelical Calvinist!

SFB said...

Jon Blevins got to mine first. David Brainerd is my homeboy.

Love the Sara Edwards and Susie Spurgeon ideas for the ladies as well!

Mathew Sims said...

One HUGE oversight...

"Richard Sibbes is my homeboy."

You can't be Sibbes.

MBS
Soli Deo Gloria

Kent Brandenburg said...

Booker T. Washington Is My Homeboy!

http://www.vahistorical.org/sva2003/btw01b.jpg

candyinsierras said...

Does it count that I made a comment about waiting for my Jonathan Edwards t-shirt (thanks to the cover of CT) on your blog and the next day you started your homeboy line?

mensa reject said...

I know I'm stretching the whole "must have a relationship to Reformed theology"-thing, but I really like the sound of Polycarp Is My Homeboy.

centuri0n said...

____________________________________

CONTEST REGISTRATION IS *CLOSED*

STAY TUNED FOR THE SHOP TO OPEN AND YOUR CHANCE TO VOTE WITH YOUR CASH.
____________________________________

Nick Hill said...

Where is Edwards and Calvin? Where is Machen?

TheBlueRaja said...

I think you spelled Chrysostom wrong on the shirt.

TheBlueRaja said...

You also spelled Richard Sibbes wrong.

S

TheBlueRaja said...

And Louis Berkhof.

Mark B. Hanson said...

Too bad about the requirement for "reformed theology" - my daughter would have loved (and bought) a "C.S. Lewis is my homeboy" shirt. So would I.

Probably copyright problems, too - I assume his publishers own his "image" as well.

The Foolishness of Preaching said...

I sure would love a "Shubal Stearns is my homeboy shirt" ... I'd buy 3.

jenny said...

What about John Winthrop?